The Stag and The Frog - (GendryxMeera GOT fanfic) Part 1: Alone

7: I'm scared too

Gendry sat on the dock outside the castle watching the sunset. He was warmer now, after getting some dry clothes and some warm food. Sunsets in the Neck were more beautiful than anywhere else in the kingdom. It glowed in orange and red as the sun made its way towards the horizon. But Gendry was in no mood to take in the beauty of it.

Because he was alone. A lonely man walking a lonely path. And no matter what he did, regardless if he succeeded or not, it always came back to that. He had no one to share his failures or successes with.

Lord Reed had regaled him with stories about Robert Baratheon during their dinner. Gendry's father. But he didn't feel like the man in the stories was his father. It was all just stories, stories that could have been about anyone. Gendry didn't feel like he belonged in those stories. It wasn't his life, it wasn't his family, it wasn't his story.

And he couldn't help thinking about Arya, no matter how much he tried not to. He was angry at her, angry that she had left him to do this all on his own. She had said she would be his family once. But she hadn't kept her promise. So now he was alone.

But he wouldn't be alone much longer.

Because that's when she sat down next to him. Lady Meera Reed. That's when everything changed.

She didn't look as intimidating as before. Hopefully she wasn't about to show him any more of the dangers of the swamp. The sinkholes and the leeches were enough for him.

"Sorry if I was careless with you earlier. I wasn't trying to kill you.", she said.

It did sound like she meant it. Like she actually regretted taking him along such a treacherous path.

"It's alright. I'll live."

"You looked scared, you still do."

He was scared. He was scared all the damn time. But he had hoped no one would notice, that he would be able to hide it. He was scared of everything that it entailed being a lord. And of leeches of course.

"I'm not scared of you.", he replied.

"Then what are you scared of Lord Baratheon?"

That name still sounded so foreign to him. Would it ever feel like his name? Lord. Baratheon. He had never thought he would be either of those things.

"Please, call me Gendry. That's the only name I've ever known."

"Then what are you scared of Gendry?"

"Being a lord. That I won't be any good at it. That I won't be enough. I've only been a lord for a few days and now I'm here, leading an army, stealing them from a ruling queen, trying to negotiate with lords, marching to take a castle I've never been to. It's all too much. I'm scared I will let people down. That I will get people killed."

He sighed at his own incompetence and inability to hide his fears and then added with a slight smile.

"And I'm scared of leeches."

She smiled back at him as he said that. She didn't seem intimidating at all when she smiled. And she inched a bit closer to him on the dock.

"So what were you before you were a lord? Who were you a few days ago?"

"I was the same man as I am now. I just didn't have a last name or a title. I worked as a blacksmith. I forged weapons and armor. I was good at it. I'm not sure I'm good at whatever I'm doing now."

She gripped his left hand, the one that was closest to her. She turned it so that is palm was facing up, revealing burns and scars from years of grueling labor.

"I knew you weren't born a lord.", she said as she looked at his hand. "As soon as you held up your hands I knew. Because these aren't the hands of a lord. That's why I was suspicious of you. I thought someone was trying to play a trick on us."

He was amused at the thought of him ever being able to play any tricks on this girl. Or on anyone really.

"Then they are playing that trick on me too. I hope you believe I am who I say I am now."

"I do. I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier. My father told me about your conversation. About how he knew your father. I believe you. And I will help you lead your men away from here, as my father promised."

She still had her hand around his wrist. And she didn't let go. Instead, her fingers moved down towards his palm. She clasped her hand around his.

He was taken by surprise. But he liked feeling her hand in his.

"I'm scared too", she said.

There was a vulnerability in her voice that hadn't been there before. A tremble. And as he looked into her eyes he saw the fear she spoke of. She had seemed to him like this force of nature that wasn't scared of anything. But of course, she was scared of things too. Everyone's scared of something.

"What scares you, Lady Reed? You don't seem like the type that scares easily."

She smiled slightly as he said this. But the fear was still there in her eyes.

"You can call me Meera, Gendry."

"Meera it is."

She looked straight ahead, into the water. As he glanced at her face he almost thought he saw tears in her eyes.

"I'm scared to lose what I have left. My home and my father. That's all I have. I lost my brother. I lost everyone else I cared about. Up north. I can't lose anything else. But I'm not sure we can defend ourselves if someone comes for us. We're too few, too unimportant."

He squeezed her hand lightly as she said this. He felt her squeeze back.

"I'm sorry Lady... Meera. About your brother, and the others. I promised your father I would try to protect him and you if I can. But I don't know what I can do."

"You don't need to do anything. Just don't let go. Just sit here with me. That's enough."

He interlaced his fingers with hers to secure her hand in his. To show that he wouldn't let go.

"I won't," he said.

She leaned her shoulder lightly against his.

"I won't either," she said.

He didn't let go. He didn't want to. Her hand was soft and warm against his still cold hand.

She didn't let go either. She also didn't want to. His hand was so cold against hers. She felt the urge to warm it.

They sat together and watched the sunset. The sun turned blood orange over the horizon and then the red light lingered as the sun disappeared behind the trees. It was a beautiful sunset, he could see that now.

They didn't need to speak. They didn't need to tell each other their whole stories. It was enough to know that they were not alone. It was enough to feel someone else's hand in theirs.

It wasn't about romance, not there and then. Not yet. It was about comfort and distraction. To think about something else than how scared they were. To not feel alone for just a moment.

It was only a moment. A moment of two people finding someone else feeling the same thing as themselves. An innocent moment of connection. But that moment would eventually come to change the course of the kingdom. It would make kings rise and fall.