SAMSON: Curious Boys #3 (Boys of Porn)

SIX

Just off the studio was a small dressing room. Gideon motioned Samson inside. "You can change in here."

Samson nodded and Gideon closed the door, leaving him alone in the room. A white robe and a pair of white boxer briefs were folded and waiting for him on the short counter before a long, horizontal mirror. Samson stripped down and pulled on the briefs, which were a little snug but did wonders for his package. He gazed at his reflection as he slipped into the robe, the white apparel accentuating his deep tan.

Leaning forward on the counter, Samson peered into his own eyes, searching for something—anything—to explain this unfamiliar "energy" surging through him. He felt unbalanced as if he were suddenly freefalling with no power to control his descent and no idea where he might strike down—or if it would be a fatal landing.

His brow tightened and eyes narrowed as he struggled to look deeper inside himself. The twins consumed his thoughts. His body—his hetero body up until now—burned for them.

Just your body?

Samson trembled. He wasn't accustomed to this emotional disorientation. He always maintained control of his mind and body. But now, everything seemed to function of its own free will and he had no idea how to reign it back in . . . or if he even wanted to.

"Samson?" Gideon knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Gideon entered and stood just inside the doorway. "We're ready for you."

Nodding slowly, Samson looked at his reflection again.

"Are you all right?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah." Samson continued to stare into the mirror. "I just. . ." He licked his lips. ". . . need a minute."

"Of course." Gideon frowned with concern. "Are you having second thoughts? Because, as I explained when we first spoke, you are in full control, from start to finish. If at any moment, you decide that you want to stop, then we'll stop. You're under no obligation to take this any further than you want to go."

Samson faced the man. "I'm not having second thoughts. Not at all. It's just that . . . the twins . . ."

His frown deepening, Gideon asked, "Do you want to switch co-stars?" Doubt etched his brow and Samson understood why—who in their right mind would turn away the twins?

Samson smiled. "Absolutely not. Those two are magnificent." He hesitated then shifted his eyes back to the mirror.

"Yet, something is bothering you," Gideon murmured. "You can confide in me. Whatever you say will remain between us." When Samson didn't immediately reply, Gideon closed the door and approached him. "When I created this segment, it was never meant to be just about sex. Often, when a man experiences these types of curiosities, it stems from a deeper sexual identity issue. At least, I believe so. My purpose—my hope—for this segment was that it would not only offer a physically safe place for one to explore their feelings and desires, but also an emotionally safe place. I've met many young men—and some not so young—who believe these feelings are a phase and if they do the deed once, it'll get out of their system. That is rarely the case."

"How does that apply to me?" Samson wondered aloud. "I didn't come here because I was . . . craving men. I was curious about the scientific aspect of same-sex attraction but hadn't experienced that attraction myself. I understand what you're saying, and I think it's a great thing you're doing, providing a safe space for men to figure out who they are. But I know who I am, and I'm not confused about my sexuality." As the words flowed out so smooth and confident, something deep inside balked at the statement.