My Underwater Princess

Chapter 6: Hidden Secrets

***** WARNING: Description of violent events later in this chapter ... if you are sensitive to this kind of stuff I advise you move to the next chapter .... I will provide a summary of this chapter in the next one without the harsh details for those that wish to skip this one *****

I closed the door but then staying still for a moment. Hand resting up against the door thinking. Thinking about all that's happened. How I kissed a human, let them into my home, told my deepest secrets too. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was both happy and empty at the same time. Like I wanted to hide in the darkest part of a cave for years and not come out. Be alone in my own thoughts. Like that would ever happened. I look down at the floor watching my fin move forward and back effortlessly, like a natural movement. Becoming completely oblivious that I was doing it. I turn and gently push myself forward, my hand leaving the smooth door as I head to the kitchen. The vast halls decorated with portraits of past rulers. Kings, Queens, children, pets, etc. Then ... there's me. My father and mother. Big smiles across their faces, each wearing a golden crown with embedded jewels and shining crystals. In between them slightly more up-front is a small young girl. Black wavy hair flowing to the water's current. A big innocent smile plastered onto her face and sparkly tiara delicately placed on her head. How little did she know how cruel the real world is. Where the biggest problem she would face is what dress to put on her doll. Now all grown up, her biggest issues are dealing with the judgmental looks and comments of others and playing pretend. Smiling and laughing when deep inside you're hurting. 

"What happened to me" quiet whispers escape my lips as I stare longingly at the portrait. "She grew up" I turn to see that it's Yoongi coming up behind me. "I thought I locked the door" I reply looking back at the painting. "It was not. Anyway, you grew up. Learned to explore the world around you. Discovered how harsh and scary it was. It was much harder because you were ..."

"Alone." We both turn to each other and I catch his eyes locked onto mine. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. His dark brown eyes told many stories. One's of happiness, one's of sadness. And one's of great suffering, loneliness, depression, and terrible irreversible thoughts. Hidden Secrets. One's not known to anyone. Locked away in the dark corners of his spirit. His true face hidden behind that smiling mask he's forced to wear. Truth is .... We've both been hurting for so long. Hid our suffering because no one will understand. Couldn't turn to someone that will accept it. But we connected instantly. Because we both understood. Knew what it felt like. To feel lost. To feel alone Abandoned. My father has never really been around which is why I was more connected to mom. I don't know what he's been through but when you look into someone's eyes you can see the truth. The truth untold itself. "Look I'm not you. I don't know what you've been through but I can see you're also hurting Yoongi. Hiding what feels like an eternity of sadness. Neglect. Fear. So many negative emotions all at once . You feel alone Abandoned. "" Stop it "He looks at me speaking with a firm voice." Just tell me what's going on Yoongi. I can see you're scared " I reply "stop it!" I replied with a firmer, cold voice. "Yoongi please let me help you" I say again pleading. "I said STOP IT!!" Yoongi shouts turning to me. "GOD DAMN I TOLD YOU TO STOP Y / N !!!!! JEESUS CAN YOU NOT GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD?!?!?! SO WAKE UP TO HELP OTHERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ONE LEFT !!!!! KNOW I SEE WHY YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD AND SHE IS BETTER OFF DEAD! SHE IS LUCKY TO HAVE LEFT AN ANNOYING, BRATTY GIRL LIKE YOU!" A gasp leaves my mouth as the words slip from his mouth. Yoongi quickly realizes what he said and covers his mouth with his palms, eyes widened. Tears start leaving my eyes as I begin turning away and swimming off leaving him behind "Y / n wait!" he grabs my arm and I face his pulling my arm roughly out of his grasp. "Leave me alone !! I trusted you Yoongi! You know what? I though you were different, but guess I was wrong. You're just like the rest of them." I turn and quickly swim off hearing Yoongi's shouting fade into the distance.

* Yoongi POV *

I messed up. I watch her quickly leave my sights while I continue shouting after her. All she's done was help me today and this is how I repay her. By screaming at her, by using the very thing that's broken her from the inside to get her to go away. Why would I do that? She trusted me with a dark secret and I throw it back in her face, I need to apologize. At the quickest speed I swim out after her, the water wasn't having any affect on my eyes, only felt like wind blowing in my face. I don't know how long I went on for but when I finally stopped to catch my breath it looked like I was in the middle of nowhere. It was much darker here compared to the area around the kingdom. Surrounded by sharp jagged rocks and long strangling seaweed. "Y / N! Where are you?! Look I'm sorry just please come back! Please come out !! I need you! Please Y / N! "I spin around continuing to shout out her name. Begging her to come back. I didn't want her to get hurt because of me. She's the only person who truly understood how I felt. I love my friends, they're like brothers to me but just don't quite know what it feels like to be me I feel my hopes of finding her plummeting to rock bottom faster than I can react She's gone Really gone ... and it's my fault Darkness continues surrounding me Wrapping its cold, dead hands around me Pulling me into the start of a hellish nightmare that I may never wake from my vision getting blocked by the parade of bubbles around me

More shouting More pleading Begging to find her. I didn't tell her about my past because I would probably scare her. I didn't want to tell her that my father is a murderer. A monster An abuser. My mother, the woman that would protect me from all these things taken away from me. The one good person in my world torn from my life. My father, the exact opposite of her. He'd beat, torture, and assult my mother in evil, cruel malicious ways. I pretended like I didn't know thinking that I'd save my mother from more harm. But it only grew worse. I should've stood up for her. Taken a beating if it meant she could have a break. I'd watch as she covered herself up in sleeves, long dresses and makeup to hide what a monster was capable of behind closed doors. Her only form of protection from my father's cruel punishments, or lessen the severity of them to some extent. And I stood by and watched. Scared to do anything. I couldn't speak out, do what's right, or save my mother. And each day I regret it. Not taking action. Only if I had would she still be here. Alive It still haunts me. That evening It was stormy outside and I couldn't sleep being kept awake by the thunder and my parents shouting at each other. My mother taking a stand for herself. Father screaming. Insulting her, hitting her. Innocent as I was, I walked to them seeing my mother holding large bags in her hand, telling me to go get some clothes and toys as well. When I come back I barely have time to look at my father before I feel my mothers strong, comforting grip on my wrist pulling me behind her. My bag bumping against the back of my heels as we pad through the big halls to the front gate. The next events that have forever changed me. Quick, yet still burn strong in my brain. It was the moment my father grabbed the wrist of the hand that wasn't holding mine, spun her around and before I could say anything .... Mercilessly stabbed her . Repeatedly

And I can still remember how many times. The 15 times the cold silver blade invaded my mother's form spilling her everywhere. In front of me. Watching my mother collapse in front of me, I screamed for her before my father turned the bloody blade to me. "The same will happen to you if you tell anyone about this or try to run away from me. Understood?" Scared and filled with fear I didn't object. But each day I plan out my revenge. To finally send him back to the place he belongs. In hell He doesn't deserve any form of power or respect after what he did. I've ruined what little happiness I had, took it away from me. An innocent child.Hence why I want to become King without waiting on finding the right girl for me. Finally give him the end he deserves without being stopped, ensure he won't be able to do anything. Can't stop me from getting justice for my mother.