Random Harry Potter One-Shots

Drarry is NOT a Thing!

Harry and Draco had become quite close over the past few weeks. They were practically best friends. After Harry was re-sorted, he was moved into Draco's dorm. They would often stay up late bickering over small things, but this time was different.
"Hey Harry, your bed is so much more bouncy than mine!" Draco exclaimed while glaring at his own bed as if it had wronged him. "I wanna switch with you"
"No! I like my bed! So get off, I'm tired"
"Let's settle this once and for all. Whoever can jump the highest gets the bed"
"Ugh, fine. If we were still enemies I would have hexed you by now" Harry said grumpily. He got up on the bed and both of them started jumping as high as they could. They were both sweating with their efforts and breathing heavily.

Just as Harry was about to win they heard a 'CRACK!' and they were dead silent. They looked at each other with fear. "Snape's gonna kill us" Draco whispered with wide eyes
"Yeah, no shit Malfoy" Harry said, equally terrified
"Hey, language!" Draco whispered more harshly this time
"Oh, shut it" Harry rolled his eyes.
"How do we fix this?!"
"Um, let's take the mattress off to start"
They flipped the mattress off and balanced it against the wall. The bed had big crack in the wood. "Oh we really fucked up now!" Harry declared
"Indeed, Potter" came a drawling voice from behing them.
"AAH!" Draco and Harry shrieked simultaniously. How did they not notice Snape walking in? If Harry didn't know better, he could have sworn Snape apparated behind them.

When he saw the two boys standing in front of the cracked bed frame, he was suspicious. What had they done now? But when they turned around he saw that their faces were red and shiny with sweat. 'No' Snape thought 'they couldn't be'.

"I will leave you two to your...activities. Remember, you still have to use protection, boys!" He said as he walked out of the room. He added the last part mostly to embarass them. He pretended not to hear their protests as he tried to get the horrible image out of his mind. "I need mind soap" he sighed as he walked back to his quarters.

"Oh Merlin, Snape thinks we were-" Draco paled.
"Well this can't get any worse" Harry admitted.
"Okay, we just need to fix this. We are NOT going out and everyone knows that we're just friends. I like Hermione and you like Pansy. That's the end of it" Draco said with finality.
"I bloody hope it is"

Draco thought he heard footsteps outside. No, it was too late for anyone to be out. "What are you two doi-" Pansy asked as she walked through the door. She burst into laughter. "This was certainly unexpected! Although Draco, you never do shut up about Potter, do you!"
"Pansy, no! That's not-we weren't..." Draco stuttered.
"It's not what it looks like!" Harry yelled.
"Oh, so you two didn't break the bed?" Pansy said, still snickering
"Well...we did but-" Draco tried
"HAHA! MALFOY AND POTTER ARE SHAGGING!" Pansy yelled
"Will you shut up?!" Harry hissed. They were lucky the other boys in their dorm cast silencing charms on their beds so they didn't have to listen to Harry and Draco arguing.
"We were NOT shagging!" Harry insisted
"Really? Then why did Draco stutter?" She smirked
"I didn't stutter! Malfoys don't stutter" Draco claimed.
"Oh sure they don't" Harry said sarcastically
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side in this!" Draco exclaimed
It isnt about one side and another" Pansy started "it's about top and bottom!"

Harry face palmed. He couldn't believe his crush thought he was shagging Malfoy! It was a disaster! "Seriously though, who's on top?" Pansy asked
"We ARE NOT SHAGGING!" Draco shouted
"Well if you weren't shagging, what were you two doing?"
"We were seeing who could jump the highest and the winner would get my mattress because it's better" Harry explained.
"Oh, I understand now" Pansy contemplated something. Draco and Harry sighed with relief. She was finally going to stop saying they were- "you two have already worn out Draco's bed!" She interrupted.

After a long while, they finally got Pansy to stop making dirty jokes. "You two need a couple name!" She insisted
"NO!" the two boys yelled
"How about Drarry?" She suggested
"NO!"
"Aww, look at you two responding at the same time. I think Drarry is cute and suits you"
"No! Drarry is NOT a thing!" Harry insisted
"Just go away" Draco sighed
"Fine. It's about time I spread the word!"

Before Draco or Harry could protest, Pansy walked back to her own dorm, no doubt to gossip. "This is a mess" Harry groaned
"Yeah, no shit" Draco responded.
"It can't get worse" Harry tried to sound optimistic

The next morning Draco and Harry walked to breakfast together with bags under their eyes. Hermione ran up to them instantly. "Oh my god! Drarry!" She exclaimed. Harry let out a slow breath and Draco blushed.
"How the bloody hell did you find out so quickly?" Harry asked in awe.
"So you ARE shagging!"
"No we're not! We just-it's a long story" Harry said with irritation. "But just know that Drarry is NOT a thing!"
"It could be worse" Harry said as they walked away.

*Meanwhile, at the staff table*

"Ha! I knew they would deny it! That's two Galleons Pomona!" Flitwick said excitedly.

"I told you they wouldn't walk in holding hands! That's 5 Galleons, Minerva!" Snape said triumphantly.

*Later*

Draco and Harry decided to leave early for class. They were tired of everyone talking about this 'Drarry' nonsense. They saw Professor Dumbledore walking towards them. "Hello boys, I'm glad to see you two getting along so well these days" Draco and Harry gave each other a look, both of them knowing where this was going. "I heard you two have been enjoying yourselves"
"Not like that, Sir" Harry said, both boys blushing.
"You don't have to be ashamed, boys. I too was quite adventurous when I was your age. Embrace the Drarry"
"Drarry is NOT a thing!" Draco said with a grimace. They walked off to class, both with bad images in their heads.
"It could be worse" Harry said with a shake of his head.

A/N: The end, or to be continued? That is the question. If you like it, I'll write a sequel. And if I do, Sirius is still alive and other parts of canon are messed up. This story is just a little joke, not to be taken seriously. Hope you enjoyed it :) Thanks to McKogane148 for helping me!