The Stag and The Frog - (GendryxMeera GOT fanfic) Part 1: Alone

21: Finding something

"I believe this is what your brother died for, it's what was meant to happen. This is what it was all for. For Bran to be king."

Those were Howland's words as he told Meera about the decision that had been made. She tried to hide her horrified reaction as well as she could and only nodded in reply. But inside of her a feeling of dread was bubbling, trying to make its way out. She felt nauseous and queasy.

This was what her brother had died for. But this was not what he would have wanted to die for. She knew that. Jojen didn't knowingly die for the kingdom to be taken over by whatever entity now inhabited Bran's body. Because her brother had been good, and she knew that the entity wasn't.

Something else also worried her. Something else her father had told her about the decisions that had been made. Something that could put her home in danger.

"If the North secedes from the kingdom, what happens to us?" she asked. "We're right on the border."

"We stay as part of the kingdom, " her father replied. "I believe it's the right thing to do, that we serve under the king your brother sacrificed himself for."

"But what if the other houses around us don't agree? There might be a war for the border. They might want to erase us altogether."

Their lands weren't big and they didn't have many men, if the other houses wanted to take them out it would be easy to do so. She knew that and her father knew that. The only reason they still remained was that they had always had backing from the Starks in the North. Therefore his new situation felt very precarious to her. No matter who, or what, was king.

"The new king will protect us," her father replied. "After what you, and your brother, did for him he must do so."

She could only nod as she fought to hold back her tears. She knew he wouldn't. He would not protect them. He wouldn't protect anyone.

He, whoever he was, had planned this. He had told her that she would know soon enough what it was all for. She knew now. And she knew it wasn't good, it wasn't right, it wasn't what her brother would have wanted.

Meera sat down on her bed in the tent and rested her arms on her knees, hiding her face behind them. Trying to take it all in. Pondering what she could do, if there was anything she could do.

She should have told her father. She should have told someone. But it was too late now. It would only hurt Howland if she told him now. And she didn't want to hurt her father. She didn't want him to hurt as she did.

Sensing that something wasn't right with her Howland sat down next to Meera and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Meera, is there something you aren't telling me?" he asked. "About what happened up there in the North? About your brother?"

Meera nodded slightly, barely aware herself that she did. But she couldn't stop her head from moving. The truth wanted to come out. But it couldn't.

"I can't tell you," she said. "I just can't, father. I'm sorry..."

Howland didn't say anything in reply. Instead, he put her arms around Meera and held her for a moment. She felt tears starting to fall as he did. He patted her lightly on the head before letting go of her.

"You don't have to tell me, Meera," he said. "I'm sure there's a reason why you can't. But tell someone. Because it seems to be troubling you so much to hold it in. And I hate to see you troubled. And I hope you will tell me one day."

"I will," she said as she tried drying her tears with the sleeve of her jacket."I will tell you one day. But I need to figure this out myself first."