2020 WATTYS WINNER in NEW ADULT!
Oliver Ausman has been given a second chance at life, but it's hard to feel grateful when he was the one trying to end it in the first place.
Returning to his normal life after being released from the hospital is har...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The sun shines down on Minnesota as we head down the highway, the Firebird filled with silent anticipation. I swear I've seen more highway in the past few days than I've seen in my whole life. After a while, it all looks the same-- but today it feels different, thanks to this being the last short stretch of our trip. This is really it: we're heading to Isaac's house. All the roads have led us here. As the GPS ticks off the miles, my stomach feels like it's churning cement.
On the bright side, since ninety percent of my brain activity is focused on the fact that with every passing minute I'm closer to meeting my father, it's hard to beat myself up over not confessing to Kat last night.
I shouldn't even be mad at myself in the first place-- telling her how I feel would be beyond stupid. I mean, I'm out of my mind if I think I have a chance with her, even after yesterday. The hand-holding, the hug, they were platonic. As much as I wish they weren't, that's the truth, and I have to accept it.
Admitting my feelings would probably just make her uncomfortable. It would ruin things, and I'd go back to having no one to talk to but Charlie. I should just be happy things turned out the way they did and that she wants to stay friends after this is over.
"Oliver," Kat angles her body towards me in the passenger's seat, "if you grip that steering wheel any harder you'll break it in half. Try to relax."
Funny, since she's half the reason I'm so tense. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, but it doesn't do much to ease the lifetime worth of stress I'm trying to deal with.
"Are you excited?" Charlie asks from the backseat.
The GPS tells me our exit is coming up, so I switch lanes, trying to figure out how to answer Charlie's question. Under all the nerves and worry, I think I might be excited, but it's hard to tell.
"A little." I raise a stiff shoulder, wishing I could loosen up. "Mostly nervous."
"You shouldn't be," Kat says. "And I know me saying that doesn't help, but I mean it."
Logically, I know she's right. I'm not at fault for any of this, I'm just the one bearing the news. Isaac screwed up and I'm the result he never found out about. He and mom are the reason this messed up situation even exists.
Unfortunately, logic doesn't stop my hands from shaking, or my heart from feeling like it's about to burst out of my chest. Everything only gets more intense when I get off the highway and follow the directions to a more residential area. The houses gradually get bigger and fancier as we drive down different roads, passing neighborhoods and shopping centers. I'm caught between wishing this wasn't taking so long and wishing it would last forever, so I'd never have to finish what I started.
After a while, as we're driving down a shaded side street, the GPS instructs me to make a left turn. There are two short, brick pillars on both sides of the road, and as we turn I spot a white mailbox next to one of them. This must be his driveway.
