Chapter 4

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Same Mistakes

Chapter 4

Marie's POV

"You have extraordinary power within you to overcome life's difficult challenges." ~Lailah Gifty Akita

        "Hi, dad. I know, I know... it's only been a few hours after your funeral, and I'm here to bother you again. I just... I can't help it. I'm not ready to leave you yet; it's too hard to forget." I sniffed, tears were streaming down my eyes, which were also very puffy red and painful from the rubbing.

        "You won't be able to respond now, and I will be talking to the wind, but I know that somewhere out there you are listening to me. What do I do now; now that you're gone? It feels like my world crashed down, and I have nowhere to go. How do I continue to live without you by my side? Because, to put it simply, I just can't even hold myself together. How do I fight?

        "I want to die, too, you know. I want to be with you, because after all I don't have anyone to love and care for me here on Earth the way you did. Am I being selfish to think about it? I know you aren't happy about my thoughts, but I don't know what I am talking, I barely understand myself.

        "I hope time will come that I can live like this didn't happen. I want you to rest in peace, without bothering how much pain and grief I am feeling. You always tell me that you can't stand when I'm sad, so I will do my best to put it aside for your sake. I also hope that wherever you are, you are happy. In that way, I will be too happy about it. Don't worry, I can take care of myself, even though I don't know how.

        "Without your constant guidance, I can't even function so well, but I promise to try because it'll make you happy. I will not give up, now that you are not here by my side anymore. I will fight, like what you always said."

        A loud bang from the outside woke me up from my dream. I quickly wiped the tear stained from my eyes and reached for the door. I unlocked it, my fingers fumbling and shaking a bit from another vivid dream I had. When I opened it, Mr. Banner, the landlord, was standing outside my rented room. His eyes were full of fury, his arms crossed against his chest. Oh, crap. It's the end of the month, and I hadn't paid the last and this month to him.

        "Miss Dwyer, I appreciate it if you open the damn door as soon as possible. If you think that hiding is the solution of not paying, then you make sure that you hide so well. Now, where's the fucking payment from last December and this month?!" he sneered, his eyebrows thick and furrowed.

        "I... uh, I promise to pay, just give me a wee-"

        "Another fucking week?! The last time I asked for your payment, I didn't get any coin, but I let it go! But today, I will not give you a chance. There's someone asking for a room to rent, and since you're the only one this building who hasn't paid yet, then I am obliged to kick you out!"

        I cringed a little from his bitter and harsh words. What do I tell him? I'm sorry that I don't have the fucking money?! "Please, I will pay later! I will pay later, just please don't kick me out!" I begged, kneeling in front of him.

        "You make sure that you fucking pay later or else you would find yourself thrown and begging in the streets!" he snapped, and with that said and done, he left me.

        I stood up from my previous stance, closing the door, and headed to the bathroom. After I changed into my uniform, I grabbed my things from the wooden desk. I left the building in a haste, because I was getting a bit late again, and I couldn't have any of that for now. I needed to borrow money from Tia, and I had to be prompt and diligent in my work.

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