(chapter 11) (ending)

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I sink in my seat, stomach feeling a little weird from last night, but I shake it off and continue looking out the small window next to me. “___? You ok?” I look over at Chris and nod, “I’m fine just kind of tired….” I shrug looking down at my hands, “Alright, but if you want to talk let me know.” I smile at his comment and wrap an arm around his shoulders to hug him, then look out my window. I close my eyes only to see Jeff’s charcoal ones in return, the eyes that looked as if they finally found some light….the ones he looked at me with last night. I blink my eyes open for a moment only to have them flutter closed again, from how tired I am. ‘Yeah, I was. ___ I love you, don’t forget that.’ I can hear his deep voice, his warm breath grazing my neck, those words…..‘I love you, I love you…..I love you…..’ They reply like a broken record…..last night felt so right, I had the strongest feeling I’d stay, but when I woke up it was like that offer was never made. I feel dirty….I gave him my virginity, but at the same time I stole his…..I sigh opening my eyes again. Sleeping will be so hard now…..I just now it.
    The plane landed in L.A a day later at midnight and everyone got off, including the boys and me. “Wow…..look at the lights!” I smile tilting my head up high seeing the tall buildings covered in glistening snow, and bright lights. “Ah man! This was so worth it!” Chris cheers taking hold of my hand, “It sure was!” Lewis agrees walking over and taking my other hand. I look up to the sky, only to meet with emptiness. I was always told by people who lived in big fancy cities like this that the stars were the only thing you’d have to let go of. They were right. Not even the brightest of all of them was seeable. “Let’s go get a hotel for now you guys. I’m freezing and tired…..” I mention breaking the two out of their gazes. “Right! Let’s go then.” Lewis grins, while we pick up our suitcases, and head for a smaller sized building with the words ‘Hotel’ written on a huge sign. “Whoa~ Talk about luxury!” Christopher says turning in a circle to see everything the hotel had to offer, “No doubt!” Lewis agrees then goes up to the front desk and talks to the lady behind it.
    Twenty minutes later we got a large room, and took the elevator to the forth floor, which it the very top. We walked around the sweet smelling room, seeing a huge flat screen T.V, A master bathroom, and two king sized beds. “I feel like a princess….” I giggle running my fingers over the clean items in the room. “I call dibs to sleep in ___’s bed!” Chris cheers, then flings himself into one of the two neatly made beds. Lewis’s face turn into a horrified one hearing Chris’s demands. “Nu-nu-nu, I don’t think so. If anyone’s sharing a bed with her it’s ME!” He walks over to his chocolate haired friend, fists clenched tightly. “Pfft….” They glare at each other. “H-hey! There will be no fighting! Either you two share a bed like you should, or I-” “We’ll flip a coin.” Lewis interrupts reaching in his pocket. “How immature.” I roll my eyes very unpleased with his action. The coin was flipped, and Chris wins. “Heh, heh!” The brunette chuckles, kicking off his shoes, and laying back on the bed. “Whatever.” Lewis frowns, standing up and heading to his case to unpack.
    Around one o’clock, we were pretty much set up, so after Chris and I finished our showers, we climbed into bed. I picked up a book of mine and started read, while Lewis went in to take his shower. “___?” Chris calls pulling me from my book, “’Sup cracker?” I smile down at him, “Did you ever think we’d become friends after I was so mean to you?” “No actually….I thought you’d always be the jerk you were then….I mean you still kinda are but, not as bad.” I giggle moving a piece of hair out of his face. “Gee thanks.” We laugh with each other as I set my book down and pick up a wrapped present. “Here.” I hold it out to him, “What is this?” “Just open it. Marry Christmas Eve Christopher.” He raises a brow taking the gift from my hand, then opens it. “Is this?” “Yeah…..” I smile softly tilting my head to see his face, “The snow glob from forever ago…..” He breaths “I figured I owed you a new one since I broke the last one!” I laugh kissing his cheek, “___…..” He looks up at me then smiles. “Thank you. You’ll get your gift tomorrow.” He leans up claiming my lips, and cups my face, “I love you ___…..” He sighs before quickly turning the lights off, and going to sleep. I sit stunned at his words before slowly sliding into sleep, ‘You can’t speak those words to me……please don’t…..’ I think before finally completely falling asleep.
    Two years after that Chris and I got engaged, while Lewis was excepted into his college, and found himself a very kind hearted, and pretty Russia girlfriend. Chris got a job as a film producer for horror movies like he wanted, and I was asked many, many times to come in and do the special effect makeup, which I gladly did, and soon after that, it was my permanent job. However the two years weren’t all fun and games and good luck. The roughest part of it all was a year ago, when father was sent to the hospital and got some sort of amnesia. Forgetting everything, even me. I’d visit him, and it got better, but he had a heart attack two days before he was aloud to leave the hospital. He died an hour later. I miss him so much, but knowing him and mom are together is what pushes me to keep going. I have to stay strong for them. I have to.
    A year passed after that. I hurry down the stairs to get into the taxi waiting for me outside. I don’t wish to be late for work, since they called me in really early today. It’s about four in the morning but this wouldn’t be the first time. I fix my hair and close the car door, getting into the back seat of the taxi. The driver starts up and goes down the stairs. The lights fly by against the velvety black morning sky slowly rocking me to a sleep. I try so hard to stay awake but fail and shut my eyes into a blank dream. They’re all I’ve had since I got to L.A but I never thought much of it.
    The car bumps and I open my eyes to start hearing Lawrence’s voice go on and on about whatever it was he was talking about before I drifted off. I felt like I really relived my life in that dream I just had…..It all felt real but it all happened five years ago…..I’m in a taxi heading down Bio St. back to my old house. “So can you believe that? Ah, anyways, I’ve been rambling on. Tell me, what brings you back?” He asks looking in the rear view mirror. “What? Oh- Um….I heard the place has been for sell for a while, but no ones bought it. So I thought I’d drop by and see the old thing before I head back to the town next to this one with Chris to go and pick out decorations for our wedding.” I explain, looking at the passing houses before stopping in front of my old home. Memories float back slowly just seeing it. Going in isn’t the best idea but I really want to over come these feelings, “Thanks for the ride Lawrence! Tell the Mrs. I say hi!” He smiles as I get out. “Do you want me to wait here?” “No that’s ok! Thanks though!” He nods before heading off. I take a deep breath before pushing the large wooden door open. A feeling over comes me and tears stream down my face. “Suck it up ___. You’re stronger then this!” I whisper to myself then wipe the tears away and walk in. It feels how it did so long ago, nothings changed. Nothing. I walk through hearing the wooden boards below my feet creak with ever step. The feeling of fear and sadness fades away as I remember all the happy times here. I grew up here. This is my home and always will be. I smile looking at the couch, the kitchen, and the stairs. I take one last look around the downstairs before going up and stopping in front of my room. “This is it….” I say aloud, turning the knob and opening the door. “Just as I left it.” I nod at my words, knowing nothing was going to be different. The first thing I do is run over to the window and open it, looking out towards the woods. The trees are thicker, and it’s much darker. That’s the only thing I can pick that’s different. My breath catches in my throat when I hear the door to my room shut and lock. I calm myself listening closely.
    “No one is welcomed into this house.” A deep raspy voice speaks, it sounds so hostile…..like the mercy it once had was ripped clean out, “Go to sleep.” It breaths, followed by the sounds of movement on the creaky floor. I grab all the courage I can feel and turn my head to the man in a white hoodie, standing next to me, head down to stare at the floor, knife raised high. “Is the house really that dear to you? Even though the one you loved isn’t in it anymore?” I say turning to fully face him. He drops the knife, while is head shoots up. Sharp, broken, and blood shot eyes meet my (E/C) ones. His face is badly scratched up, is hoodie ripped in many places revealing old flesh wounds, and a once cut smile, now stitched closed at the edges. “Dwelling over a lost only makes things harder.” I say softly never breaking the gaze, even to blink. “You were speaking just a moment ago. Don’t hesitate know just because you know it‘s me.”
He steps closer, reaching his hands out to touch my face. He cups my soft cheeks leaning close to my face, but not showing any signs of what he plans. His eyes are dead…..There’s almost nothing left to them. “Why did you leave me?” He spoke nothing above a whisper, “Because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time.” I speak back strongly, “Even after I said I loved you? Even after what we did?” His gaze bores through me but I’m not backing down, “I made up my mind before I knew you loved me.” Tears forms in the corners of my eyes talking to him. “You were never going to tell me were you?” “I never thought I’d find myself back here.” “But you regret it now that you are back here, right?” I open my mouth but quickly close it. He isn’t right, but I can see he strongly believes that he is. “No. No I don’t. This house is my home and will always be. I feel happy and safe here. Having you here now doesn’t change how I feel. I only see the good times we shared, because I choose not to think about the thousands of mistakes I‘ve made.” I finally break our staring contest and look to the group, tears burning out of my eyes. “And no matter what you think or say. You Jeff, are not one of my mistakes. The only mistake I made with you, is choosing to leave you. I should have taken your offer.” I wipe my tears away, then pull back up to look into his eyes. “Ever time I went to bed, every time I looked up at the sky, and every time…..Chris held me close……I was thinking about you.” I clench my hands into fists glaring at the ground. I sigh then sit on my bed, and cup my face with my hands. Jeff grips my wrists with rough fingertips, pulling my hands away from my red face, “What’s this ring?” He looks at my hand then up at me, “Chris asked me to marry him.” His grip tightened on my hand, “And, you said-” “Yes. I said yes.” Jeff intertwines his fingers with mine leaning close to my face, “Why?” He leans me backwards so he’s hovering over me, while I lay back. “Because what I thought I felt, was love towards him.” Jeff grazes his lips over my neck before speaking again, “You ‘thought’ you loved him? What does that mean?” He chuckles looking down on me, “It means I don’t really feel that way for him…..” I reply cupping Jeff’s scratchy face and lightly smile, “What do you feel towards me?” His voice drops deep and low, nearing my face, “I never stopped loving you….” And with that we meet in a long awaited and much needed kiss. ‘I made another mistake, but yet, you always forgive me……’ I think to myself, one last tear leaving my eye.
    After talking to Jeff for awhile, I realized how much still care for him. If his eyes could, they’d be smiling as much at as him. My phone rings so I answer to find Chris on the other end, “Hello? Hi Chris! What? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine! No that’s ok! Alright, I’ll see you! Bye!” I hang up and look at Jeff, “What?” He didn’t answer. However he did pick me up and hurry out the window into the woods. “J-Jeff! Where are we going?” I call latching onto him for dear life, “You’re not leaving again. Especially not after what we just did!” He speaks nearing the factory. He sets me down in front of the door and holds my shoulders looking me in the face, “___……Stay with me.” I feel like I’m in a flack back, but I know I’m not. “I will.” I say nodding with my words. Jeff pulls me into a long kiss before opening the doors, letting me in. “___!!!!” BEN comes running out of nowhere and hugs me tightly, “Gah! B-BEN?” “YES!! It’s me! The moment I couldn’t get into your computer I knew something was happening! I was so worried!! I missed you!” He squeezes me tighter like a little kid would to their mother. “I missed you too!” I hug back, smiling widely. “___? Oh my god! ___!” Jane ran over and joined the hug happily, “Jane!” I grin wrapping one of my arms around her. I honestly expected everyone to be mad at me, but they’re all happy to see me. It shows I should have said yes to Jeff when I had the chance. Minutes later the proxies, and other pastas came over and balled me up in an embrace followed by the words ‘I missed you’.
    Hours passed while I talked to everyone again, hearing their stories and having them listen to mine. “So you’re staying?” Masky asks looking up at me, “Only if I’m allowed.” I look over at Splendor and Slender near the other side of the room talking but stop and look at me, before nodding to say I can stay if I wish to. Jeff wraps his arms around my shoulders from behind, resting his head on my shoulder, “You are going to stay right?” He asks snuggling my neck, “Of course.” I grin at him, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me like before so long ago.
“No one come into the basement.” Jeff speaks, lifting me up and walking over to a set of stairs that go downward. “Oh- oh~ I know where that is going~” BEN smirks. My face flushes red, before we disappear into the small dark room.
    The video ended there. I look down at the box of really old tapes, dating back to when I was only sixteen, all the way to twenty one. This box is full of my passed. And while some say it’s nothing but a bunch of strange footage, I say, it’s my life. “Ah! Jeff! The baby’s kicking!” I excitedly smile at him, taking his hands and setting them over my enlarged stomach. “Can you feel him?” “I can.” He grins softly, massing my stomach, then looks into my eyes. “I love you ___.” He kisses my forehead gently, “I love you too, Jeff.” I grin at him, then lay my head against his chest. “Always……”
The End~
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