Chapter 3: The Collector Of Worlds

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Barry didn’t normally mind sleeping, he
enjoyed it actually, being able to snuggle up next to Kara and wrap his arms around the women was something he would never stop loving. But he was afraid of dreaming.

His mind did it when his mother died and after the shit with Zoom, and he knew that his nightmares would get worse with his trauma and he avoided sleeping just because he was afraid of how bad it was bound to get after this mountain of new ones. But he didn’t have much of a choice, he hadn't slept in days, and he didnt want to worry Kara, so he attempted to get some rest.

He knew he’d have a nightmare but that self-awareness didn’t stop him from having one. His subconscious kept on showing him his father, kept on trying to convince him of things that he said, like that he was disappointed in him and that he could’ve done more. Barry kept hearing his mothers screams of terror, his fathers heartbeat slow and stop.

He felt like he was being crushed, choked, set on fire, drowned, all at the same time and forced himself to wake up, gasping for breath. His lungs begged for air and he desperately tried to stop himself from shaking. His eyes were blurred with hot tears and he frantically wiped them away to see Kara sitting up next to him, and she began to rub his back soothingly.

...

It was on the second night trying to get some sleep Barry started hallucinating.
 
Barry was a smart man, so when he opened his eyes after going to the kitchen to get a drink, and saw his father sitting at the table, he knew it wasn't real. But just because he wasn't real, didn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell to see him. 

The man looked like he always did. He was smiling, and all Barry could do was tighten his grip on glass in his hand and try to stop the burning in his eyes. "I'm sorry," He cried, turning his gaze away from the imaginary man. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you." 

"It's not your fault." The nonexistent Henry told him, as tears started to stream down Barry's face. "I promise you it's not your fault." 

"It should have been me." Barry told him, the tears still glistening in his eyes.

Henry's gaze on him never broken, and he just continued to smile at him with a deep sadness behind his eyes. "You have people who are still counting on you." He whispered. "People who still love you." 

Barry looked down at the glass shards across the floor from tightening his grip on the cup, and stayed there for a moment taking a deep breathe. When Barry finally found the strength to look up again, he was greeted with an empty room and a familiar silence which signified that Henry was really gone. 

When Kara woke a few hours later in the middle of the night, Barry was muttering words she couldn't understand. It was obvious he was having another nightmare. Kara hesitated a moment, then touched Barry's shoulder

"Barry?" With a scream the scarlett speedster woke up, sitting straight in bed. "Barry. Barry its ok, its me Kara."


Slowly his breathing returnd back to normal and he became calm. "Sorry. I didn't want you to see that." He said quietly.


"It's ok. Bad dreams?" Kara inquired.

Barry nodded "Every night."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Barry said as he ran his hands over his face. 

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