Toe the Line

Chapter Fourteen

I approach Mr. Ferrier's desk, and he eyes me warily, "You're not going to bite my head off today, are you?"

I laugh, "No no, not today at least. I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry about Saturday. It's a long story, but I just saw someone I had hoped to never see again, and I was pretty upset about it. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, though." I pause to see his reaction. 

"Sit." He pulls up a chair to his desk. Ugh, here come the questions. "It's okay. I understand, shit happens unexpectedly sometimes. Just maybe take a cleansing breath or something next time before coming after me," he jokes. I sit down and set my stuff on the floor. "You can make it up to me by sitting here and telling me what actually happened with you and Jake, because some of what I heard has me concerned for your safety. It's my job as a faculty member to make sure there is nothing dangerous going on beneath the surface."

I sigh. "I'm surprised no one's told you actually. I thought the school put in a whole new safety protocol about it after last year." He looks concerned but still confused. "Essentially, I was in a not-so-good relationship for a few months last year. The guy," I genuinely struggle to say his name out loud. I'm so used to my friends calling him an array of colorful nicknames. "Jimmy, uh, had a lot of drug and alcohol problems, which led to him getting increasingly more aggressive towards me. He was extremely jealous, too, which didn't help. Eventually, it got so bad that I had to go to the hospital. They weren't sure I was going to make it. I lost a lot of blood." An image of my hands covered in red fluid flashes through my mind. "Two transfusions and four days later, I got back to campus and the news had gotten out. He left school immediately, and I became the talk of the school," I joke. He's clearly not amused.

"What the hell," he says disgusted. "They told me a vague version of that story, but they never mentioned his name or any details." Mr. Ferrier responds, running his fingers through his dirty blond hair.

"Yeah, well, his dad is a big donor to Abbott's. I'm talking like millions. So Daddy wrote a check, and Jimmy's name stayed out of it. Welcome to boarding school power politics!"

"I'm so sorry, Luce." Luce. Sounds especially good when he says it. "That sounds like a nightmare. You're honestly very strong for coming back here. I'm not sure I would be able to." His gaze is so strong, I struggle not to look away.

"I didn't have much of a choice." I sigh. "But this individual was at Jake's party on Saturday. It completely caught me off guard and just stirred up a lot of bad shit in my mind." I play with my ring. "And he's living with Jake right now, so that's why I was ripping Jake a new one on Saturday. I mean, he was the one who called the police that time...he saw everything firsthand because they were best friends. So I was just really hurt and confused as to why he would do that to me, especially after...everything," I cut myself off to avoid sharing the history of my love life with Mr. Ferrier.

"I would be mad, too. Furious, probably. Especially because aren't you guys together?" he asks shyly.

I can't help the laugh that bubbles out. "Me and Jake!? Oh God, no." He looks taken aback by my reaction. "Sorry, that was a little mean. But no, not even close."

"What's with the flowers then?" he asked.

"I, uhhh, I think he wishes we were together," Just say it, who cares. He's an adult, he won't be embarrassed."We, uh, this summer," I try to explain, fidgeting with my earring. "We were, um, together a bit." I blush, and he looks away, embarrassed.

"Ah, I see," he raises his eyebrows, laughing.

"Let's just say I was using him to get back at Jimmy. Not my nicest move, but I needed to feel in control somehow. But now that Jimmy's back," I stare at the desk, "I'm terrified. And god forbid he finds out about me and Jake. I actually think he would try to kill us... and yeah, I have never really told anyone this much about this." I laugh nervously, internally slapping myself for oversharing.