My Daughter was born with Mild Tracheomalacia (Soft wind pipe.) The only trouble it ever caused was that she would make a whistling sound sometimes when she was breathing, especially when she was excited or upset. Fast forward to when she was about 4 months old and fast asleep in her crib one evening. Her older Brother had the stomach flu that day and had been throwing up. We thought the baby hadn’t caught it. But, a little while after we put her to bed, we suddenly heard her softly sputtering on the monitor, then silence for a few seconds, then a huge loud wail, which made both my Husband and I run even faster to her room. By the time we got to her, she had fallen earily quiet again. We saw she was gasping for air, choking, unable to clear the vomit from her throat or get a clean breath. Even after we picked her up and cleared her mouth, she continued to gasp. She turned blue, then grey as I drove with her quickly to the ER. She had partially recovered by the time we got there. They gave her o2, chest xray, then a clean bill and we left.
Fast forward about two hours later when I’m back in my bedroom with her sleeping upright in a baby seat next to me on the bed. My Husband and I talked briefly about what would have happened had the baby not cried out so loudly. Would we have reacted so quickly? Would she have recovered?
I’m in and out of sleep myself because I kept checking her. One of the times, just before I had fully awoken, I looked out in the hallway and saw my Grandfather, who had passed away a few years prior. When he was alive, he was not the most involved grand dad. But, when he met my Husband (My boyfriend at the time.) They had an instant connection. When he passed away, his last coherent words were, “I’m not going to make it to altruitis and Mr. Altruitis’s wedding, am I…” He loved my Husband dearly.
Anyway, I see him out in the hall this night. He is just standing there in khakis and a polo with his hands in his pockets. In my dream state, I see all my children, except the baby, pulling at his arms and playing with him. He has a simple smile on his face, he looks over toward the baby’s room and back at me and says, “I’m sorry I made her cry, but I’m glad she’s okay.”
