catch-22.

⭐ twenty-four ⭐

Taehyung can't get his earlier conversation with Hoseok out from his head.

He wishes he knew what the older boy was on about, but it's kind of hard pinpointing what Hoseok tells people since Hoseok rarely ever explains himself.

He could go up to Hoseok and force the older boy to tell Taehyung what he meant with his words during that heart to heart lunch time conversation they had, but it'd be quite pointless.

So, Taehyung sighs and lets it go, making up his own different alternate universes of what came after those words.

He hasn't spoken to Namjoon a lot lately (though the older boy keeps coming out in his dreams with messy green hair and dark lined eyes).

And it's not like as if Namjoon was seeking him out either. Namjoon has sent a few messages here and there, some about a few spontaneous dates he's gone with Seokjin, others about updates from his favorite artists.

Taehyung tries to act as if nothing were wrong, as if his heart wasn't breaking apart, leaving tiny shattering pieces of it flowing through his lungs and cutting his most inner sensitive areas every time he read a message about how Seokjin was such a gentleman.

For the most part Taehyung pretends that everything's fine. And that's where the problem lies. He's so sick and tired of all this heart ache and how his body feels heavy every time he has to fake his smiles and enthusiasm for Namjoon and Seokjin.

He's ashamed and guilty to admit that he feels anger and something close to hatred burning up inside of him every time he catches glimpses of Namjoon and Seokjin walking down the hallway together.

God, it makes everything inside him curl into itself, tiny shreds of thorns arising from those particles of hate and jealousy – he can't stand seeing the way Namjoon and Seokjin hold hands in the hallway.

It doesn't help that the entire school seem to have finally caught up to the budding romance happening between the most popular Senior at their school and the boy no one even knew existed.

It makes the blazing fire become a dangerous roar, makes him sick to his stomach and want to yell out that he knew Namjoon before all of them.

He befriended Namjoon, told him to find the courage within himself, told him to believe in himself, and he completely fell in love with him. (Which is so pathetic beyond words, Taehyung hates himself for it).

"Did you hear about Seokjin-hyung and the pretty boy?"

His name is Kim Namjoon, Taehyung wants to shout at the girl who sits two seats in front of him in his biology class.

"What the hell is up with that new couple? Who cares if Seokjin-hyung is dating that weird kid?"

No. Who cares about Seokjin-hyung. And that weird kid – his name is Kim Namjoon and he's the most beautiful human being to have ever graced this planet. Taehyung wants to yell out at the boy in his History class, wants to punch the laugh out of the other boy who had laughed.

"His name is Kim Namjoon. He's really cute, right?"

I knew him before you did! He wants to scream, he's mine Minemineminemine!

But Taehyung does none of that, instead he slumps further into his desk and attempts to block out all the gossiping the students have.

Not a single person has mentioned anything about Taehyung – no one in the student body seems to have found out it was Taehyung who brought them together.

He's not sure whether he's grateful for that or to feel bitter that he's become something non-existent between the new golden couple of the school.

And man, does that sentence piss Taehyung even more.

The new golden couple of the school.

From Taehyung's knowledge, Namjoon hasn't properly asked out Seokjin to be his boyfriend and Seokjin hasn't done that either.

Jeez! The most either of them have done in front of anyone is hand holding. That's not even considered "dating." Right?

Right?

"Yeah, I heard they've been dating in secret for months now. They're super cute boyfriends!" One of the girl's squeal, angering Taehyung even more.

"You know," Taehyung suddenly blurts out, "They aren't actually dating. They're not even boyfriends!"

He's said that too loud. Everyone has turned to look at him – faces blurry and looking at him like he's gone crazy.

And hell!

Maybe he has!

Who wouldn't lose their mind after they befriended a boy to prove a stupid point which no one cared about, who wouldn't get lost within the ugly thoughts in their mind when they've fallen in love with a boy far from their reach, who wouldn't go mad when their best friend is hinting at something that gives him hope (so much hope, hope, hope, hopehopehope)? Of course, Taehyung has gone crazy!

"Whatever man," And they all turn to look away, going back to their own conversations in whispers now, hoping the weird and loud kid in class won't freak out on them again.

It makes Taehyung realize. He's not much different than his classmates, than the rest of the school.

All of them rushing towards Seokjin's and Namjoon's friendship – relationship, whatever!

He didn't even know who Namjoon was a few months ago, he'd only noticed him when he saw the way he kept staring at Seokjin.

And now.

Now, it's Taehyung who watches from afar.

Beneath large hoodies and airpods playing loud music.

He hides behind doorways and crowds to catch glimpses of Namjoon.

And even though he's friends with Namjoon – he's never felt further from him than now. 

a/n; hope u guys like the new update :)) omg btw, thank u for making this number 5 in the vmon tag, ur all amazing 💓💓