Bloodstream | Nate Jacobs

Chapter Thirty-one

Song for this chapter:  Camila Cabello- living proof

"Have you taken your pills today?" Nate questioned as he sat down one of the plastic plates down on the table in front of me with two pieces of peanut butter toast.

"No," I answered back quickly.

I glided my finger over the phone screen and shot the little monster into the attackers, this game has become more than an addiction it had consumed my life. I looked back up at the table when a glass was sat down in front of me filled half-way with milk and three pills were sat down beside it.

"You don't have to do all this for me," I sighed putting my phone down on the table.

I scooped up the pills and placed them on my tongue before the bitterness could burn at my tastebuds the little round pills were gone along with the milk that I had chugged. I picked up one of the pieces of toasts and bit into it happily. It was strange having someone who understood the little pieces of me that no one bothered to learn. And Nate had been acting extra sweet ever since last week when he was arrested.

"Of course I do. Plus it feels nice to be able to stay at your place again. Maybe we should just get a place of our own?" Nate proposed as he sat down at the table across from me.

I coughed on the dry bread that was in my mouth, the shock of his words causing me to cough. Move-in together? Did he just suggest moving in together?

"Nate. It is way too soon for any of that," I mumbled.

"I guess. But we are going to live together after graduate right?" Nate questioned.

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead," I confessed, "Aren't you going to college?"

"College sounds boring. All I want is to get far away from this place. After college wouldn't it be great if we could just move away and start a life together? We could get new friends and not have to deal with our families anymore."

"As much as that sounds lovely. It also sounds unrealistic Nate. We can't just up and disappear."

"Why not?" Nate growled. "It's not like we have anything here anyways."

"As much as our familiars aren't perfect we still need them," I argued back.

"But what about our family?" Nate protested.

"Our family?" I repeated dumbly.

"Well haven't you thought about having kids?" Nate questioned harshly. Like the question was a demand.

"No, not really. I don't think I will ever be a good mom. I'm the type of person that would end up drowning their kid in the bathtub or some shit," I expressed honestly.

A family? Nate wants a family. How the hell would that ever be possible? I guess it could be possible but who in their right minds would ever want to throw a kid into the middle of our relationship. The poor kid would turn out just like us or even worse.

"I don't think you would be," Nate countered, "I think you would be a great mother who would protect her kids at any cost. And I think you would be different from the way that your parents are you know? When it comes to having kids we really only have two choices. We can either be just like our parents or we can learn from their mistakes?"

"I suppose," I stammered.

Truthfully this wasn't a conversation that I even wanted to be having.

"I know I am a fucked-up person. And I know that I do some fucked up shit. But I want to have a family someday and I want to be the best damn dad in the world," Nate chatted openly.

I don't want to be a mother. I couldn't imagine ever being a mother but this was something that he wanted? What the hell was he talking about the future so much anyway? It was hardly nine in the damn morning. Nate really had some nerve to put this shit on me so damn early.

"I'm going to shower," I huffed, rising from the table.

"Finish your toast first," Nate scolded.

"Fuck off," I breathed. And walked straight to the bathroom without looking back.

Why was I getting so worked up over this? Fuck I hated when he treated me like a damn child.

I twisted the lock in the bathroom and stripped down out of my clothes hastily. Why was I so pissed off? I turned the shower on and climbed in under the warmth.

Children?

Family?

Moving in together?

Why was he asking such things from me? Nate knows that I am fucked up right? He knows that a family is something that I just can't bring to the table. I reached my hand up to my forehead and rubbed the skin gently under the warm water. God. All these thoughts were so frustrating. Children. Family. The words repeated in my head like a broken record. Each word became more and more real with each passing thought. And soon I was having a full-blown break down in the shower. The tears streamed down my face and my breaths were uneven and shaky. These were things that I was never going to have. I was never going to be a mother.

And I would be lying if I said that didn't fucking hurt. I was too young to be having these detrimental thoughts.

"Lily?" Nate shouted through the bathroom door.

"What?" I yelled back angrily.

"Unlock this door," Nate huffed.

"You are so fucking annoying," I snapped.

I pushed the shower door open and stepped towards the door. I hesitated for a second before untwisting the lock. The door opened quickly and Nate stopped in his tracks as I stared up at him. The water from my hair and body was already starting to pool around my feet on the floor.

"Why are you crying?" Nate sighed, "Did I upset you with all that talk?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," Nate smiled, reaching to scratch the back of his neck, "I guess I got ahead of myself."

"Idiot," I muttered banging my fist against his chest.

"Gremlin," Nate teased.

"Get out. I want to finish showering," I complained.

"Then why did you let me in then?" Nate snickered. Closing the bathroom door behind him.

"You told me too," I hissed, looking up at him with an icy stare.

"And since when have you ever been obedient?" Nate taunted.

"Fuck off," I murmured. "And get out."

"I could make you cum?" Nate suggested, licking at his bottom lip.

"Fine." I whined, "But you are only allowed to make me cum and then you have to leave."

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A/n- Sorry this chapter is fairly short and pretty uneventful just another filler chapter that I hope you all enjoy. 

Also thank you soooo much for 100K 

You guys are truly amazing.