Chapter Twenty-Five: Moving On

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I wish I could say everything changed after that, after Cort and I shared a moment of some weird understanding inside of a storage closet. But, not that the way it works and that's not the way it happened. The next day at rehearsal, nothing went back to normal. The techies and the actors still isolated themselves from each other and I still didn't really talk to anyone but Abbi, Lis, and my techies. It wasn't that I'd given up on the idea of revenge or anything, if anything it was more necessary now then ever before, but there was no way I could hang out with them without betraying Lexi and that was the last thing I wanted to do. As for where I stood, I wasn't mad at Cort for acting like he had. I mean, it wasn't right, but he hadn't snapped because of a chair. He'd done it because of what he knew was waiting for him at home because of the chair and I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him for that. I still avoided him, just like all the other actors, because even if I wasn't mad my loyalty would always fall with the techies. Always. I'd never be an actor, not for real.

Slowly though, rehearsals got less tense. It helped that a couple of days later Ror came up to Lexi with a box of little homemade brownies and an apology. Plus, the show really was coming up and we needed each other to be able to do our jobs and pull it off, no matter how mad we may have been at each other. So, we moved past it. I mean, techies were still really rude to Cort, but he was also really rude to them so it balanced out a little. And the rest of everyone moved on, which was the important part anyway.

I didn't really talk to anyone in that group, except for Ror of course because she's actually too nice to ever really ignore, until opening night though. Max and I were waiting backstage before 4.2 and, at first, it was like every other rehearsal since The Chair Fiasco. We stood in an awkward silence looking everywhere, but at each other. 

Then, he broke the silence, "You nervous?"

It was a simple question, but I was still confused, "We're four acts into the opening show, I feel like the time to be nervous has definitely passed"

He smiled the little dare of a smirk and I realized how much I'd missed seeing that smile, seeing it directed at me, "Maybe. But in the first four acts you didn't make out with a guy in front of a crowd."

"Uh" I scoffed, "We do NOT make out on stage. It's a kiss and not even a real one at that."

"Oh, it's not?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"No. We have never kissed. Edmund and Goneril have kissed. Therefore, it's not real."

"Sure feels real"

"It's not real when everyone knows it doesn't mean anything. That's why it's called performing. You say things on stage, you do things on stage, and none of it means a thing. It's not us up there." I forced a little laugh, "That's kinda why they call it acting"

He held my gaze for a moment, not responding for a while. Then he grabbed my hand, reaching out and holding it in his and for a second it looked like he was about to say something. But he never did. We heard the last line of 4.1 through the door and it didn't matter anymore, we had a show to put on.

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