Life as the Akatsuki's Maid

~Chapter 9: 1 year of hell-I mean Akatsuki~

Damn its been FOREVER since I updated... And most of this chapter was written on my phone too... ;~; how the mighty have fallen.... Anyway. Cx IM UPDATING!!
Hidan: ABOUT FUCKING TIME BITCH!!
>.> just for that you're not showing up in today's chapter.
Hidan: WHAAAAT YOU CAN'T DO THAT BITCH IM THE MOST IMPORTANT!
^.^ happy hidan-less reading~
Hidan: FUUUUUUU

|\/| START |\/|

Well damn, I've been with there knuckle heads for almost a whole year. My, how time passes....
Sasori got killed last week. Deidara isn't taking it too well. He's a lot more temperamental that usual and snaps at anyone who comes near him. Every few hours there's a loud explosion that echoes through the otherwise silent hideout. Kakuzu, for once, is letting it slide about the possible damage Dei could be causing, and the monetary value of the cave he could be wrecking.
Everyone's been eerily quiet since Sasori's death. Even Tobi is a bit less overzealous, though it might be because instead of their usual playing around whenever Dei gets pissed at Tobi, Dei literally tries to kill him. It's more terrifying than funny now.
Pain has hardly left his office, and whenever Konan isn't bringing him a meal he missed or some scroll that he requested, she's sitting on the roof watching the world and folding an occasional rose from paper.
My training was going well before Sasori died. He had been teaching me about poisons and puppets, or as I called them, the 2 P's.
A few months ago I finally started to manage to fly Dei's bird WITHOUT crashing it into a wall. Kakuzu's wallet was happy with me.
Itachi doesn't seen to be doing well. Late at night I can hear him coughing and when I go to check on him, I see blood. I know his final battle must be coming soon... And that makes me sad. I've gotten really attached to him. So has Sasuke. Sometimes Sasuke even deserts me during the night and goes to Itachi and Kisame's room to sleep with the weasel. I pretend to be hurt but I don't really mind-

I open my eyes and sit up, looking at my door as it opens and a figure pads into my room. "Jeez, I was having a flashback. Only jerks intrude when someone's have a flashback."
The figure doesn't respond and I sigh. Deidara.
Once the light hits his form I can see he's in bad shape. His eyes are slightly red and swollen with deep circles under them. His clothes are messy, and his nails are chipping. His hair is down and dirty, tangle every which way.
"Dei..." I frown and pat my bed, motioning for him to sit with me.
He doesn't move, instead speaking in a dull monotone. "Akatsuki meeting. Pain's office. 5 minutes."
With those 6 words he turns and walks out. I won't lie that hurt, not even a nod of greeting... I wish I could do something to cheer him up.

Five minutes later I'm in Pain's office with the others.

"As i am sure you're all aware," Pain began in his usual monotone, "the Leaf and Sand are pursuing us even as I speak."

We all stayed silent, all avoiding the dreaded second subject we all knew Pain would be addressing soon... Deidara's partner, or lack there of.

Clearing his throat, something Pain never does, he slowly started to speak. "In regards to you, Deidara..."

Said Shinobi didn't look up from his hands where, we all figured he was making yet another clay sculpture.

"Sasori's ring was retrieved earlier this morning by-"

"TOBI-SAN GOT IT! TOBI-SAN GOT THE RING! TOBI-SAN IS A GOOD BOY AND NOW TOBI-SAN WILL BE DEIDARA'S GOOD BOY PARTNER!"

I assume I don't have to say who said that? Good.

Needless to say, shortly after that we would all have been decimated if we weren't totally amazing ninjas that can hop away like little blurs and escape danger.... because Deidara blew up Pain's office. We all decided it was time to change hideouts again after that...

Now all I can wonder is how the hell Deidara wont kill Tobi in the next week. A whole year for this?? I hope they don't remeber my birthday... dear god. After seeing how much they like to go all out, I'm honestly scared to see what they'll do.

|\/| END |\/|

Hidan: YOU SERIOUSLY DIDNT EVEN MENTION ME WTF?!

I told you I wouldnt. ^.^

Hidan: MOTHER F*****!!!!

0,0 UNTIL NEXT TIME!! STAY SEXY LOVES! *runs for life*

Hidan: B****!!!! *runs after with his scythe* ILL F****** SACRIFICE YOU TO LORD F****** JASHIN!

Ghost Sasori: *Sweat drop*