𝐋𝐆𝐁𝐓𝐄𝐀. | taekook

19. | take my pain away

CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, STRONG MENTION/USAGE OF DRUGS, AND ANGST

—

"Do-Don't do-do it, an-angel."

Jungkook's teary eyes snap up from the needle and he's just lucky enough to dodge Taehyung's swing as he knocks the needle out of the brunette's grasp, sending it crashing against the bathroom floor. Taehyung frowns at Jungkook and the younger feels shame burn his veins, setting him alight and burning him for attempting to do such an awful thing.

"Don't you d-dare do it." Taehyung warns him, propping himself up until he's resting against the bathroom wall, throwing a lazy arm across his stomach as he tries to control his heavy breathing.

Jungkook looks down at his lap and then at the abandoned needle across the floor, eyes stinging with fresh tears again. He wouldn't have actually done it, right?

"How-How does it feel?"

Taehyung's eyes completely widen in shock at the sudden question. He's not entirely sure how to answer Jungkook's question; he's not entirely sure if Jungkook is completely sane right now; he's not entirely sure whether he's on the verge of death.

"H-How does what feel?" Taehyung replies, wiping the few stray tears from his eyes. As he waits for Jungkook to muster up a response, Taehyung rolls down his sleeve to cover the marks on his arm. "Angel?"

"W-When you do that to yourself... what does it feel like? Afterwards?"

Taehyung's sad stare lingers on Jungkook for a couple seconds, noticing how broken the brunette looks, too. His eyes are puffy from crying, his cheeks are rosy, his hands are shakily clasped together, his head is tipped back as his heavy pants fill the quiet atmosphere.

They're both so broken.

"I-It hurts, I think," Taehyung whispers, searching his memory to remember how the entire process feels. He can't seem to think, though. "Only for a few seconds... and-and then it feels numb."

Jungkook's facial expression is hard to read. He looks completely monotone – no expression evident on his face. That scares Taehyung a little.

"What-What about after? What does it feel like after?"

"Like nothing matters anymore," Taehyung says, feeling fresh tears rise in his eyes again. Jungkook softly nods along, listening carefully to everything the older says. "N-No pain... no fear or emotion. It all fades along w-with me."

Taehyung takes the needle from the ground and throws it in the trash can beside the sink, knowing he's wasting the substance but he couldn't care at all right now.

Jungkook still doesn't make eye-contact with the blonde. He feels like Taehyung's judging, disappointing eyes are roaming his broken form, glaring daggers into him for being so reckless and stupid.

"I-I wasn't gonna do it." Jungkook sadly lets out, opening his eyes.

Taehyung softly nods and offers a sad smile.

"I don't blame you if you wanted to," Taehyung mumbles, and Jungkook just manages to hear it and stares at the blonde with starry eyes. "But I don't want you addicted to it."