You of all people - Stosuh

I don't care - A/N - SM Au

Okay, well, the next chapter isn't done. Happy Valentines day though! This was something I wrote awhile back, and never really posted. So while you guys wait for the next Stephen chapter, you can settle down and read this instead for the time being. Enjoy! (p.s: this is the soulmate au of Stosuh, but with a twist!)


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"And people just," "... the only thing I think they look forward to is finding that person to be with, and be happy with. Kind of like the type of me, to find that one morning I'll wake up with the strings around my soul and body, saying that they still exist, and in one moment they're there and the next moment it's as though they've never existed. And you know, you know immediately when they're gone because you wake up and you're still tied, but it's as though they had never existed, because the ties are different than they were when you had gone to bed, or before you shut the front door, or before you put on your sneakers, or even while you're just standing there doing nothing, and you don't know what happened to them. Their gender, name, face, location, and let alone death."

Stephen stared at Hosuh as they sat on the bench, right along the cliff side overlooking the city that laid below them, the people down there caring about their lives, and the cars driving by like always. But somehow, this time it felt different. It felt as though it was so much more meaningful than it had ever been before, sitting here alongside Hosuh. The street lamp beside them flickered on, catching his attention, though Hosuh continued to stare ahead at the sunset as though a zombie..

"Then they say that life is short. They say life is pointless, they say life is beautiful. I mean, I think the saddest part of life is growing up. First they take away Santa and the tooth fairy, and then they ruin your perception of people and the veiw of your parents." Hosuh smiled, scratching his head a little as he continued. "I mean, I think we've always known it, but I didn't think it would come so quick I suppose? 'Hey, little boy: You know this life you were leading? The one you always thought was so special and different from everybody else's, and it stands out? Well, actually you're just a flawed person like everybody else. I mean, you'll have good times, and bad times, but mostly just boring times. Most of your life will be uneventful anyway, so stop caring haha!'." Hosuh froze for a moment, before speaking. "But what about you? How do you see the world Stephen?"

He stared at Hosuh for a moment, opening his mouth to answer him, though nothing came out, and his dry lips came together, as he glanced away from Hosuh. How did he see the world? He had always known what he wanted, and he always knew his thoughts. Because, of course, they were his afterall. He always knew that he wanted to stay young forever in this world of fate between the strings of the soul, destined to find one another so they could grow old together, but that wasn't the point. What he wanted was to stay young. Forever. But, that wasn't the question. The question was: 'How do you see the world Stephen?'

He saw the world as something to his being, that it was something he was taking advantage of, as it was meant to be, even if that meant that he was due to kill every soulmate that came is way. But more than anything in that moment he wanted to come up with something deep, something smart that would impress Hosuh, though he said nothing.

They sat there for awhile, simply staring at the setting sun with one another, and he spoke. "I don't know." Hosuh didn't say anything, and listened. "But maybe, maybe when something really bad happens in your life, maybe you wish it could all go back to being boring."

A grin tugged at Hosuh's lips as he breathed out a breath of white frosty air, twiddling his fingers together as Stephen kept his eyes away from Hosuh. "Maybe boring isn't so bad, at least compared to all the horrible things in the world."

"I know." He finally spoke, Stephen smiling in response to that.
"And I know what you've done." His smile fell as his head immediately snapped to look at Hosuh, staring at him, and he sat there, paralyzed. Limp. Only his lungs telling him that he was still alive through breathing, and even then; he was drowning.

"I mean, it's kind of sad really. The journal, you know. The place you spill your emotions into as though it's a fountain to hold it for you instead of you having to keep it latched in your mind, so you can all let it go." He whispered as he pulled his knees up to his chest, silence for a moment. "I understand, it's hard. I know. But I guess what's even harder is knowing the fate of when and how you're going to die." Hosuh mumbled, taking out the piece of paper written in black pen ink, with a small photo of his face on it, a picture from their first date out together, though it was marked out with a thick red marker slash across his features.

Stephen wet his lips and avoided Housuh's eyes that stared him down. "If I'm like everybody else, I'm not even a real person anymore. Just a ghost, all of us floating around in the world. Well.. only to you, & if I'm being honest, I'm not even really living anymore. Am I? Empty shells who don't mean anything to you, or to anybody really. And if you aren't anything more than a ghost, nobody can really hurt you, right?"

Suddenly, Hosuh forced a dry laugh. "I mean, even if they hurt me real bad. Like, breaking my arm, or something, it won't even matter in the end. And so, if it doesn't matter; even if you hurt me, I don't care. Because it never mattered in the first place." Hosuh whispered softly as Stephen sat there, fidgeting.

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"Right?" He asked Stephen.