Ashley's POV
Yeah yeah I know, pretty excited to see what's going on in Ash's head.
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I called him daddy I called him daddy I called him daddy I called him daddy I called him daddy
I FÛCKING CALLED MY FUCKING BESTFRIEND DADDY.
I can't see him, I gotta move school, the town hell even the goddamn country. I won't be able to face him. He probably thinks I'm disgusting to have such a kink that's if he even knows what a kink is.
I messed up. I messed up big time. Just when I thought I had finally earned me a very nice and loving best friend, my dumb ass goes and mess everything up just like I did with Ethan, I fûcking let his boyfriend....... you know what, I'm a total good for nothing, a total fûck up who breaks everything that comes my way. Every time someone tries and get close to me, I somehow end up destroying whatever relationship we have.
And what's worse, I can't fûcking stop these tears, the pain of losing the only person I may ever love and not only brotherly love but romantic love. I've been in denial but after what happened on Saturday there's no denying that I want Mano and I want him really bad. I want him as my daddy even though we're practically the same age, Mano takes care of me in a way that no one else has ever bothered doing and that's what made me attracted to him the way that I am.
Call me crazy but I may even be able to regress if he actually gets me there. God, just thinking of the way he handled me in that restroom gets me all tingly and my stomach fills with butterflies. I love him, yes I sad it I love him and I can say it a thousand times again. I can even climb on top of the London bridge and yell to the whole fucking world how much I love Mano.
Speaking of the devil he's been calling since Saturday night and I haven't had the guts to answer him yet, lord give me strength. Right now I just wanna curl up in a ball and cuddle my huge teddy while sucking my thumb. Yeah I know, to someone who doesn't understand ddlb (Daddy Dom little boy) will probably think I'm crazy or totally out of my mind but no, I'm perfectly fine, it's just a coping mechanism for me and a kink.
But most of all I just want to be in Mano's hands, where I know I'll be safe and loved and ......
For fuck's sake
"Hello" I answered my phone in the tiniest voice ever not knowing what to expect.
"Thank the fûcking lord you answered, do you know how worried I was with you not answering your phone. I was about to move hell on earth looking for you. Don't ever put me under that much stress Ash. Tell me how are you? Are you home? Have you even eaten yet? I swear Ashley if you haven't eaten "
Do you see what I mean? He does it every time without even realizing what he's doing.
"I ate Mano, I promise I did" and my ass can't help submitting. Tell me, how can one resist that.
"I'm coming to pick you up in ten" and he hung up.
It wasn't even a question.
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The car ride was pretty silent since I couldn't even look at him, how could I.
Entering the sitting room, we were met by three sets of eyes and that's when I knew they knew what had happened and in all honesty, I'm not even sure how I managed to not pee my pants especially now that I was hanging between big me and little me.
"I'm sorry" I quickly apologized. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for.
"Ash, look at me" I had Mano says in front of me but I was already out of it, my tears were already falling. ''no no no baby, don't cry, everything's fine I promise'' He tries to coo me.
God, I'm such a baby and I'm weak too.
''I - know- you're- probably disgusted- by - me, it's - fine - if you - don't - if you - if you don't - want Mano- to be my friend- ill just go-'' I hiccup on every word, I just can't get my crying under control.
''Do I look like someone who wants to get rid of you?'' Mano asks, and I can't help the blush that fills my face as I realize that somehow we had made it to the love seat and I was sitting on Mano's lap with my face buried between his shoulder and neck. I try moving to sit beside him and literally everyone in the room except me groans causing me to freeze. What the hell?
''Should I explain or someone else?'' Mano asked and I just couldn't bring myself to look at all these men right now.
''I think Tanaka should do it, after all, he's the one who's good at explaining these kinds of things and doesn't beat around the bush like I probably would, and Lord knows Jas won't even let a single word out.'' I had Terry voice out.
explain what exactly?
''Ashley, do you know what BDSM is? '' Tan went straight to the question and I almost choked on my spit as I looked at him with wide eyes but damn was he in a no-nonsense mood, nothing new there.
I nodded and I swear I saw his features darken a little.
''If we are going to have this conversation Ashley, I need verbal responses'' He stated and damn was he hot. ''So let's try this again, do you know what BDSM is?'' he asked again
''y-yes I do'' I reply before sniffing. Of course, I know what it is, with a kink like mine you just had to. and I had done tons and tons of research on it and even spoke t that Dominatrix, what was her name again...... Mistress Khristina, she was a Russian, very scary woman when you first meet her.
''tell me about your experience with the world Ashley'' Tan commanded
''Well, I had a mentor, Mistress Khatrina. she was good to me even though she knew I was gay but she still thought me most of the main things one needs to know. Things like respect, how to be safe and....'' I trailed off without finishing my statement. Just because he's asking me about the lifestyle doesn't mean they are a part of it and moreover I don't know how they would take in about my Daddy kink.
''don't be scared Ash, I got you. Just answer everything'' Mano whispered in my ear and I could feel breath on my neck, it made me shiver a bit.
''She taught me how to control myself from slipping'' I whispered but I'm sure they all heard me.
''Slipping into what?'' Jasper asked. it was my first time hearing his voice today.
I took a deep breath in, well it's now or never. They prolly just want to understand where the daddy thing came from. I can as well get it over with.
''I have a Daddy kink and so she taught me to control myself around men with a dominant aura, but it is just difficult to control myself around Mano'' I whispered this time with my head hidden on Mano's neck again. They probably were thinking the worst of me.
''I know it's too late to ask this, but Asley do you trust me?'' Tan asked and I nodded and waited to hear what he wanted to say but he said nothing, he only raised an eyebrow.
''yes I do'' I corrected. That had been my main problem with Mistress Khatrina too, the nodding thing.
He got up and held out his hand for me to take which I did not hesitate to do. We went up the stairs and walked until we reached the last room with big double doors. He opened them and we were in a huge bedroom with the highest bed id ever seen. but he didn't stop, he went to the wall which I was confused about until it started opening.
stepping aside, he told me to enter and I did.
''Holly flip phone'' I muttered to myself as I felt like Tan had just brought heaven to me.
Not only did these men not think of me as disgusting, they understood me.
I let another tear fall.
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okay, s that was it for Ashley's POV. tell me what you think about Ash beating himself up over nothing.
until next time my dinners and saints✌🏽
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Hurts so good
General Fiction"I could give you what you want, what you crave" he whispered in my ear and I shivered as I felt his hand slide into my shirt. "How do you even know what I -uhhhh" he pinched the skin just above My belly button and I swear I could just melt right h...
