FINE PRINT [✔]

Two

"Eric?"

"Mmm."

"Eric?"

"No," I said pulling covers over me and burring in further into the old bed.

"Eric!"

"What? What! " I exclaimed falling out of bed.

"Your husband almost burnt my kitchen. Wake up and do something. "

"Husband? " I mumbled from my pile of blankets on the floor.

"Yes, husband. You know the dreamy reason why you are sleeping here in the first place. "

"Right, of course, husband. " I mumbled.

Everything started coming back to me slowly. Like how I was broke and still needed to find a job. And apparently, I was officially a husband. To another human male. Who was not a robot as much as I wished he was? Maybe then I could have sold him online. Or pawned him off to someone else.

"Yeah yeah, I am waking up," I said rolling around on the floor as I tried to untangle my limbs.

"Great. I have to go, so deal with him. " Jules said before making a dash for it.

After finally finding my way out of the huge slump of blankets I slowly wandered into the kitchen trying to think of a solution that was more permanent. Maybe a how-to coexist with your husband manual would have been useful.

"Morning Eric." Timothy, my new husband said with a bright smile.

I grunted in response as my brain rebooted for a bit. Timothy stood in the centre of the small cosy kitchen in nothing but pyjama bottoms. All of a sudden I remembered why I had thought this was a good idea weeks ago. Timothy was tall, good looking and had a smile that Disney movies would like to buy. To describe him as hot would be a terrible injustice to his physique and aura. He was like the personification of Adonis. The word suave was probably accompanied by his image in the dictionary. Even the way he stood exuded attraction.

"I made breakfast." He said smiling at me expectantly.

As much as I wanted to respond. I still couldn't master anything. He made me feel a little disoriented and tongue-tied. And yet when I blinked and looked at him properly, I remembered the money I lost. After remembering my situation I made my way silently to the kitchen counter.

When Timothy said he made breakfast he meant he made breakfast for the whole town. The table was covered in plates and plates of what should have been mouthwatering food. Instead, there was a plate of burnt eggs, way too crispy bacon, soggy waffles and pancakes that looked almost normal. Only to mention a few of the atrocious looking clumps on plates spread across the counter.

I took a seat before the only empty sport. This was the moment of truth. Maybe the food would taste better than it looked. Hope was still a thing.

"Here let me. " Timothy said as he dished out food on to my plate.

"Thanks." I managed to say without looking up at him.

He smiled then proceeded to stand on the opposite end of the counter.

"So um. . . not to be crude or intruding or anything..." I said sipping the glass of juice I hadn't noticed until that second.

"Ask away after all I am yours now. " He said smiling like that was the best news ever.

"Yeah yes, that. Okay, look no offence or anything. I mean I obviously believe you are really attractive but like I gotta ask. Just in case...Are you human ?"

He actually let out an amused deep chortle. As if the possibility of not being human did not come across his mind.  Well, it certainly came across mine. What self-respecting human being allowed themselves to be sold to random strangers. And where would you even stay in the meantime? Bunk out in the factory with other strangers who thought it was okay to be sold.

"I mean you were not sold against your will, right? Because I know I am not a lawyer but that has to be illegal somewhere in the world. " I said looking at him with a serious face.

"Wait you are serious?" He said finally realising I was not joking at all.

"Yes, I am a human being the whole one heart and ten toes. And no I was not sold into slavery so don't worry about that."  He walked over to my side of the counter then placed a gentle kiss to my forehead before continuing, "Okay, I am going to take a shower. "

I watched his retreating form in silence. So this was really happening.  I was really married? My parents are going to be angry they were not invited to a wedding.  How did people even notify their parents about this? 'So mum and Dad I bought a husband?' Or like do they have a wiki how page on how to deal with your accidentally purchased gorgeous husband. No one prepared me for this part of adulting. I thought as I placed a bite of pancakes in my mouth. Bad decision. My expensive husband was a horrible cook.

All I thought about as I threw away the food he made was 'he better not be expensive to take care of'.