An Abundance of Robins

chapter two

Totally thought I would be updating sooner than this...N E ways, here is a random, very short update to hold y'all over. I told ya I would crank out some chapters this weekend.

ALSO I HAD LIKE 75% OF THIS WRITTEN BUT WATTPAD DIDN'T SAVE IT AND I AM PISSED. So sorry this is so short but I couldn't remember what I had written so this is all I could come up with for this chapter and I also felt like that was a good place to end it.

"Who are you?"

"I am the Red Hood."

"...we understand that, but what is your civilian name?"

Red Hood snorted. "Like I would tell you that. C'mon, be real."

"Fine then, what is your relationship with Batman?"

Red Hood smirked, leaning forward onto his elbows. "I'm his undead son, his biggest mistake, and his greatest failure."

Red Robin sighed very dramatically. "Do you have to be such a drama queen, Hood? So you died, big whoop. That doesn't make you B's 'greatest failure'."

Red Hood nodded sagely. "You're right, his greatest failure is knocking up the demon's mom and producing him."

So now we know Robin is a biological son...

Do we though? Red Hood could very well be a liar.

He's not, look at his body language. Everything he is saying is the truth.

Only one way to know for sure...

"Zatara, sir, do you mind putting the truth spell on them?" M'gann asked politely, gesturing to the 'guests'.

"Certainly." Zatara muttered a spell, casting it over the three 'guests'.  "There, they will be unable to speak anything but the truth from now on. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go check in on my daughter."

Zatara left, leaving Hood, Red Robin, and Robin under his spell with the team and the few Justice Leaguers that showed up to stand watch. Wonder Woman took a seat across from the three figures, pulling her lasso out and wrapping a little bit around one of each of their wrists.

"There, for extra caution." She reasoned.

"Damn, y'all really don't trust us." Hood scoffed. "Why don't you have M'gann and J'onn read our minds while you're at it, huh?"

"They've been trying, you just don't have a mind for them to penetrate." Damian growled.

"Ew, not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate', Robin." Red Robin scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Why? What is wrong with the word?"

"Its nasty, almost on the same level as 'moist'." Red Hood nodded his head in agreement to Red Robin's words.

What even are these people...?

How did Batman from the future ever work with them?

Didn't you hear? They are his children.

Yeah, if we can believe them.

"Are you really Batman's children?" Dick snapped, glaring through his domino mask at the three as they continued to discuss gross sounding words.

They stopped, turning in sync to stare at the original Robin. "Yes."

"What are your names?"

"If we answer that question fully, we will reveal Batman's identity. Do you want that?" Red Robin expertly avoided the question.

They got us there. Its up to you and Batman, Rob.

Dick turned to Batman, having a silent conversation with their eyes. Dick huffed. "Whisper your names in my ear. Your full names." Dick went up to each of them and received their names, keeping his expression neutral as he did so. He turned to Batman and gave a subtle nod. "Okay, so, we will need DNA samples to prove that you really are who you say you are."

"Go right ahead, I have nothing to hide." Red Hood smirked.

"Hood! Zip it!" Red Robin snapped. "Again with jeopardizing the future!"

"My future is pretty much set in stone. Its only yours and demons over here that could be affected."

"Why do you two call Robin demon?" Artemis asked, gesturing to the smallest one.

"Because he is stabby." Both the Reds answered at the same time.

"And he has tried to kill us." Red Robin added.

"Multiple times per day." Red Hood nodded.

"Hey! Hood has tried to kill every member of the family on numerous occasions and none of you call him demon!" Robin snarled.

"Yeah, we call him asshole instead." Red Robin shrugged.

"Plus, my mother isn't Talia al Ghul." Red Hood snapped, forgetting they had an audience. It became so silent that one could almost hear a pin drop. Both the Robins from the future turned slowly to glare at Red Hood, who had a look between horror and amusement on his face. "Oops?"

"Wait! Batman has sex with Talia al Ghul? And they have a child!?" Wally wheezed.

"Who said Robin was one of the biological children of Batman, eh?" Red Hood sniffed.

"You did." Everyone responded at the same time.

"Damn, you got me there."

"This...this is crazy." Artemis turned to her teammates. "I never want to hear anything about my lineage again, because Batman is going to have a child with Talia freaking al Ghul!"

"Good going, Hood." Red Robin hissed.

Red Hood just shrugged. "What harm can it do? I'm pretty sure he was conceived by this point anyways."

"Not the point! What if Batman takes him as an infant, huh? What if he never takes us in?"

Red Hood paused, a flicker of something flashing across his face before he fixed his expression. "So what? My future is bleak, maybe not being a Robin will fix that."

"My god, you are the most selfish asshole I have ever met."

"And don't you forget it."

"When we get out of Diana's lasso, I am going to kick your ass."

"Keep telling yourself that."