catch-22.

⭐ twenty-six ⭐

"You know," Yoongi starts, making Taehyung snap out of his thoughts and jump in startlement. "I'm really scared."

What?

Taehyung blinks at Yoongi, baffled at that sentence. Taehyung knows everyone has fears, he's scared of the creepy girl from The Grunge and Hoseok is afraid of snakes and Namjoon is afraid of failure – but hearing Yoongi (who always seems so confident and sure of himself) express that he is scared, that changes Taehyung's entire perspective in life.

He's also really confused that Yoongi dropped the Namjoon subject, he thought that this eating late lunch together was supposed to be about that.

"You're scared." Yoongi nods, staring at the receipt as if it had all the answers to the world (maybe it does, who knows with Yoongi's mind). "Of what?"

Yoongi doesn't answer, the silence between them still and unmoving as if the world had slowed down to a complete stop for them. Finally, Yoongi looks up, his eyes a little sad, a little tired, a little heart broken.

"I got accepted into SNU."

That's it. That's what Yoongi's afraid of? He doesn't get it, Yoongi is supposed to be happy, proud, bragging it around that he got accepted to South Korea's top university.

"Hyung!" Taehyung jumps in excitement, "That's great! Your mom and dad must be so proud of you, oh my god! I'm proud of you and so must Hobi-hyung."

Yoongi snorts, his lips turned downwards though. There is a sadness pulling at his shoulders, carrying a weight that pulls him further down until he'll disappear.

Taehyung isn't sure why Yoongi isn't excited, he got accepted to Seoul National University – jeez, his best friend is a genius!

"They are. But." Yoongi licks his lips, "Hoseok doesn't know."

One of the workers interrupts them by bringing their food over, handing them their boba and telling them to enjoy their meal and call them if they need anything.

"What do you mean Hoseok-hyung doesn't know? You haven't told him?"

Yoongi picks a nacho up, dipping it in the vegan cheese and guacamole. "No."

Taehyung takes a sip from his boba, the mango one is really good. "Why not?"

Yoongi sighs, placing his elbow on the table and resting his cheek on his palm. "Because, I'm rejecting it."

That makes the boba pearl get stuck in Taehyung's throat, making him choke. "Why are you not going to accept attending SNU, hyung! That's – that's absurd!"

Yoongi looks down at the plate, grabbing another chip. "I don't want to leave Hoseok behind. He's gonna want to," He pauses there, as if he were physically hurting to say the next few words, "He knows how much it means to mean to attend SNU, I've been dreaming of going there ever since they opened their music program and became one of the best in the country. And I – I don't want to leave Hoseok because I know he's going to want to break up so I can go after my dream."

. . .

"He's not – He's not gonna break up with you." Taehyung's voice is a whisper, getting carried away with the Korean R&B playing the background, but it must have been loud enough for Yoongi to hear.

His lips are quivering and Taehyung can feel his throat tighten up, because he knows that what he said is a lie. Hoseok will want Yoongi to chase his dreams – even if it means letting him go.

"You know how university gets Tae, you've seen the college students. Your older brother, he barely goes and visits you and your family. No one has any time for anything during college, everyone is just worried about passing classes and getting connections." Yoongi sighs defeated, slumping over his chair and swirling his drink around. "I don't want to lose Hobi. He means everything to me. More than my own future."

Taehyung gulps. Wow. He's going to cry any minute now.

"So what are you planning on doing?"

Yoongi grabs another chip, "I told my parents I wasn't going to attend. And Hoseok will never find out. We'll figure out the rest when Hoseok graduates."

"You're going to drop your dreams and wait for Hobi-hyung instead?" Taehyung accuses Yoongi angrily. He feels frustrated, what is Yoongi doing! "Hoseok-hyung deserves to know. He's supported you for so many years hyung, he won't break up with you, he'll find a way to make sure you're both together," Taehyung's grasping at any straws, trying to reason with Yoongi, "It's unfair that you believe Hoseok-hyung will abandon you. He – He wouldn't do that."

But Yoongi seems to have attached himself to that anger rolling off from Taehyung, eyes blurry and cheeks pink. "He's going to want to say good-bye Taehyung. Ever think about how we say good-bye when we don't ever want to see that person again or when we know we won't seem them ever! No one says good-bye unless it means 'I'm never seeing you again, am I?' And he's going to say that."

Yoongi takes a sip from his drink, glaring at Taehyung for a few seconds before his shoulders drop tiredly. "He'll say good-bye and it'll be the end of it."

The two customers get up and throw their trash away, waving warmly at the workers in the front. The pale yellow sunshine has turned a golden yellow, tiny particles of dust flowering around like fairies.

Taehyung picks at the guacamole with a chip, he doesn't know how to answer to that.

"C'mon, we'll take this to-go and pick up Hobi."

Taehyung nods, rushing from his chair and out the door. He waits for Yoongi, old anger and frustration eating him up.

"Don't tell Hoseok, Taehyung-ah. He can't find out." Yoongi is looking straight into his eyes, Taehyung's heart cracks a little more.

"I promise."

Yoongi looks at him for a long moment before nodding his head. He carries the plastic bag and his boba. "Hoseok is waiting for us, so we should hurry up."

And the conversation about their argument ends there, left forgotten in the café.