ღ Quiet Days. // SkinKami

⚡ღ Addicted.

Hitoshi's POV

I continued my way down the long ass sidewalk, pulling out the box from my pocket.
I removed the plastic, throwing it on the ground to meet the rest of the trash lined up on the side of the rode.

I opened the box, pulling the foil off, letting it slip from my grasp.
I pulled a stick from the box, and placed it in between my lips, putting the box back where it rested.

I pulled a lighter up to my mouth, lighting the nicotine stick and taking in a large inhale. I exhaled, it being followed by a large cloud of smoke.

I sighed, satisfied. Now I could begin to relax.
I know this isn't healthy for me either, but if anyone around me couldn't tell; nothing I do is healthy for me.
Ya see, an addiction can not be controlled. I would practically be killing myself if I just stopped. It would completely destroy my nerves and any less, my mental stability.

It helps me.

When I was first offered it, I took it. About an hour later, my body longed for more. I looked it up and it wasn't until then that I realized that I would never stop the cravings, nor would I try.

I would never stop.

Not long later, I inhaled again, being surrounding in yet another large cloud of smoke, hitting my face.
I dropped the finished butt onto the ground, seeing as I was now outside of the subway station.
I sighed as I watched people rush around loudly.

Great.

I walked down the stairs to meet the crowd, instantly regretting it. My anxiety levels rose and I started to sweat.

Jesus, why did I ever even attempt to try and become a hero?

I quickly got my ticket and retreated to the small, anal diseased filled bathroom, only locking myself in.

I stood next to the locked door, breathing heavily. People interact everyday? I can't even stand alongside them.

I recollected myself, bringing myself to leave the nasty ass bathroom. I unlocked and opened the door, stepping outside yet never joining the crowd.

I stood next to the door as I watched men go in and come out of it over the hour I had to stand there. Why did I come so damn early?

I finally kicked myself off the wall where I rested, and I started walking. I didn't know where I was going, but I was walking.

I stared at my feet, avoiding eye contact with anyone in case I meet someone from my 'business meetings'.

I hated when that happened, then I would have to make up some other stupid ass excuse.
"My dog is in the car!" I don't have a dog, or a car in that matter.
Of course none of them were aware of that.

I never let them get close to me. We never really talk, we do the deed and I leave. They usually need me for a way to piss off their spouse or some type of revenge.
I don't really mind, I usually get a drink out of it.

I was snapped back to my shitty reality when I felt something hit me. I realized that I ran into someone and instinctively offered them my hand.