Shaped Me

Hands to Myself

Chapter Ten: Manny

Outside. Sending Nile I text I park in front of the house. On a typical day I would go in but my mind is reeling from tryouts. I made the first round of cuts but the group dance is a little more technical than I expected it to be. I haven't taken lessons since middle school and although I remember most of what I learned it's still difficult. Plus on top of that all of my teachers seem to be conspiring against me because the amount of homework I have has to be illegal.

You coming in?- Bubs. The God awful nickname I gave him flashed on my phone. He hates it and more times than not has tried to change it but I've always changed it back. It just sticks.

Can't. Positive Im failing already. Truth is honors classes are no joke and all of the teachers I have this year either hate their jobs or believe that this generation has it too easy. Either way all of them behave as though they have something to prove. On top of that Coach Santos is very serious about the dance team. Our team isn't even together yet and we've done more conditioning in two weeks than we did all last season. Every part of me hurts and the only people I've seen consistently are Janet and Coach Santos. Both of whom I am growing tired of.

If I don't make the team at least my spleen would stop hurting. Adjusting myself in the seat I look at all the random candy wrappers all over the floor, evidence of the stress living in my body. High School is not supposed to be this hard. All of the tv shows I've watched over the years are complete lies and I need someone to pay me back. Aren't I supposed to barely be going to school and dealing with clique issues? Instead, all I do is homework and try to avoid spontaneously combusting from stress.

"Hey!"

" How long have you been there?" Rolling down the driver side window I come face to face with a very amused Nile.

"You didn't seem ? I've been telling you to roll down the window for awhile."

"Should've knocked." Shrugging I try to stop myself from smiling. It still amazes me how easily he can make me smile and he didn't even do anything.

" So you can punch the steering wheel again?"

"That was one time." Touching the steering wheel lightly I let my fingers move along the curve of it. Focusing on it helps me to stop myself from looking at Nile and smiling like an idiot. His bag is sitting in the back seat right where he left it yesterday. Rides home are how we spend time together because I go to school before him and we have no classes together. We don't even have the same lunch period. With both of our teams having tryouts and just adjusting to our schedules seeing each other hasn't been the easiest. Reaching back I grab the backpack and push it out the window. Taking the bag he puts it on before sticking his head completely into the car.

"That's it?"

"Yeah. You just needed you're bag right."

"Yeah but I wanted to show you something. Come here." Searching his face to see if he's being serious. "Please."

"Five minutes." Smiling he pulls he moves back letting me open the door. I barely lock the car before Nile pulls me to the backyard. Thankfully the lights are off and he can't see the bunnies on my pajama pants. "What are you showing me."

"Nothing just wanted to spend some time with you."

    "So you say you have to show me something." Laughing I take a step back looking at him.

    "Okay next time I'll just kiss you. Like this." Before I can prepare myself his lips are on mine. Nothing about Nile requires a second thought. Sometimes it scares me how out of control I feel around him. Resting my hands on his chest I don't miss the soft moan that simples from his lips. Licking my bottom lip I grant him access without any hesitation. There it is again giving in without even a second thought. Nothing about this can be okay. A person should not be able to have this much power over another individual. When the need for air becomes pressing he pulls away. Thank you maybe now I'll be able to form coherent thoughts.

    However, Nile doesn't seem to care about my inability to think clearly or the fact that my pulse is definitely not following a rhythm anymore. Brushing lips lightly on my neck he pushes my hair aside before focusing on the sensitive area. What are rational thoughts and how does one form them?

    "Pizza's her- uh never mind." Pushing Nile off I try to hide my embarrassment. Nile doesn't seem to care because instead of separating he keeps his arms around me. "You staying for dinner Manny?" Jake asked amused.

    "Nah she got homework," Nile answered as I try to teleport anywhere but here. At least it was Jake. Moving to his side, I try to take as much attention away from myself as possible. What do they say to make yourself small?

    "Bye Manny." Jake sings enjoying my embarrassment. Sticking my hand out from behind Nile's back I wave.

    "What are you doing?" Laughing he pulls me from behind him. Nile's smile is almost too big for his face. Fighting the urge to poke his dimples.

    "Hiding."

    "Why?"

    "Love your brother but I don't really want to give him a show." There it is again the deep rumble that makes all the pieces come undone. My favorite sound. His laugh is the  kind of laugh that came from deep within. The pure sound coming from his lips can make you forget just about anything.

    "Do you know how many times I've caught him and Lex just before clothes hit the floor." Hiding my face in his shoulder I try to shake the image of Lex and Jake. Not that Lex keeps any of it a secret from me but still. " But enough about them. Kissing  isn't the only reason I wanted to see you."

    Head to the side I find that hard to believe. Sensing my disbelief he takes a step back, bumping into the wall. Recovering quickly he threw his hands up in surrender.

    "See keeping my hands to myself." He said shoving them in the pockets of his grey joggers. I don't want him to.

    "Okay so why'd you want to see me?"

    Shrugging "I don't know. Just feel like I haven't."

"I saw you yesterday." Biting the insides of my cheeks I hold on to the smile trying to break it's way out. There is no reason to smile yet here I am.

"So." Reaching out he pulled my hand into his playing with my fingers one at a time. Tracing them and bending each finger. So much for keeping his hands to himself. Shifting my weight I wait for him to finish. The space between us seemed to catch the words as we spoke. Talking about the random parts of our days. He told me about everything happening with the team and I told him about just how much I am hating my classes. He kept my hand firmly in his but never closed the distance between us. Ignoring the flutters in my stomach as he tickled my palm I listened as he filled me in about his talk with Aria.

"Come on." Intertwining our hands I let him pull me along. If my energy were a battery I'm sure there is only one bar left. Swallowing the yawn and blinking back the sleep I ignore my protesting legs. Yet another reminder that my coach is satan. The front of the house is significantly brighter than the back. Adjusting to the change I shake my pockets relieved to hear the sound of my keys.

    Pulling me into him I wrap my arms around his waist on instinct. Returning the embrace we stood there. Tilting my head up I watch as he looked behind me. Giving me the opportunity to stare at him without him looking back but soon his eyes shift and find mine. Turning I don't miss the light chuckle before his lips touch my forehead. Releasing me he slips his hand into my pocket pulling the keys out.

    "Text me when you get home, okay?" I nod stupidly. Someday I am going to need to learn the art of communication. It has been deemed a worthy skill in today's society and maybe I needed to learn it. Truth is Nile still makes me nervous. I don't know how to do this. As messed up as it may sound, last year it was easy. With Darren constantly lingering over our heads we never got the chance to just be. That's the thing about when bad things are happening you spend so much time trying to survive you forget that sometimes life is about more than that. What if we don't feel the way we think we do? What if the adrenaline from everything just amplified our feelings?

    Trying to shake the feelings I looked at the boy in the rearview mirror watching as my car drove down the street. Hands in his pocket and hair longer than when we first met. The sight calming me instantly. It has to be real.