coke

Vada: First Interview Alone

I drank from my bottle as the reporter sat down to speak with me. I was nervous as shit to be honest. I was the only one that the record label could get ahold of. The interviewer smiled at me and then we were live.

"Welcome back to Sunday Sunshine with Marie Rogers. Today our special guest is Dusty Ramone from the Guns N Bang Bang."

"It's just Guns N Bang Bang not The Guns N Bang Bang." I whispered.

"Well alright so Dusty, how was your home experience when you were younger?" Marie asked in her annoyingly sweet fake ass voice. I almost recognized her from some where.

"I went to a Catholic school and I smoked, I drank and I got caught looking at a Playgirl magazine. Then I dropped out at fifteen and I moved to Boston then here." I said.

"You're 16 correct?" She asked.

"September fifth nineteen sixty-nine, you're correct." I said. I took my cigarettes out of my pocket and lit it up.

"People call you a feminist and a inspiration for young girls, same with the other girls in your band how do you respond to that?" The interviewer asked.

I was taken back by her words an inspiration? What kind of lunatic thinks me of all people is a inspiration to young girls. "I respond by saying that I hope they realize I'm not a good inspiration. I was a stripper for six months for f-BLEEP-cks sake and I've always done stupid things. But it's definitely an honor to hear that."

"I've been doing some research also and I've found that people think the things you do are unladylike how do you respond to those claims?"

"F-BLEEP-ck them because the don't know s-BLEEP-t they don't know s-BLEEP-t they don't know a God d-BLEEP-m thing about how hard it is to fit in when you're like me and y'know what who the hell made up those stupid rules on what is and what's not lady like? Whoever you are f-BLEEP-ck you and whoever agrees with you." I said calmy well no, I yelled like a lunatic.

"What issue of playboy are you on?"

"I don't know but I'm DAMN sexy in it." I said so fast they couldn't bleep it out. "I need some vodka get me some damn vodka."

"What's it like on tour? And what's it like on your off days?" Marie asks.

"On tour I sleep, I play bass, I get stoned and I have sex with anything that walks if they're hot and in a band. On my days off I do the same but at parties and then I drag one of my band mates to the store and raise hell there. Then I get arrested." I smiled.

"Is it true you blew up a bus and set fire to your ex's house?"

"Hell yeah it's true but the bus was an accident I didn't put my cigarette out and everyone was out of it. And the House burning he deserved it and he knew it was coming."

"Is it true your influence on teens has them burning American flags and getting 'Anarchy' tattooed by their no no places?"

"I dunno if I'm behind all that but I do have anarchy tattooed by my va-" she interrupted me by closing up the show.

"Alrighty ladies and gentlemen that's the end of our show tune in next week to speak with Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe."

"Okay bitch." I mumbled.