Believing In You (Blue Bloods Fanfiction)

↞ Chapter Nine ↠

Season Two, Episode Five

I greeted Idina in my usual manor, "Bonjour Idina." She smiled, standing to say hello. "How goes the French?"

"Fine, I guess." Idina sounded a bit disappointed when she spoke, and I paused. Leaning against the receptionist desk, and muttering for Kenai to sit.

"Well, that doesn't sound like excitement. What is it?" Idina sighed, shaking her head. She started to say she didn't want to bother me with it, but I was quick to speak, "I want to help, however I can."

"The pronunciation. I can't get past all of the rolling -r's and accents."

"Ah." I nodded, reaching into my inside pocket, and pull out my notepad. I attempted to make my handwriting look nice, but it wasn't as good as it could I have been. I scribbled the title of a few books down, "Here you are love. This is the best of the best when it comes to learning how to pronounce."

Idina smiled as she looked down at the list. "Thank you Detective Inspector."

I tapped the desk, taking a step back, "You are quite welcome, and I'll be around if you ever need a few pointers." I waved over my shoulder as I walked away. "Au revoir."

Idina replied the same, as I stepped into the elevator. I pressed the top floor button, patting Kenai's head as I stood there. She sat still, rubbing her head against my leg as we waited. It was a quiet ride, and I was glad for the moment to think. I knew that no matter what I happened someone wouldn't be happy. Mostly me. I couldn't stand by while the Cavazerre family did bad, when I had the chance to put a stop to them in some way.

The elevator doors slide open, and I stepped out. "Hullo." I muttered as I stepped past a few people getting on the elevator. I turned the corner, smiling at Baker as I approached her desk. "Hullo Baker. How is today?"

"I'm ready for the weekend." She said with a sigh, stacking some papers and tapping them together on her desk. I nodded, though I didn't necessarily agree. "You can go on in, he's waiting."

"Thank you Baker." I stepped to the left of her desk, walking to the double doors and opening the right side door. "Hullo Commissioner." I smiled, letting Kenai in, and standing still right inside.

"Come on in Jett." I listen, closing the door behind me, and walking to the chairs in front of his desk. He motions for me to take a seat and I do, he waits a moment before speaking. "Did you talk to OCCB?"

I sighed, leaning back. I felt Kenai's head on my lap, and I scratched at her ears as I spoke. "I wanted to talk to you first."

He pressed his mouth into a firm line, "I am not interested in breaking my own chain of command."

"And I would never asked you too." I took a deep breath. "I want to do this, but-" I considered what I was going to say, "The last time I was undercover, it lasted two years. I lost so much during that time. My friends, my aunt thought I had died, my-" I paused, "My relationship was squashed. Every person that meant something to me in my life forgot about me. I can't have that happen again."

I didn't look at Frank as I spoke, something about all of this made me sad. I hadn't talked about my undercover in a longtime. When I re-entered society after, I was in therapy, I talked to her and that was it. People understood that the work I did was for every good reason in the book, but I knew they couldn't forget the missed anniversaries, parties, weddings. I wasn't as welcomed back as I would have preferred, and it led to a change in location, a new partner, a new everything.

"I don't know what to say Jett." Frank spoke earnestly, leaning forward and smiling sadly. "It's your choice, and I am not going to say anything to get you either way."

"I feel like there's a 'but'." I muttered, looking up at Frank with a grimace.

"What do you want to do?"

I didn't have to think about it. "I wish I could go back, not go to the park. Not answer Renzuli's call. Not go to the bar. Not call the ambulance after he OD'd. Never take his call." I leaned back, watching as Kenai laid down, her head balanced on my feet.

"And that is not an option. What is your next step?" Frank answered honestly, and I nodded.

I hesitated before speaking. "Step up." Frank nodded, and I rolled my shoulder, tilting my head as Frank formed his words.

"Then you know what you need too do." I inclined my head as I stood, starting towards the door. Frank followed, flaring his jacket and sticking his hands into his pockets. I started to leave, but paused, turning back to Frank.

"Frank. Can this stay between the pair of us?" Frank narrowed his eyes, waiting for me to explain. "I'll tell Danny, when I need too. When it starts to effect my work, but I don't want Jameson to know. At least not yet."

"I don't know if that is-"

"Wise." I interrupted. "I know. I just, I don't want Jameson to worry prematurely. I don't want him to be scared that he's going to loose me, when he isn't. He will never lose me."

"And that is what I want to hear." Frank smiled, stepping around his desk and extending his hand to me. I take it, starting to shake it, but he pulls me to him, hugging me firmly, I smile accepting the hug before stepping back.

"Thank you, Commissioner." I respond, Frank straightened his back, nodding to me.

"Thank you Detective Inspector."

I left the office with a feeling of satisfaction in doing the right thing. I was still afraid of what was too come, but I felt more confident with the Commissioner on my side of things. Baker was on the phone as I walked by her desk, so I simply waved as I passed.

I stepped into the elevator, pulling out my second phone, and dialing Noble's number. He didn't answer, and I wasn't sure if I was happy about it or not. "This is Noble. You know the drill." The beep sounded, and I spoke with a casual tone.

"Hey Noble, Alvie. I moved that thing around. I'd love to join you tomorrow night. Leave me a message with the when and where." I hung up just as I reached the first floor, and just as I stepped out my personal phone started to ring, and I sighed as I answered.

"Howards."

"Yeah, Detective. I got news." Renzuli spoke with his usual Brooklyn accent, and I readied myself for whatever he was about to say. "That dug dealer, from last week, he's in the hospital. Some guy in a mask beat him up. He's in a coma, and doesn't look like he's gonna make it."

I thanked the Sargent before hanging up. I left One PP, getting into my car as quickly as possible, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away from the curb. I rested my head on my steering wheel, Kenai rested her head on the arm rest in between the two of us. I set my hand on her head.

I lifted my head, turning to her and muttering under my breath. "I hope that I am doing the right thing."