Enticement | Roddy Ricch

|Enticement 2| One.

Korien Jamere Hodges | Kori.

The sound of a pen clicking on and off against the kitchen table made me avert my attention forward. Seeing my mama with tears blurring up her vision. " No more tears... remember?"

She looked up quickly drying her face off as if I didn't see anything but the tears had already began flowing uncontrollably once I wrapped my arms around her tightly. " It's hard..."

Sobs became harder for her to keep in as she choked out on her words." It's so hard baby.."

" I thought I'd be okay after a few months had passed by... or at least be at peace again by now but it's been a whole year Korien..."

" A year." She looked directly into my eyes causing my chest to begin growing tight just as my throat began to ache. " A whole year..."

Time had been flying out the window so fast that it was still hard for me to believe that my pops was actually gone. Between the two of us keeping ourselves busy all the time it was so easy for us to dodge the conversation.

And go on with everything like it hadn't happened at all. Which at one point was becoming easy. Or at least easy for me? But me and my mama were two different people.

With completely opposite feelings.

But what can you say to a woman who's lost the love of her life? What can you do to take away the unbearable and ongoing pain that she feels constantly? What do you do to make her feel like herself again?

Lord knows I had tried and tried numerous times to put the familiar smile back onto her face that I had missed dearly. Every day I was piecing together ideas of little things to do or say that would help her crack a small grin or even laugh.

But I was failing.

And in times like these I feared for her. I feared for her because she was beginning to look less and less interested in life by the day. Her eyes were starting to remain swelled up instead of returning to normal due to the constant tears that she would shed daily.

Eating wasn't something that she was fond of anymore and she was slimming down daily because of it. Due to stress she would stay up long hours through the night just to sit in his old recliner all while looking through the old family photo album.

I had hardly ever prayed but I had been asking God could he save her for me. Or at least take all of her pain away and replace it with peace. I told him that I knew me coming to him at all asking for anything had to be surprising.

But I was feeling desperate and in need for help. And I knew nobody on this earth could help me with what I was asking but him. And I needed him to help with my mama because she was all that I had left. And I needed her.

I needed her to feel like herself again.

I needed her to be happy.

" I'm sorry." I finally spoke with a shakiness in my tone. " Sorry for what baby?" She placed her hands onto my face causing me to break down right in front of her.