FINE PRINT [✔]

Nineteen.

I looked down at the shirt I wore and pulled on a loose hanging thread that seemed to be out of place. Being around Timothy was not a good idea. My heart had already been through enough. And yet...there I was.
I watched as Timothy interacted with the people around him. He acted as if this was his home and these people were his family. He spoke to them with such comfort and ease it made me squirm with uneasiness.

I pushed off the wall I was leaning on and walked towards the vending machine in the next room. The changing room from earlier. I placed my last coin and selected a pack of gum, strawberry flavour. I felt my lips stretch into a somewhat reluctant smile as I remembered why I suddenly liked strawberries. Timothy's cooking never got better but after I mentioned that strawberries taste great with pancakes he never forgot to place them in the meal. And up until the last time he cooked for me strawberry pancakes were the only thing he cooked well.

I picked the gum from the slot in the machine and headed back. Timothy was still laughing and smiling with a look of pure bliss on his face. Suddenly I felt a pang of jealousy pierce my heart. He was supposed to laugh like that because of me. Not because of a group of strangers that gave him a temporary home. 

My feet moved of their own accord and I ended up face to face with him. He stared at me startled and a little confused. I looked around just to make sure that he was done.

"Do you...want to grab some coffee? Or a Boba, whatever?"

His lips quirked up for a brief second before he said his farewell's to his coworkers.

He sauntered ahead of me and back into the changing room then proceeded to change silently without a single word uttered between us. My gaze fell on something on his dresser...a library card. I instinctively moved closer and gently lifted it. It was my library card one I had gotten after the other librarian tried to throw me put for visiting Timothy at work. I glanced towards him and gently placed it back.

He kept my library card. He kept it close. Closer than necessary. This small piece of plastic was my saving grace. The one block of courage I needed to know I was doing the right thing. Timothy deserved to hear me say it out loud at least once.

The sound of my phone ringing was loud and jarringly pulled me back to reality. I turned to Timothy and saw a fleeting look of guilt cross his face as his gaze fell upon the library card. He looked at me then looked back at it as if trying to figure out what to say. Then with a look of conviction, he squared his jaw and said.

"Arent you going to answer that?"

My heart sank when I realised his words had nothing to do with us. All I wanted was him to acknowledge that there was still a chance for us. That he hadn't signed some contract to go home with a new person.

I fumbled with my phone angrily realising that it was still ringing and the ringtone was obnoxiously irritating. The funny thing about ringtones they are very irritating if they don't go along with the mood. I slid the flashing icon and grunted a hello on the phone.

"Oka...y. So it's not going well? I mean, of course, it isn't. You wouldn't have picked up your phone if it was." Jules' voice rang through the speakers.

I gave Timothy an apologetic head tilt and moved to the corridor where I could talk freely.

"Of course it's not going well this was a bad idea. He is already preparing to go home with someone else Jules. Why did you convince me this was a great idea?" I bit angrily into the phone as I clutched it to my left ear.

"Pish posh. You are just chickening out. I would think after all that poetic waxing you two would be of adopting a baby, a dog and an alpaca by now." Jules said in her determined voice.

Knowing Jules as long as I did I could just picture her painting her toenails with one hand while she chastised me over the phone. A phone which no doubt was probably lodged between her shoulder and ear. Even though she could just place it on the loud speaker and place it on the table show would never do that. Jules was never one to do anything easy.

"I am not some old french poet. There was definitely no poetic waxing from me." I said to her as I glanced at both ends of the corridor to see if anyone could hear these absurd accusaions.

"Oh yeah! There was a lot of poetic waxing. Talking about how I don't deserve him. he was right to leave me. I am not enough for him. He probably needs a real husband who is better qualified than me. I don't need to be you but..."

"Okay okay, I get it there was some poetic waxing. I am sure we have officially overused those two words to make them irritating..."

I stopped talking when I saw Timothy walk out of the changing tooms clearly ready to go. He looked so clean and attractive. It was scary and unnerving. My words lodged in my throat as I forgot what I was going to tell Jules. This was it this was the Timothy I was going to talk? My heart sped up as it changed its galloping pace into a fully panicked one.

I looked up at him as he sent me a questioning glare.

"Okay...yeah. Waxing. Bye." I said stumbling over my call as I hung up on Jules. It was clearly now or never. If Timothy decided to break my heart I would take it. It wasn't like he was obligated to reciprocate feelings.

"Coffee?" He asked with a sturdy look.

"Coffee."