Loving Petals | Taegyu

Thorns

As the nurses comes back with Beomgyu from checkup, Taehyun can see the tear stained cheeks on the olders face. The nurses helps Beomgyu to sit down on his bed and leaves thereafter.

"So?" Taehyun swallows hard, scared of hearing the words.

It's quiet for a while. Only their breathing filling the void of sound as the machines beep.

Beomgyu takes a deep shaky breath "92%" he exhales.

All blood disappears from the youngers body at those words. 92%... that means- He gasps and shoots his gaze towards the older.

Beomgyu chuckles sadly "Yeah, 1 week they said". A small but forced smile forms on the olders lips.

Taehyun can feel the tears start roll down his cheeks. "But, t-they can be wrong right? Like, they was wrong about me? Y-you are not really gonna..." Taehyun starts to speak, talking about whatever he has on his mind. Not knowing if it's to make Beomgyu feel better or himself.

"Taehyun," the older bites his lip "I'm going to change hospitals at the end of the week..." he says, voice only in a whisper.

The youngers heart sinks. What?

He can feel himself start to shake. This is not him, he would never show this to anyone. He's supposed to be the strong one, he HAS to. If he's weak, who'll then be strong for the others?

"But-" he's cut off by the olders words. "I'm not changing because I want to, but, because this hospital can no longer do anything to help me. Yeah, they can slow it down but, not stop it" Beomgyu fiddles with the covers.

The younger thinks, he thinks long and hard. Beomgyu doesn't want to leave, but he has to. It pains Taehyuns heart but, if there is any possibility to stop those flowers from suffocating him. Whatever that'll cost, he's willing to let that happen.

He puts on his best face "Beomgyu, whatever you need to do to be free from this nightmare sickness... please do that. If you were to disappear, I don't know if I could handle that" Taehyun says a small sad smile on his lips but sincere eyes gazing at the boy he loves.

If Beomgyu can get cured in the other hospital, even if that means that Taehyun will never see him again. That is still better than him dying a painful death, and losing him for good.

Yeah, that's right. It'll be for the best.

Taehyun throws the covers over his head as he lay down with his back facing the older. It's for the best but,
why does it pain him then?

----------------------------------------------------

2 days.

In 2 days Beomgyu will change hospitals.

The two have been spending a lot of time together, however... it's not the same.

Hanging out, laughing and smiling together but, it feels forced. Like they have to be happy these last days. Taehyuns flowers grow bigger every day, he knows he doesn't have long left either. But even when he knows, he isn't scared of death any longer.

No, what scares him is to lose this. This moment right here when he is talking about whatever nonsense he'd like with Beomgyu. The only person that had ever been able to look at him like he's more than a unfortunate kid with hanahaki.

When around Beomgyu he can smile with all of his heart, he can speak his mind without being scared of being shut down and he can laugh, he can laugh like the thought of hundreds of flowers being stuck in his lungs was never there. He feels free.

"Taehyun-ah?" Beomgyu chuckles but the little smile that had crept onto his beautiful thin lips slowly disappears. "Yeah, I know" Taehyun smile sadly.

He knows what Beomgyu is trying to say, what he always tries to say. That he's sorry, that it's all his fault, like how much he'll miss him or how this moment isn't going to last forever. However, the words have never managed to leave the olders lips. But the truth is clear as day in his eyes, they speak for everything that he feels.

"I'll miss you" Beomgyu whispers.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too" Taehyun smiles once again sadly as he lets a small tear slip from his eye.

"You know, I'll never blame you for it" Taehyun chuckles as he wipes away another tear. "Taehyun I'm-" but he's cut off by the younger, "I'll never blame you for making me the happiest I've ever been, for showing me how happiness truly feels like. Yeah, I have to admit that having hanahaki sucks but," he inhales "but, I'm happy that I'll forever be reminded of who you are until the day I take my last breath. Hanahaki is not a curse, I know that now. I know cause I get to see a piece of something you love every day" Taehyun smiles. "And without this sickness, I'd never met you right? So if anything, I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful that I'll die knowing that I've met someone that makes me smile with my heart, that give me courage to speak and that makes me feel wanted for who I am. I'm happy that I'll die of the flower that's protected in your heart" Taehyun finishes.

But as he looks at Beomgyu, the older is crying.

Hysterically.

Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he desperately tries to wipe them away. His eyes are shining red as his cheeks are puffy.

Even in this situation Taehyun can't help but think that older is the most beautiful he's ever seen him.

"I'm sorry Taehyun, I'm so sorry that I, I-" he breaks down crying again.

Taehyun knows.

The younger only looks at the older, scared that a simple touch might break him to bits and pieces.

No tears are falling down Taehyuns face but a small sad smile is hanging on his lips.

"I'm sorry that I can't love you!" The older finally manages to say as he grasps the covers tight, shoving it to his face.

The muffled crying fills the void in the room as small, small tears starts to fall down the youngers face.

He knew.

But when the words left Beomgyus lips, he felt it for the first time.

The words piercing through his heart like arrows.

But he's okey.

Cause now he knows, he feels and he will die from it.

Like a rose bush, beautiful to the naked eye. Vulnerable. But dangerous to the touch.

Like love, you are gripping the flower cause of the beauty and the longing to smell the beautiful scent that you only got a hint about from someone else. But as you pluck it from the bush, you feel the sting in your finger from the thorns as a warm liquid starts to cover the wound. A wound that no one will see in the future but the small, almost invisible scar is still present where it once cut you. Forever stuck on you, just like that day in your life.

Just like love offers you a beautiful feeling alongside your lover, it cuts a small wound to your heart. It'll heal, but never truly heal the memory, cause it'll forever be a part of who you were and what you felt. Cause it's a part of who you are.

Taehyun is happy that Beomgyu will be treated. But he knows that no matter what happens. His life will forever be locked to death, and the key to unlock it.

Lies in Beomgyus hands.