El Tango De Sal

The Science of Selling Yourself Short

The Science of Selling Yourself Short - Less Than Jake

TW for:
-Alcohol
-Abuse
-Self-Harm
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Sal had finally fallen asleep after a while, and the next day he didn't get a hangover as he expected, but he was thirsty as hell. After he chugged two full glasses of water, he felt better.

The day went on normally, though Larry seemed more worried about Sal. Sal reassured him he was fine, even though he really didn't feel it. After the water, he felt better physically, but not mentally. He was back to his numb state, with a lot of anxiety sprinkled in. Even Travis could tell something was off, but he didn't want to push Sal into saying something he didn't want to.

By the time school was over, Sal was relieved. He hated being at school, even if he wasn't getting bullied anymore. It just stressed him out like crazy, especially with his anxiety levels being so high. Thank God tomorrow was the weekend.

He made it home quickly, avoiding his dad and making his way to his room and closing the door. He decided to get his homework done first, wanting to get it out of the way. It wasn't too much, which he was grateful for. He heard his walkie come on, Larry's face coming through.

"Hey, Sally Face! Did you wanna do something?" he asked. Sal thought for a moment, but sighed. He didn't mean to push him away, but he didn't really feel like being around people. He leaned and took it, speaking into it.

"Hey Lar... I'm sorry, I'm doing homework. I um... just feel anxious. Don't really feel up to... humans." he explained. He didn't want to give away too much information, but didn't want to lie to Larry.

"Oh, that's fine. I wouldn't wanna overwhelm you. How about tomorrow? It's ok if you don't feel up to it then, either..." he said. Sal could hear the disappointment in his voice, but he felt indifferent to the situation.

"Yeah, I'll see how I feel, ok?" he replied. Larry hummed, "Don't forget your medication. See ya tomorrow!" he said, a lighter tone at the end of his message.

"Yeah, tomorrow... night." he said, setting it back on his dresser when his goodnight was reciprocated. He turned his attention to his homework, finishing it after about an hour. It felt nice to get it done, but he still felt the anxiety crawling up his back, almost like a monster.

He put his stuff away, then glanced over at where he had hid the bottle under his pillow. Two times wouldn't hurt, right? No one would know, after all... only him. Larry wouldn't find out, and none of his friends were coming over, so what was the harm?

So once again, he drank until he was feeling the happiness again. He wished he felt this good all the time, but of course he couldn't. It felt almost like it filled a void in his chest, and he could understand his dad's love for the bottle, now. Though Sal felt happy, while his father felt angry while drunk.

He would learn quickly that being happy while drunk wasn't always the case.

He found himself drinking almost every night, pushing his friends away. He had almost stopped talking to anyone, and missed a lot of school. Even at school, he avoided everyone. He rarely talked anymore, and never answered his walkie talkie or his phone. All his brain was focused on was getting home and getting drunk again. He even stole the other bottle of vodka, not caring about the consequences if it went missing.

He'd fallen into the cycle, even if the alcohol didn't make him happy anymore. It either numbed his emotions, or intensified them. Sometimes, it DID make him happy, but it was more rare. He'd fallen back into his old habit, cuts and bandages criss-crossed over the old scars on his arms.

After a few weeks of this, he had a particularly bad night -- an argument with his dad about the missing alcohol, which ended with a bloody nose -- he didn't want to be alone, afraid of what he'd do. He had drank more than usual, and was sufficiently wasted, as he stumbled his way to the elevator, inserting the keycard and going down to the basement.

He made his way to Larry's apartment, holding onto the walls and whatever else to stay up. He knocked, hoping Lisa wouldn't answer. He felt relieved when Larry opened, blinking, "Sal? Dude you..." he wrinkled his nose, "Jesus, are you drunk again?" he asked.

Sal shrugged, "Sure am..." he said. Larry sighed, helping him in and shaking his head as he led him to his room. Once inside, Sal stumbled to the bed and sat on the edge, holding his head as his vision swam. Larry stood in front of him, crossing his arms.

"Is this why you ignore us? Why you're so snippy?" he asked. Sal shrugged, "Guess so..." he mumbled. Larry shook his head, "What happened to never touching the stuff? You even said addiction runs in the family, and yet you still did it?" he said.

Sal frowned, staggering to his feet and turning to face him. "I didn't mean for it to spiral!" he yelled. "I just wanted to try it out! It made me happy..." he said. Larry shook his head, "Your friends don't make you happy? How do you think this makes us feel?! You know what, I'll tell you. Everyone's so worried, especially Travis. He thinks you hate him! I thought you hated ME!" he yelled.

Sal shook his head, "How do you think I feel?! I don't do it cause it's fun! I just..." he paused, "I need it, dude..." he murmured. He always had the itch to scratch, even if he didn't WANT to drink. He HAD to.

Larry shook his head, "You're gonna end up like your dad at this rate!" he yelled. Sal felt anger bubble to the surface as he clenched his fists, then shoved Larry back. "Fuck you! I'm nothing like him!" he yelled, tangling his hands in his let down hair, yanking so hard he pulled out some hair.

Larry huffed in frustration, going to him and pulling at his hand, "Stop pulling your hair, Sal." he snapped. Sal slapped his hands away, shoving him hard again, "Don't fucking touch me!" he screeched, panic and anger in his voice.

Larry scoffed, "Yep. Just like your dad." he said. Sal looked at him, "Fuck you! I'm nothing like that asshole! You don't even KNOW him!" he yelled. Larry crossed his arms, "Don't I? I know he hurts you, Sal!" he retorted.

Sal stared at him, "And you didn't... SAY anything?!" he yelled, his anger reignited. Larry shook his head, "I thought I'd wait until YOU told ME! I didn't want to pry! Even if I asked, you woulda denied it, and you KNOW it!" he retaliated.

Sal shook his head, "How to fuck would you know that if you never tried?! God you have such LITTLE faith in me!" He shook his head, turning to head to the door. Larry leaned, grabbing his wrist, "Dude, don't go home and do something stupid!" he snapped.

Sal hissed in pain from one of the newer cuts on his wrist, turning and, without thinking, slapping Larry. "I said not to touch me!" he yelled. Larry made a noise of frustration, turning and shoving Sal to the ground.

"Fine! Then go! Don't bother coming back, though!" he yelled, turning his back to him. Sal stumbled to his feet, "I wasn't planning on it!" he yelled back, turning and leaving, slamming the door behind him as he made his way back to the elevator, going back up to his room.

He closed and locked his door, tangling his hands in his hair and yanking. When that didn't feel like enough, he turned and punched his dresser, hissing and holding his hand. He glared at his phone when it rang, going to it and picking it up.

"What the fuck do you want, Johnson?!" he snapped.

There was silence on the other end, then a quiet response from Travis, "I-I guess now is a bad time, huh?"

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A/N: Ok this chapter title is long BUT the song is amazing and it's a HIGH recommendation from me! I hope you like this chapter! <3