Restless

Chapter 22

Sahara was trying to get herself back on track. She had let a lot of things come unraveled during the past couple of months and now it was time to put it all back together.

The first thing she did was pray and ask God's forgiveness for her recent actions; her selfishness, the neglect of her child, the causal sex, and missing church because of it. Looking back on it, she didn't even recognize herself.

Julia and Charlie were also due profound apologies. She had taken advantage of them, misusing their encouragement and willingness to be there for her. They were more than willing to forgive her, and she counted herself thankful to have a mother and a friend like them in her life.

She also went and personally apologized to all of her clients for her unprofessional behavior, and was thankful when they forgave her, as well. She didn't know what she had been thinking, jeopardizing her business and livelihood like she did. And all because she wanted to go out and act like an irresponsible teenager. It might've been fun while it lasted, but it was time to act like the grown woman that she was again.

In keeping with that, the main person Sahara owed apologies to was her daughter. Her precious four-year-old little girl had suffered the most because of her irresponsible behavior. Whenever Sahara thought about Rison saying that she didn't want to live with her, it brought tears to her eyes. Those were truly words that she never ever wanted to hear from her child, especially this young. If she needed any motivation to get her things back in order and her priorities straight, that was it.

Rison became her main priority again, just like she had been before Sahara began all the dating. She would pick Rison up from school, help her with her homework, and they would spend quality time together doing things like going to the park, baking brownies, and playing the latest game Rison had made up. Sahara realized how much she had missed her little girl. She had been living in the same house with her, but it was like she hadn't even been seeing her for being so focused on what she wanted, or what she thought she wanted. Rison had become a mere obligatory part of her life, like doing chores or paying bills. And just like she would like to do with those things, she had been more than willing to pawn Rison off on somebody else. Sahara was just thankful that she realized what she was doing before too much damage was done to their relationship. She wanted to do whatever it took to make this up to Rison.

The first step towards this was eliminating some of her distractions, and that included breaking things off with Jacob and Tony. As much as she liked them, it just wasn't worth it. They were taking too much of her time and energy, and she obviously didn't have the discipline to deal with it all. She had jumped head-first into the multiple-men dating game with no experience and had let it take her away. She got caught up. It was something she could admit and something she could rectify.

Neither Jacob nor Tony was thrilled that she broke things off with them, but they could respect it because she had been honest with them from the beginning. Part of Sahara could admit that she would miss Tony's kisses and Jacob's spine-tingling sex, but other things were more important. She wanted one man in her life, if any, and she wanted to see where things could go with Shannon. He was the one man who never tried to push any kind of physical relationship with her before he really knew her. He was pleased when she told him that she wanted to see him exclusively.

"That's like music to my ears," he had said, giving her that gorgeous grin of his. "You know I was willing to wait for you, right?"

"Yeah, you proved that," Sahara responded. "That's why I wanted to stay with you. I appreciate your patience."

"Precious things are worth waiting for," he said, stroking the underside of her chin. Sahara blushed.

Shannon took her face in his large hands, looking adoringly into her light brown eyes. "So, I'm your man now?" A small smile graced his lips.

"I guess so," Sahara responded shyly with a smile of her own.

"So that means I can do more of this," he whispered, dropping his head and putting his lips on hers. It wasn't their first kiss but it sure felt like it. Sahara wanted to melt when he wrapped her up in those big, strong arms of his and kissed her like he had been waiting for her all his life. She could feel his respect and appreciation for her in that kiss. And she returned it with all of the same that she had for him. Her body responded to him, but not just her body; her soul did, as well. She knew she had made the right decision.

Kyle called Sahara a day or two later and asked if he could come and see Rison. Sahara readily agreed.

Rison was thrilled to see Kyle. She ran into his arms as soon as Sahara told her he was there. It was like the past couple of months of him not coming to see her had never happened. All that mattered was that he was there now. Kyle hugged his baby girl close to him, his eyes tearing up. He hadn't even realized how much he really missed her until she was in his arms. It tore him up that he had let someone like Wanda come between him and his daughter. That would never, ever happen again, with anybody.

He was also thankful that Rison was still young enough to so easily forgive and forget. Had she been a teenager, he might still be putting in some work to get back into her good graces. But now, all he had to do was show up.

Sahara just stood off to the side, smiling at the scene. She watched as Kyle held Rison's tiny hands in his and apologized for not seeing her more. He promised to do better. Sahara got a little choked up when Rison touched his face and said, "I forgive you, Daddy." She could tell Kyle was getting emotional, too, and that wasn't really like him.

"Mommy," Rison called out, climbing onto the sofa, "Does that mean that we can all live together again now?"

Sahara looked at Kyle as she sat next to Rison on the couch. She wanted to be honest but she hated to disappoint her again. Thankfully, Kyle stepped in.

"Listen, sweetheart," he said, sitting on her other side, "Your mommy and I are still divorced, so I'm still going to be living in another house. But that doesn't mean I won't be coming to see you and spending time with you like I used to."

"But why you two get divorced?" Rison asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

Sahara held her breath. This was one question that Rison had never asked. Kyle stepped up again.

"I hurt your mommy," he admitted, glancing up at Sahara. "And now I have to pay for it. But we both still love you very, very much. That's never going to change."

"That's right," Sahara agreed.

Rison looked back and forth between Kyle and Sahara. "How come you can't just tell Mommy you're sorry?" she asked Kyle.

"That's not a bad idea, actually," Kyle said, turning to look Sahara right in her eyes. Sahara looked back at him in mild surprise. "Sahara, I am sincerely, truly sorry for what I did to you. I just recently realized what a mistake I made. I really hope you can forgive me."

Sahara placed her hand on her chest, touched by her ex-husband's words. She could feel the sincerity in his words and she appreciated them more than she could say. She reached over and hugged Kyle; the first hug they had shared in over a year, even since before she found out about his infidelity. Rison just sat in the middle, looking back and forth between them. When Sahara pulled away, she smiled as tears streamed down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes.

"Thank you for that, Kyle," she said, pulling Rison to her and hugging her. "That's all I ever wanted."