Path to Destiny

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

War is far easier to comprehend when it's a concept in a book. A piece of history from which you can distance yourself. War is so much easier when it doesn't involve you.

War is not so easy when it does involve you.

It's also not so easy when your opponent is an immortal shadow army led by a power-crazed queen.

There was no history book I could think of which gave me any hints as to how I should cope with this reality.

I closed my eyes in the safety of my room. Everyone was making preparations for the coming journey, but all I could do was think about the world around me, the torches illuminating my crystal ceiling, or the cacophony of the servants outside discussing portable meals. Simple happenings. Simple thoughts.

Someone knocked on the door, and I opened it to see Titus.

All my simple thoughts disappeared, replaced with the nagging terror of the truth of our relationship.

His face looked ragged from exhaustion. Dark circles crowded his eyes, and his clothes were wrinkled. I let him in, and we curled up together on the couch. We didn't say anything for a long time.

Titus set his forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

I brought my hand up to stroke his hair. He smelled like earth and the lemon-scented soap Ezra proudly imported from Tekin. "You have nothing to apologize for," I told the prince. "It's me who should say sorry."

He stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"I..." I hesitated. The truth of Ezra's words pounded in my head. Your love for the prince will destroy him. I swallowed and made up an excuse. "I'm sorry that I left the Underground without saying goodbye," I finally said. "I know that upset you."

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "I was the one who didn't say goodbye, and you know it."

I bit my lip. I couldn't do it. If I told him... My heart squeezed.

It was then that I realized that the heart I worried most about was my own. You never think about others. Even though Titus said those words in a state of anger caused by his sylph magic -- caused by me -- his words still cut.

He was right. I was so focused on myself. If I told him, I wouldn't be able to bear the burden of his pain -- or mine.

I closed my eyes and decided then. I would not tell him until I was prepared to separate from him. Forever.

I forced the tears back inside me, keeping them at a far distance. Titus rubbed his thumb over the palm of my hand. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't respond. I couldn't keep back the tears. I had to do this -- for him.

I had to make him stay in the Underground and leave for Balua without him. It was for his own safety.

"I'm fine," I finally choked out. "I'm just happy to be with you."

Titus smiled at me. "I am too."

I felt as though I would bleed out from the spear that pierced through my heart.

***

It took a few nights for my body to heal from the Shadow's wounds. It was last night that Synnove used Shula to tell Queen Astera about the war preparations; she also gave instructions to warn Aria and Nor. Meanwhile, Ezra and Baruch led military preparations in the Underground, stockpiling weapons, food, and medicine.

I curled up on the outcropping overlooking the central hall. People milled back and forth, and I spotted Baruch leading a group of refugees inside. The need for sanctuary became so great that Baruch had commandeered squadrons over the past few days, taking Clarice to claim slave camps and caravans before the shadow army overran the country.