𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐆𝐮𝐧

the forgotten door

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝟏𝟐 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒, I've found out. Greta had introduced me to the group of teens, pointing out each person and indulging me in a wash of names that I know I will not remember, nor do I want to. We shuffle through the line of a buffet that is being watched like a hawk by a man in white, a doctor or nurse I presume.

"Don't be nervous. He watches the buffet and makes sure none of us do anything to tamper the food." Greta whispers, offering the man a smile as she takes a warm roll from a pile.

The man only nods, eyes leaving her and moving down the line to watch for anything else. I wonder what 'tamper the food' means, and what might have happened before. The thought makes me nervous, but when I notice everyone's plates becoming full, I don't hesitate in filling mine, too.

By the time I'm sitting beside Greta, I have two rolls, a sweet potato, green beans, corn, and a piece of roasted chicken. Bit on the healthy side for me, but nonetheless, Greta was right - the food is delicious.

One of the other patients takes a seat across from me, brown eyes shyly meeting mine as he takes a sip of water. I don't remember his name, but he was one of the ones hovering at the back of the group when Greta was introducing everyone. I remember him a little more clearly than the others because his hesitancy to step into the group reminded me of myself. Not quite on the inside, not quite pushed to the outside. Always in a state of neutrality.

"Hello," he says, smiling gently while Greta murmurs a greeting back.

I don't respond, only inclining my head in greeting. Though I relate to him, I am not ready to make friends. I was intrigued by Avery, yes, whom I notice is not even in the cafeteria, and while Greta has been helpful in showing me the ropes, it has already been too much and I am feeling overwhelmed. Making friends equals gaining feelings, emotions, enemies, connections, chemistry. All things I cannot deal with if I plan on making it out of here with nothing to tie me down. If any of these people were to gain an interest in me, they wouldn't leave me alone until my story was told - and I am not interested in telling stories or being told stories.

Through the evening, I laugh at the right times, answer simply at the right times, and agree at the right times. I do not provoke any deeper conversation than what is necessary. I am polite, straightforward, and utterly boring. So bland, in fact, that I slowly notice the other kids eyes skipping mine as they round the table. I am already blending in. My lack of craziness and interest in the others has wedged a wall between them and me, which I find to be my advantage.

It will be easier to forget these people if I don't know them.

Dinner passes quickly, and I am grateful for it. I don't want it to be nighttime before I am off. The sun is still out and shining, but it's dipping slower and slower over the mountain tops as dusk makes her way to the world. I excuse myself from Greta's invitation to join everyone for some activity and complain of traveling sickness, wishing her goodnight as I retire to my bedroom.

This is where the escape begins. I know how stupid it is to want to escape after only a day of being here. Half a day, really, if even that. I'm aware of how dangerous the situation is. I don't know this place, I don't know the town, I don't know how security is around here, to be honest, I don't really know anything - but I know one thing. I want out. I need to get out of here, if only to get some air, or to enjoy the festival that I see from my window. I need to feel normal for just a moment before this house of crazy swallows me whole.

On the way to my room, I keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. For perhaps a magical door that will lead me to the outside world safely. All I see, though, is nurses in white and more clusters of people I don't recognize. I suddenly feel very tired. I wonder where Milly is and what she's doing, and wish that I could just hold her, just for a second. I'm sure she's not thinking that way. She's probably having the time of her life exploring a new place while I'm wishing for nothing but to get out.