BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Yoongi: 15 June Year 22

After Returning from the Sea
Part 6.2

I thought of something from my dream then. I forgot all about the phone.

I'd been standing outside my home. It was on fire.

"Is anyone else inside?" Someone asked.

"No. No one," id answered.

I was then in my mother's room. There was no fire. I only heard something. Something terrible.

My mother's voice.

"If I hadn't had you, Yoongi..."
"If you hadn't been born..."

Somehow I'd gotten off the sofa after that. I'd gone to the hospital. I had to see Jungkook. The hallway was dark. People slipped past me. They were so pale. So expressionless.

My head hurt so badly. They all looked dead. My breathing was heavy.

I spotted Jungkook lying in his bed. His door was open a crack. He was asleep. He wasn't dead. I knew that. Everyone said it was a miracle he'd survived the accident.

I couldn't look at him anymore. I heard the sound of the fire cracking in the drum at the construction site. I heard the piano. I saw the flames. Saw Jungkook playing the piano, his back to me. Saw him lying on the ground. The pain he must've been in. The fear as he lost consciousness.

"It's all because of you."
"If you hadn't been born.."
My own mother said that.
Or was it mine?
Someone else's?

I'd been tormented my whole life by those words. I wanted to believe they weren't true. But Jungkook was in hospital. I hadn't said anything to him. I'd left.

Maybe if I'd died in that fire none of this would've happened?

In that moment of pain, I remembered my partners melody for the song I'd  been working on.

The guitar meshed in with the roaring fire, the piano. A cacophony of sounds pounded through my head.  I blocked my ears with my arms in vain. I ran down the hospital corridor. I bumped into people passing by. I didn't even turn around to apologize.

I never looked back. I had to get away from this. From these sounds. This guilt. My head pounded. I couldn't do this anymore. I had no more courage or confidence.

I ran down the hallway, stumbling as I went, and got out of the hospital.

ｖｏｔｅ
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