The Stag and The Frog - (GendryxMeera GOT fanfic) Part 1: Alone

12: Daring to dream

Gendry had dared to dream once. Of a better life. It was before everything. When he was still a boy. At the anniversary of Robert Baratheon's rise to the throne. Gendry's father. Of course, he didn't know that then.

The anniversary was a holiday for all the working people in King's Landing. The king had given them all one day of rest from work, one day of respite from their cruel reality. That one day Gendry had been able to sleep in as long as he wanted before getting up. He had sat on a roof looking at the parade through the streets. Hot Pie had been with him. His one friend. They had seen the king, the queen, and their children.

After the parade was over they had managed to get their hands on some leftover pies from Hot Pie's mother's pie stand. Yesterday's pies but they were still good. They had a whole bag full of them, and they had eaten until they almost threw up. It was rare at that time that Gendry could even eat enough to make him full. But that day he did.

They had gone down to the harbor. They had sat on a rock overlooking the bay. On the water were bonfires in celebration of the anniversary. They had sat there eating their pies. They had also managed to loot a half-full bottle of wine from a passed out merchant. The boys had never drunk wine before but that night they did. They didn't have a lot of it but it was enough to make them unusually joyful. They had talked about their dreams. Usually, people didn't talk about dreams in Flea Bottom, because no one wanted to admit to having dreams. All there was, and would ever be, was work and suffering.

"Gendry, when I grow up I'm gonna have the biggest bakery. Bigger than anything you've ever seen. I gonna bake so many pies. The biggest pies anyone's ever seen. It's gonna make me rich. Rich enough to buy a castle. Not a huge castle like the king's maybe, but a castle still."

"What you gonna do with a castle? You ever saw a baker living in a castle? You might have your bakery, you might bake huge pies. But that's not gonna get you a castle. Only lords live in castles. It's not for us."

"You don't want a castle?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I can't have it. But all I really want is a home to call my own. It's all I need. A small cottage away from this city. With a forge outside so I can make weapons. A cute girl to be my wife. Somewhere where I can be my own man. Not serving under any master. That's what I dream of. I don't dream of castles."

That was the only time Gendry had ever dared to dream.

***

A cottage was what he had dreamt of. When he even dared to dream. And now he stood there, in front of his own castle.

He walked through the gates to his castle. He did it alone. He left Devan and the armies waiting outside while he entered. He needed to do this alone. He needed to experience it all by himself.

The castle was empty and quiet. The tower in the middle was so high he could barely see the top of it. He went up to the tower and put his hand on one of the stones that made up its walls. The rock was cold and rough against his hand. As he stood there tears started streaming down his face.

He couldn't quite understand what he was feeling himself. It was all so surreal. But the cold rock against his hand reminded him that it was real. He was here in his own castle, and he was touching it. He felt relief. He felt confidence. He felt like he finally belonged somewhere. And he for the first time felt a connection to his father. Because he was touching the same wall that his father had once touched. The same wall that generations of his family had touched before him. He was finally part of something bigger than him. He stayed there for a moment while the tears kept streaming. He exhaled, for the first time in weeks it felt like.

He could feel their presence here, the Baratheons. They had lived here and they had died here. Now they were all gone. Except for him. The bastard son. Making his grand return to no one.

He sunk down on his knees and cried, still holding his hand on the rocks of the tower. Of course he had known they were all gone, but it all became so apparent now. There was no one there to welcome him except for the rock wall. He had found his family, but they were all gone.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Devan. His friend. The smuggest most self-assured man in the kingdom. But he didn't look smug now, he looked compassionate.

"Too much, Lord Baratheon?"

"Too much indeed, Devan. And I've told you to call me Gendry. I just never dreamt of... anything, really. And now I got a castle. A damn castle."

Instead of coming with a snarky remark or witty comment Devan gave Gendry a hug. When it came down to it Devan was his father's son, he knew what meant something. He knew when to shut up. They embraced for a moment of realization and celebration of what they had done. They were there. They had done it.

"Forgive me for acting like a moron most of the time but I can't stop myself," Devan said. "I haven't known you for that long but you already feel like a brother to me. And I act like a moron towards my brothers."

"I never had a brother. But I always wished I had one. You will do, Dev."

Gendry smiled at Devan, his new annoying little brother, and gave him a nudge on the shoulder. Like brothers did. Maybe there was a family for him to find here after all.

He felt lighter now that he had actually accomplished something. He wasn't just a lord by name anymore, he was a lord by action. Nothing could take that away from him. No matter what would happen. Right now this was his castle. Right now this was his dream.