Skywalkers Apprentice || Kylo Ren x Reader

Chapter Two || Love

"Ben," I whisper sneaking my way into his hut. "Are you asleep yet?" I ask. I lower myself to my knees beside him. He lets out a groan rolling over to face me. "Y/n?" "Hey." I smile placing my lantern on the floor next to us. I tuck my hair behind my ears. "I'm sorry for waking you, I couldn't sleep," I explain. "No, no, it's okay. I don't mind." He reassures sitting up. "What's troubling you?" His voice is much deeper now. Hints of stubble peaking through his skin. His hair growing fuller and longer. It feels like just yesterday we were kids and now he looks so grown. "I..um." I shift uncomfortably unable to look him in the eye. "I've just been thinking a lot about you lately." I bit my lip. "Okay. What about?" He asks in that same gentle and welcoming tone he always has.

"About... um. Well, not to be brash but, I've been thinking about touching you." I admit shamefully. It's embarrassing to admit you've been thinking about someone sexually. Even if he is my boyfriend of a few years. He lets out a small hum of acknowledgment. I move my butt from sitting on my heels and rest on my knees. My hands gently making their way to him. His hands move to rest on my lower back. "Do you want to touch me? Is that why you came here?" He asks. I nod. "Are you sure?" He prods. "I am," I reassure. He gives me a slight smile and kissed me.

My back against his cot. His large warm hands on my skin. His hot breath against my neck. His sweaty skin against mine. The soft moans leaving my mouth. Trying to keep quiet is hard. His fingers lightly digging into my thigh. His hips meeting my thighs with each thrust. The deep vibrations moving from his chest to mine with each groan. Let's just say I slept like a rock that night.

.

Three years later I lay with his warm chest against my back. We've kept our relationship under tight wraps. It's no one's business if we're together. It's also not allowed. Jedi can't have relationships or marry. It's raining tonight and I can't sleep well through the thunder. Ben's arm is hooked around my chest holding me close. A deep loud crack comes from the sky above. An involuntary whimper making its way from my closed mouth. "Shhh, angel, it's okay." I don't know what it is about the sound of thunder. It gives me bad dreams. He holds me as best he can. I just try and keep my eyes closed and attempt to fall asleep. Eventually. I do.

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It's only been a few years, but Ben's presence has changed. He feels heavier. He's having more trouble sleeping. He won't open up to me about what's troubling him and it's hurting me. I just wish he would tell me. The bags under his eyes are more noticeable these days. His voice is somehow even deeper. I don't know what's changed. He has less enthusiasm, less energy. I don't think anyone else has noticed but I have. "Ben." My voice breaching the silence of the room. He lays on his cot and I sit next to him. "Hmm." His deep hum sourcing from his chest.

"Are you okay?" I ask. His eyes opening to meet mine. "What?" He asks. "I'm worried about you. You've grown so tired lately and you won't tell me why you're not sleeping well." I press. He sits up and pulls me to him. "Don't worry about me, angel. I'm just fine." His voice is comforting and warm. He pulls away and kisses my forehead tenderly. "I love you." He mumbles against my skin. "I love you too, Ben." I smile trying to convince myself he's okay.

.

This same pattern continues for a while. My concern for him grows and I approach him about it only for him to kindly comfort me and reassure me that he's just fine. That he's just been overexerting himself and needs to rest more. Besides seeming more tired lately, nothing else has really changed. He still takes every chance he has to express his love for me. But still, the lingering feeling of something bad is in the back of my mind always.

"Ow! Ben." I yelp at the scrape on my hand from catching myself falling. "Y/n! I'm so sorry." He rushes to my side. "I didn't mean to shove you that hard." He apologizes moving me back to my feet. "It's okay, just relax. You're fighting is so tense lately." I confess. "I'm sorry." Is all he manages to give me. This wasn't the first time he'd done this. His power has grown much stronger over the years. So has mine but not as rapidly as his. He's become a little careless with his strength. I'm really worried.