Our Little Secret [Jeon Jungkook FF]

Chapter 8: I'm Done

I feel so sick to my stomach. I don't know how to feel about this, I don't know what to think... he kissed me, maybe there's a chance that he likes me back, or maybe he just caught up in the moment. My mind is racing with a thousand thoughts. What Jungkook just did was so wrong, but why did it kind of feel so right? Why is my heart racing for a kiss that should never have happened, why is there butteries in my stomach? I don't deserve to feel like this... I don't. I don't deserve to feel the slightest bit of happiness... I didn't expect any of this to happen. Why'd he do it? The ringing of my phone startled me... I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone as I answered it, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Y/N, please.... please forgive me. That shouldn't have happened. I don't know what got into me, but I do know I love Eunha with all my heart and I don't want to lose her." my heart broke into a million pieces. All the feelings I had felt from that kiss vanished. This is what I needed to hear, I'm awful... I really felt joy in such a huge mistake, one that could've torn a relationship apart.

I smiled through my pain, "Kookie... I understand alright? However, please do the same for me... this is over, forget what I said about friendship, that would bring up too many unpleasant memories for me. What's best for both of us is to never see each other ever again." I sighed, "I'm going to delete your contact so please do the same... throw away anything we've ever bought for each other, get rid of all the pictures... and promise to me we will never have to face each other again." the tears slowly fell.

The phone was silent... "Goodbye Jungkook." I scoffed, "I wish you the best." I hung up.

I stared off towards the floor, my eyes growing blurry, my vision beginning to become distorted. This is really the end now... I can't and won't ever continue to put myself through such misery. I will forever come first.

The grip on my phone continued to grow tighter... I couldn't feel that I was reaching a breaking point, "I'm done!" I unintentionally screamed out throwing my phone towards the wall. I quickly got up from the floor and went towards my bedroom and grabbed anything that would remind me of anything that's happened these last few months... the guys included. When I break this contract, I also break the relationships I've made with them.

One by one I grabbed everything that reminded me of all of them and hurled them to the floor. I don't care what I break or shatter. My life was the biggest lie... everything was a lie. I need to stop living in a fantasy and drag myself back to reality. The reality is I'm a nobody, then and now. That should have never changed. I should've minded my own damn business and walked away when I was approached on the street.

A knock on the door took me from my outburst... my heart continued to race from the adrenaline that was rushing through my body. I made it to my front door and gazed through the peephole... why can't they all just stay away and leave me alone? My eyes began to water... why does someone always have to interfere? Why are they always here for me? "Go away!" I yelled through the door, to which all their expressions shifted.

"Y/N we are not leaving until we talk to you!" Namjoon yelled back, "You better hurry up and open this door before we make you get a noise complaint!" he huffed.

I took a second to cool myself down... I can't afford to get kicked out. I hate him... I opened the door slowly and the guys all came rushing in at once.

"Y/N you look awful!" Jin yelled, "You've been crying haven't you?" he sighed as he brought me into an embrace.

I watched as the others looked towards my bedroom as I had left the door wide open, "Y/N? What did you do? Your room is a mess..." Taehyung called out as Jin let go and walked towards my bedroom door.

"They're right, Y/N what's going on?" Jin asked as he met the eyes of the others. They all wanted an explanation.

"Is this why you haven't been answering your phone? Something happened to you?" Jimin added as I stared towards where my phone laid broken.

"My phone? I didn't know you called..." I looked away.

"We all did..." Yoongi added as his eyes had finally found what I had been staring at prior. He walked over to my phone and held it up high for the others to see, "It's broken... something very serious must have happened for her to take her anger out on not only her phone but anything that has to do with all of us..." Yoongi looked towards me shooting daggers.

"You have three seconds to spill it all..." Namjoon followed with the same look.

All their eyes had locked onto mine. I feel so vulnerable... I can't look at them. I fell to my knees, they were just shaking so much that I couldn't bear to stand anymore.

"Guys..." my voice was shaking, "I can't see you guys anymore, I don't want to..." all their expressions lightened. They seemed almost speechless...