for June

35a. for June

He had sweaty palms, breathing short and shallow, like he'd run a marathon, but he hadn't. He'd run in to grab his lucky charm he'd never gone to any book launches or parties without. Terry always organised a new shindig for every one of his new releases. Tonight was one of those nights, and he needed that charm, he needed all the charm and luck tonight. He was feeling more nervous than usual.

He rummaged through the desk drawers. Scanned the bookshelves, or peered under piles of folders, nervously eyeing his sister standing at the front door, baby in hand, glaring at him, or what little of him she could see.

"Hurry up, Chad!" she yelled, pacifying the wailing baby. "You will be late for your own party."

"It's not a party," he yelled back, correcting her. "And I can't find it," he added, feeling like he was profusely sweating into his fresh shirt. "God, and now I need a fresh shirt!"

"You don't need a fresh shirt," Jo yelled back. Behind her, Tom honked the horn. "What you need is to get your ass out here."

Chad could hear Tom, "What the hell is taking him so long? Here, give Ciara to me, and go help him along."

"Are you trying to get Terry to kill you?" Jo hovered at the study door, watching Chad pace in front of his desk. "Where do you normally keep Mr Panther?" she finally asked.

Chad pointed in the general vicinity of his bookshelf. "He's always there."

Jo scanned the bookshelf quickly, more aware of the time than he was obviously. The launch started at six. Terry would briefly give a talk, as usual, welcome the press and the guests alike, and then introduce Chad, as Zachary Eve, at around six-fifteen.

"It's already five-thirty, Chad. This is not the best time to be having a crisis because you can't find the Pink Panther toy you use as a talisman when speaking in public." She was saying as she walked around the room, her eyes skimming the surfaces.

Chad continued to rifle through papers and such with no clear direction.

"Chad, I'm not kidding. You will be late. I should have told you this years ago." She grabbed him by his shoulders and talked to him as if he were a child. "Mr Panther is just a toy. He has no powers to calm your nerves, or to make your speeches go swimmingly. I made that shit up. As a kid, it was cute to watch you fill with confidence when you had him in your hand. As an adult, it was no longer cute."

Chad shrugged her off. "I know that. I'm not a child. It's a habit. He makes me feel comfortable." He glanced around the room one last time.

"Bloody hell, Chad, just move it." Jo pushed him out the door. "You're a man. Be a man."

"But."

"You don't have time for this shit." She closed the study door behind them and continued pushing him towards the front door. "June might be there tonight. You want to miss that?"

Chad resigned to the pushing and walked out of his own volition. "You don't know if she will be."

"No. I don't. So go do your thing."

♡

Chad paced the corridor outside the toilets. It was going swimmingly so far. They'd arrived minutes before six. Tom had booted all passengers out of his car to go find parking on his own so Chad could get in on time. Tom didn't have to wait too long as Terry had reserved a spot for their car.

Chad had arrived just as Terry was about to lose her shit. Then she'd smiled through gritted teeth and given him a look of disapproval before turning on her charm and taking the stage. Moments later Chad had followed her, said many things, mostly unfiltered mumbling like the buffoon he was, eliciting some laughter to mark his success. He did his usual spiel of why he wrote the book, and then told the guests to enjoy the night, and not to leave without a signed copy.