Our Little Secret [Jeon Jungkook FF]

Chapter 5: Is it really over?

I can't believe I didn't go through with my thought process from this morning. I was so nervous and anxious all day to only succumb to his cuteness and not even say what I wanted... I sighed to myself.

I looked around the dinner table as I met eyes with Jimin. His eyes were asking, "Are you alright?" I nodded my head looking towards him.

I everted my eyes and scanned the room again until I made eye contact with Jungkook who smiled towards me. I couldn't help but to smile back.I felt a blush creeping onto my face so I immediately shot my eyes back down to my food. I had barely touched it because I spent most of the time thinking about what happened today.

"Y/N, you should eat before it gets cold!" Jin scolded me.

"Sorry oppa, I have a lot on my mind... but, I'll dig in right away!" I began stuffing my face with the elders food. My eyes began to tear up a bit. Jin is such a good cook, this food tastes like heaven.

"Do you like it?" Jin asked laughing.

"Jinnnnnn, it's amazing." I whined. Jin smiled to himself upon hearing my response.

Suddenly the ringing of a phone threw us all off.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook called out, "It's Eunha, I gotta go." Jungkook grabbed all his things and headed out without saying a word.

We all stared towards each other. He's never left during a family dinner before. These are quality bonding moments, we take the time and we communicate with each other. We've all agreed to keep phones turned off and to just hear each other out over anything.

Jin looked towards his empty space, seemingly scanning the bowl that sat on the table, "First his phone rings and he leaves, but then he also wasted the food I spent my precious time making?" Jin sighed, getting uo from his seat to grab the bowl and put the extra food in his own bowl.

I sighed to myself, she's starting to throw everything off... annoying. I immediately felt bad for my thought. That seemed a little harsh.

"It's fine, let him be." Namjoon added.

"I get he's in love and all, but that doesn't mean he can just be rude..." Jimin spat out, "This is our first time all being together in a while, what was so important that he had to leave?" he rolled his eyes.

"Oh c'mon Jimin, why are you being so harsh?" Hoseok added, reaching to pat the younger one on the shoulder.

"I'm not. He's starting to forget what's important. First he misses Y/N's first event for a stupid date, but now he's leaving during family dinner? This is our tradition, he's breaking it." Jimin vented to Hoseok. Which Hoseok nodded his head in agreement.

"I know I really don't have much of a say, but I kind of agree with Jimin..." I added putting my utensils to lay on the table.

"You do have a say Y/N, you're apart of this family. And Jimin is right, I'm still not happy with what he did to you myself." Namjoon spoke.

"Look, everyone just calm down. It's the first time he's breaking tradition. I'm sure there must have been a good reason for him getting up to leave. Just eat your food." Yoongi called out, seemingly growing annoyed with the conversation.

We all finished our food in silence. It's clear to read the atmosphere, it's easy to tell that his leaving sort of bothered everyone.

"Give the kid a break okay? He's an adult just trying to live his life. And Y/N I'm not excusing what he did to you when I say that. At that time he was in the wrong, but for today, just let it go." Yoongi spoke grabbing for his bowl and getting up to leave for the kitchen.

Everyone shot more glances towards each other. I have a feeling everyone, including myself thoguht Yoongi was right.

"Okay guys, let's call it a night. Everyone should just head home and cool down." Jin got up from his seat and followed Yoongi into the kitchen.

✎...

Jimin ended up driving me back to my apartment, by the time we were all done it was too late to walk back and too troublesome to call a cab.

We made our way to my apartment door and I invited him in, to which he gladly accepted. He headed straight for the living room and plopped himself down onto the couch and I followed right behind him.

"Tonight didn't go the way I expected it to." he sighed resting his head onto the back of the couch.

"Agreed. I expected the night to be longer. After dinner we'd chat some more, play some games, maybe even drink a little." I added, chuckling lightly.

He brought his head back upright and faced me, "Did I overreact?".

I was quite surprised with his question, "With the whole Jungkook thing?" I raised a brow.

"Yeah... looking back on it, I kinda snapped for no reason. Yoongi was right. Jungkook is just trying to be an adult. He's trying to enjoy many aspects of his young adulthood. I'm wrong to be angry at him for that. I myself was like that once too." he sighed laying his head back onto the back of the couch.

"Yeah... Yoongi made me realize that too. I think I was honestly still mad at him for bailing on me. Eunha just means so much to him. I guess I don't like falling second to her, even though I know I'm never first anyway." I felt my eyes burn a little, "Jimin, even though I know I could never win, why do I continue to put myself through this? Why am I pretending to be something I'm not?" a tear had fallen from my eye when I felt Jimin's embrace.

He tried to ease my crying by patting my back, "Y/N... if this is truly getting to you, maybe it's time to let it go. Maybe it's time to end this lie. I hated to see you so upset the other night, honestly. He didn't think to put you first. And at this point, I myself don't think he will ever put you first." hearing him say that only made me sob harder. Geez even Jimin can see that I'll never win. Maybe he's right.

I sat In his embrace and I thought about what he said for a little while longer, "You're right... I need to start putting myself first. All this time for Jungkook, I've put him first. And over all the time we've been together he's never done that for me..." more tears fell from my eyes but I wiped them away.

"You know Jimin, I honestly thought I'd be his girlfriend for real someday... but, you've made me realize that it'll likely never happen." I hugged him, "Thank you for making me realize I should stop wasting my time..." I smiled through my pain looking towards him.

"I'll see myself out, goodnight Y/N." he planted a small kiss on the top of my head and exited the apartment.

I sat there on the couch lost in my own head... am I really going to end everything?

I continued to cry to myself.