everything isn't just perfect / Tracy Beaker

6 / drowning in the deep end

The next day..

S h e l l e y

 "I made a lot of mistakes with these kids and I already knew that before I decided to quit." Elaine explained herself softly as Mike and I sat there quietly. "Tracy is right and had been right since the moment I became a social worker.. I haven't got the skills for this and I am done."

"You are done?" I whispered with shock as I looked up at the roof then looked back at Elaine. "Is this why Mike is here..." It was more of a statement then a question.

"Yes." She responded softly as she stood up and grabbed her box of things. "Mike has always had such an amazing relationship with the kids especially Tracy and I believe you can get through to Tracy." I looked at Mike who just nodded slightly.

"Elaine, I know that it might be easy to walk out but you are just leaving us without a social worker.." I whispered softly and she sighed.

"You don't need a social worker to run this place.."

"Do you mean you don't think we need you to run this place?" Mike finally spoke and he stood up too. "I know Tracy doesn't think highly of you or ever did, but others have though highly of you. It is just part of the job.."

Elaine shook her head and looked at him. "I am tired, Mike. There isn't a job here for me and if there was - I wouldn't take it. Good bye." She walked past Mike quickly and walked out. We both just stared at the door in shock.

"She wasn't good at her job but I will kind of miss her." I whispered softly as I looked at Mike who laughed a little. "Do you want to break the news to Duke?"

T r a c y

My arm was throbbing hard but I didn't mind if it meant I wasn't feeling everything else. I decided to shower for the first time in days and made sure there wasn't anyone near.

I held my arm into the water and let the pain go on until it went numb. I had to bandage it again with the spare bandage that Crash left me and I sighed as I looked at the reflection of myself. Was I really that easy to walk away from? Why did Mum not fight through the waves to get me?

I am just not worth it..

I walked out of the bedroom and looked around. It was quiet even though it was now late morning. I did hear footsteps and playing but it was no way near the bathroom or my room. I walked to my room and closed the door. "Hi." I looked up and saw Crash sitting on my bed with more bandages. "Thought you might need more.." I nodded.

"Tracy?" I sat on the floor and pulled my knees close to my body. "How long are you going to hide out for?"

"Until I age out of the system and get the hell out of here." I whispered after a short silence and looked up at his face. 

"Jackie called yesterday but I told her that you were in bed." Crash whispered and I nodded. "I haven't told her what happened but you should.. You need us."

I shrugged my shoulders and I heard him take a sharp breath in then out.

"Elaine walked out this morning and I don't think she is coming back." Crash stated out after another long silence. "I mean she wasn't good at her job but I think she really felt bad about the way she handled this whole thing."

"She should." I responded back angrily and I stood up. "I never want to see her again! None of them."

I felt a little dizzy and something wet dripping off my arm. "Tracy?" I felt Crash's hands touching my shoulders. "Just breath. I will help you. Trust me please." I felt myself weakly push him away but he still grabbed my arm. He took the bandage off and looked up at me with shock.