Callouses

To the sun, this is my comment on your life

The mistake was
It came by so fast
That's how you bring yourself
Like lightning and thunder

The rain is inevitable
Due when the night falls
The sun says hi to me too
But I hide from its grace

This is how I bring myself
I push people away
I fear their departure
Before they even came

And before I find you
Your truest genuine self
Ill take you to this rollercoaster
A whirlwind in my head

I wish it was real
Not something superficial
Something I could touch
A smile I could see

You were hot water
Your presence ease my senses
But I jumped right into you
And now my heart burns

If I'd have let you been
Left you to yourself
This poem would've came later
Maybe by the restart

I shouldn't have met you
You came too early
The sun rises at dawn
Yet here you bask in the evening

But hey, time will pass
The flame will die
And when it comes
I can look you in the eye

Ill tell you I loved you
Ill tell you I cried for you
Ill tell you I needed you
Dreamed for you
Screamed for you
Thought of you
Sang for you
Wrote for you
Prayed for you
In the art of secrecy

All of that
Just for you

But its over
Its gone now
You're my kin
And I love you

Because this time
Im here for you
Not for the feeling
But because I chose to be

This is not
A choice of the heart
You hardly make it beat
And still I stay

It takes time
To grow something beautiful
Through the storms it passed
Here it stood firm

I talked to him again
This time the feeling was gone
I'm free
November 2019