Good Omens One Shots

It's All Fun And Games 'Till Someone Kidnaps The Messiah (Doctor Who crossover)

This is a collaboration !
Authors:
    J_Anthony [https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Anthony]
    GingerBeer [https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerBeer42]
    and me. 
Beta reading by:
    Splashattack [https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack]
    Deamonia [https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deamonia] 
    JoyfulOmens [https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyfulOmens]

_____________________________________

We had a great idea on our Ineffable Writers Guild server to write a crossover between Doctor Who and Good Omens, and what's better than to start right at the beginning (by certain definitions of "beginning")?

Contains a Time Lord quirk that's rather obscure but is supported by canon. We'll explain later (as in, in the end notes). Also, this is meant to be set sometime after Journey's End but before The Waters of Mars for the Doctor, but there aren't really any spoilers for anything, and it could easily be set in any time period when the Tenth is alone. 

There's also a 3rd person POV version that is linked at the bottom.

______________________________________

The ACTUAL FIC

The TARDIS hummed contentedly as she zipped through the Time Vortex.

“So,” I said, turning the scanner towards myself. “New day, new plans. Anywhere in time and space! Where do you want to go?”

The only response was the irritated thrumming of the Time Rotor.

“What?” I turned, frowning. “Where are y— Oh. Right.” I sighed. “Travelling alone. Guess it’s just you and me, old girl. Any suggestions?”

She trilled, the lights on her console lighting up red and green.

“Christmas?” She knew I was fond of Earth holidays. “Christmas is always nice. How about the very first one? Sure hope no one tries to ruin it… It might even snow! No, but seriously, can you imagine actual snow on Christmas?”

A slightly annoyed beep. Yeah, right.

I shrugged. “Millionth time’s the charm, I live in hope. Allons-y!”

The TARDIS wheezed as I set the flight controls. “Hm, the year 7 BCE, formerly known as BC. Funny year to be born in as the one the zero year’s named after, but I suppose I can’t judge. Wibbly wobbly, eh? I wonder where they got ‘December 25th’, this isn’t even close.”

Thunk.

“Ooh, we’re here! Thanks, dear. I’ll see you later!” Giving the Time Rotor a pat, I grabbed my coat from a strut of coral and dashed out.

“No snow… Well, of course there wouldn’t be. Middle of the desert?”

No snow, on a Christmas that wasn't yet Christmas, and I was alone. The universe owed me a win, right? It was inevitable that I'd get tangled up with history— I couldn't not, it seemed. Might as well go find Jesus by myself. Stable in Bethlehem, how hard could it be?

Turned out, it was much harder than I expected. Nearly five hours later, I'd only made it to two stables, neither of which contained any newborns, let alone the supposed Messiah. My shoes were caked in sand and I would have fought down a pear if it meant I could have a glass of water after. Why did I ever think this was a good idea?

Rose would have laughed and made some teasing remark about how I never could stay out of things. Donna would have called me a stupid Martian who could never keep his nose out of things. And they'd be right— I’d been a terrible Time Lord in that sense. Non-interference? Never heard of them. Still was, I guess— but did it matter if I was the only one?