Restless

Chapter 11

Well, it seemed official; Sahara was seeing two men at once.

It was a first that she couldn't believe was happening. There was a very small part of her that felt a little bad about it, but she figured that as long as she was honest with them both, she wasn't really doing anything wrong. She wasn't married anymore or committed to anybody; there was no law that said she only had to date one man at a time.

Sahara was honest with both Jacob and Shannon that she wasn't ready for a heavy relationship or to be totally exclusive with anybody. As much she liked them both, she needed to keep things casual. All she really wanted to do for the time being was have some fun. They both seemed to understand that, given what she had been through. She was glad because she honestly didn't know which one of them she liked the most and wasn't ready to stop seeing either of them.

She practically gushed when she told her mother about her two suitors.

"Mama, I've never been in a position like this," she said over the phone one night. She was absentmindedly watching a movie while Rison slept in her room. "Two incredible men actually want me and I kind of want both of them back!"

Julia chuckled. "I guess there's nothing like being wanted. And there's no reason any man in his right mind wouldn't want you."

"Aww, thank you, Mama," Sahara said appreciatively. "They're both so smooth and have an alluring aura about them, but Jacob's is more in-your-face while Shannon's is more subtle. I don't know which one attracts me the most."

"You don't have to decide just yet. Just enjoy it. You deserve to have a good time. I just want to caution you, though, to be careful about what you do in front of Rison. While you have the right to date whoever you want, remember you have a daughter watching you. She doesn't need to see her mother with a parade of men coming in and out."

"Come on, Mama. You know I wouldn't have them up in here like that."

"I'm sure you wouldn't, baby. Don't take it personally. I just know how it is when you're in the beginning stages of a new relationship; you get so caught up in the thrill of it that you might not make the best choices. And especially in your case, since you're so new to all this because all you know is Kyle. I'm just saying to be mindful of it. That's all."

"You're right," Sahara admitted, calming down. She had actually started to take offense to what her mother was saying, thinking that her mother should know she would have more sense than that but when she thought about it, it was only right. She did need to watch what she did in front of Rison. Lord knows that little girl had enough to deal with as it was. It was gonna be difficult enough explaining that she was even going to be dating other men besides her father, let alone more than one. But she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

As it stood, it was still too early to even consider letting Shannon or Jacob around her daughter like that. Sure, Shannon had been there when they all went out to brunch on the day they met, but for all Rison knew, Shannon was with Charlie or just some man they were eating with. It's not like Sahara had been all hugged up with him. Shannon and Rison had gotten along well, though, so that was good.

Sahara really appreciated her mother for encouraging her and telling her the truth. And over the next few weeks, Julia had begun keeping Rison more because Sahara's had become busier with work. Sahara had to think that was in part thanks to Shannon's referrals. Things had started to pick up not too long after they met. It was just one more reason to like him.

Among her new clients was a very handsome man named Tony. He worked from home a lot and was usually holed up in his office while Sahara cleaned, but he would always come out when she was done and talk to her for a little while. One day out of the blue, he asked her out. While flattered, Sahara had to decline because she didn't really want to start dating her clients. It would just be too complicated.

But she couldn't deny that she was incredibly attracted to Tony. He was bow-legged, which Sahara had always loved on a man, with a neatly trimmed beard and some of the most beautiful dreadlocs she had ever seen. They were jet black and hung past his shoulders. Sahara found herself wanting to run her hands through them just to see how they felt.

She didn't know what was happening to her, being physically attracted to so many men at once. This was a definite first. Maybe before, she had been so focused on Kyle that she just didn't notice other men, but she certainly was now. She lusted after Jacob after just one date, a bear hug from Shannon had her panties wet, and now the scent of whatever oil it was Tony was wearing was causing her nipples to harden and making her want to lick her lips with a slow tongue.

Gosh, what had happened to her?

She was a healthy, heterosexual woman; it was only natural that her body would respond to attractive men. She couldn't imagine that there was anything really wrong with that. But this was all just so new to her; now there were three men roaming through her imaginary bedroom. Sahara could just imagine what scenarios would be coursing through her mind about Tony in addition to the ones already saturating it involving Jacob and Shannon. It just all seemed so...wicked. She couldn't help feeling a little guilty.

That night after she had gotten Rison into bed and taken a shower, she dropped to her knees and clasped her hands together tightly, praying for forgiveness for thinking sexual thoughts about three different men.