Goodbye Soul (Get Scared fanfic)

My head was spinning

    Looking out the car window, I feel like I'm on the verge of death. The cars are all driving so fast. Somehow I've never noticed before. I glance at the speedometer. 33 miles per hour. We're not even going that fast yet it feels were going at the speed of sound. The two-way street made me shout and close my eyes tightly... and swing my arm to "protect" Johnny from the incoming cars that, according to my brain, we're gonna kill us both. I don't think I'm going to be able to drive ever again. How am I gonna make it back to Salt Lake? I'm gonna have to get high as hell, or be sedated, neither of which sound like good options.

"The fact that you just tried to save me from your own fear, warms my heart," Johnny smiles, referring to my arm across his chest. 

I bring my arm back towards myself. Well, that was slightly embarrassing. "How much further?" I ask with a groan as I feel my brain become lighter as if it was spinning out of my head.

"Like 3 minutes," he says, "It's on the next left."

I look ahead; the road looks endless. I don't even see a left turn anywhere.

As my hands start to close themselves into deformed fists out of the uncontrollable terror in my body, I desperately try to open the window. I need air. I NEED AIR. 

"Pull over..."

"What?"

"PULL OVER PLEASE!" I scream. He drives into the shoulder of the road and stops. As soon as he sets the car into park, I swing the door open and jump out. After a few steps and a few breaths, my stomach decides it doesn't want its acids anymore and forces me to throw up the food I didn't eat today.

It burns. But this burning sensation is the only thing I've felt besides extreme horror since I got in this car and it's almost relieving.

Johnny gets out of the car and walks up to me. He sets his right hand on my back. "You good?"

I cough up more vomit before I could even try to answer. I don't even know what my body is rejecting, I haven't eaten in 2 days. I think I'm just dying at this point. I'm going to spill my guts until I'm just a bag of skin lying on the side of the road.  When I'm done, I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and deeply inhale. I stand up straight and turn towards the car. Anger suddenly surges through my body. Anger towards the driver of that truck. Anger towards myself for distracting Nick. Anger for leaving him alone. He needs me and I fucking left. 

Kicking the tire of the car, I release some of the pent up anger with a loud "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" I hate this car, I hate this random fucking town we're stranded in and most importantly I hate myself for being so fucking weak. 

Johnny just stares at me as I throw my little temper tantrum on the side of the road.

"Can I just walk the rest of the way?"I ask, only semi-jokingly. 

"Not unless you want to get hit by a car," He answers.

"That's not funny."

"Sorry," he says. He opens the car door and pulls out a cup from Mcdonald's. "Drink. You gotta stay hydrated." 

"What is it?" I ask, taking the cup.

He answers, "Watered-down Coke. And yes I realized how gross that is, but it's better than you passing out."

"I don't know, passing out sounds kind of nice right now," I laugh as I start to drink the nasty Coca Cola that's probably been sitting in his car since this morning.  "God, I really don't want to get back in the car."

"I Know. It's okay, we can just chill here for a bit."

I lean my back against the car and look past the horizon. It's beautiful; the sky turning different shades of pink, purple and orange as the sun begins to set. It's calming actually. It's been so long since I've watched the sunset, it's criminal. I'm always so busy and stressed and worried that I forget to just stop and enjoy things like this. 

Once it's dark outside, we get back into the car and start driving to the hotel again. It's only 3 minutes Lloyd, get yourself together.

I close my eyes and lean against the window, trying to make myself forget that I'm in a car. It's not working. In fact, I could argue that it's getting worse because now I can see images in my head much more vividly. Thank you, imagination, this is exactly what I exercised you for. Not music or art. Nah, to make traumatic experiences worse and scarier.  

"AAaaaaaaaand, we're finally here," Johnny states as he pulls into a parking space in front of a really tall building.

"THANK GOD!" I jump out of the car and curse at it. 

The two of us head into the hotel together and he leads me towards the elevator, he hits the "up" button and we proceed to wait for it to come. I look at the floor number it's on. The red digits say it's all the way up on the 10th floor. 

The rest of the Lobby is rather empty. Such a large place and no one is in it besides the employees who look just about ready to leave.

Once the elevator doors open, we step inside and Johnny presses the button with the 5 on it. 

The room number is 534. When he opens the door, I see the room has two beds, a couch, and a giant flat-screen TV  two nightstands, a table accompanied by two chairs, and a wardrobe. This is the biggest hotel room I've ever been in. How are they affording this with a musician's paycheck? Guess the professional Emmy nominee cosmetologist makes enough money to pay this off. 

Georgette greets me with a friendly smile, "Hey Lloyd, You feelin' better?"

"Eh not really."

She frowns and stops to think for a moment. "You wanna try CBD?" She asks me, "It's not a permanent solution, but it might help you relax enough to sleep." 

CBD is legal. People say it helps relieve numerous amounts of things, like anxiety, migraines, nausea, insomnia... PTSD. It's non-addictive, so that's a plus. And I reeeeaallly need some sleep.

"Yes, please."

She pulls out a small bottle made of glass from her purse. She grabs the water bottle on the nightstand that was yet to be opened and puts some of the CBD in it. She shakes the bottle and is about to hand it to me. 

"Before I let you drink this, you have to promise you won't become dependent on it and that you'll get professional help to deal with all this," she says.

"I promise." She tosses the bottle to me. "Thank you."

After I drink this so-called "miracle worker," I go to the restroom to finally shower after being a filthy pig for what feels like years.  As I start to strip down, I glance at the mirror, once again feeling like I don't recognize myself. Logically, I know it's me. There's no one else in the bathroom, so I'm the only option, yet something still feels off about my reflection. It's distorted. Or is my memory of what I look like distorted? I shrug it off and get in the shower.

Honestly, taking a shower has never felt this good. All the sweat and dirt that has been slowly building up on my skin is getting washed down the drain. I'm starting to notice how much I've taken this for granted.  I hope being able to lay down on that bed is gonna feel just as good if not better than this, so I can finally sleep. 

Once I get out of the shower (finally feeling clean) and get dressed in the PJs that I had shoved into my backpack, I head back into the room. 

Johnny abruptly moves away from Georgette. Her face turns slightly red as she awkwardly laughs. 

"Y'all better not fuck while I'm in here," I laugh.

"Oh shut up, it'd be free porn," Johnny jokes.

Georgette punches Johnny in the arm playfully. "You're sick!"

He laughs, and so does she. 

I finally lay down. The mattress embraces me as the pillows hold me gently. The sheets are still slightly cold and soothing. It's actually becoming difficult to keep my eyes open despite the lights and TV still being on. 

God knows when or how, but I finally managed to fall asleep.

(A/N yay Lloyd finally gets a break...for now)