Reverie, collection of shivika moments

When the light darkens you( part 1)

He saw a beautiful pair of eyes. They were so similar to her and as beautiful , or even more cause she has been born out of his Annika's nurturing. He saw a face so beautiful that he fell in love instantly, and he realised love can happen at first sight too. Suddenly she started running from him, shivaay followed behind , he ran as fast as he could . He saw her disappear in darkness while he struggled to get to her.

Shivaay woke up with a jerk. He put his hand on his chest and felt his heart beat rapidly. He was sweating profusely. He saw Annika sleeping on the hospital bed and went near her . He took her hand in his hand and kissed on in with utmost love and care. He left her hand and then went towards her abdominal area, where once a little life nurtured. He gently caressed her stomach out of habit, to feel the heartbeats, the heartbeats which sounded like his and hers.  But now  the air was filled with a haunting silence, a silence which killed him every passing moment. A tear threatened to fall from his eyes, but he stopped it right there and gulped down, trying to dissolve the lump which had formed in his throat.

" I can't fall weak, she needs me" said shivaay, eyeing at the sleeping figure of Annika. He stared at Annika while a reverie of memories took over his mind. 

He rushed towards the hospital when he heard a news which would disrupt his entire world. His wife or you can call his life had met with an accident and was severely injured . This is what he remembers from the call he got as after that things got blurry, he felt his soul detach from his body and still somehow he managed to reach the hospital . He saw Om stand outside the operation theatre and rushed towards him with eyes full of Hope. Om just took him into a bone crushing hug. He heard on whisper " Bhabhi is severely injured. The doctors are saying that they can either save her or the baby". And then Om immediately broke down in his arms. Then he saw rudra rushing towards him and crying his heart out while taking the support of his shoulders. His hands involuntarily started caressing Om and Rudra. His body was doing the actions he was habituated of while his mind and heart were numb. He was asked to select either his life or the new life borne out of them. He was to select from his angel who brought him out of darkness Everytime and his princess who would light both their world's with her mere existence .
He had dreamt a life with his baby girl, his shivika but the dream could only be complete with his Annika.
He was lost in his thoughts when the doctor asked " what decision did you take Mr.Oberoi, will you save your wife or your child?"
Shivaay felt it difficult to speak, he felt it difficult to breathe . The hospital felt suffocating. Life felt suffocating to him. He wished to run away from the reality .
" Sir , take the decision fast or you might lose both of them" exclaimed the doctor to which shivaay immediately replied " I would like to save my wife"
He said those words and closed his eyes . He hadent shed a tear , as if his body refused to take any action. He sat down on the seat and just stared at the direction of the operation theatre. Om and Rudra were shocked to see him so strong, little did they know that he wasent strong, he was wasent even weak, he was literally dying. He just killed his own happiness, he killed her happiness. He killed his only dream.

After 2 long hours, the doctor came out and said
" The operation was successful Mr.Oberoi, we saved your wife . You can meet your wife."
" My, My chil.." shivaay asked, hoping against hope that they could have saved his little one.
" Sorry Mr.Oberoi, we couldn't save your daughter"
" Daugh... daughter" shivaay spoke with great difficulty.
" Yes, it was a girl. I am really sorry" the doctor kept a hand on shivaays shoulder and then walked away.

The word daughter rung in his mind constantly. His little princess was about to adorn their world and he lost her. Suddenly he realised he had to be with Annika, right now she needed him more than anything. Stiffening his hands , he went inside.

He opened the door and was shocked to see Annika crying while the nurse beside Annika was consoling her. The nurse who informed her that how her husband loved her so much that he selected her over the child.

" A..Annika" shivaay said to which she looked at him with blood shot eyes . She removed the needle from her hand and rushed towards shivaay, inspite of the nurse trying to stop her.
She held his collar and pulled him
" How could you do this, how could you kill my child!"
" Annika, you are weak, you need rest" Shivaay said while trying to pull her into a hug.
" Just stay away from me Mr.Oberoi" Annika shouted while pushing shivaay away with all her might.
Her vision started to blur, she kept her hand over her head and suddenly darkness spread around. She was about to fall when shivaay caught her.

" what..what happened to her" shivaay said while lifting her up. He laid her on the bed and the doctors checked her.

" she is really weak and on that she has experienced the trauma of losing her child. For a mother , it is really difficult to overcome the loss of her child, a child which she nurtured In herself for months. I think she saw you and that's why she got triggered. Make sure to keep her away from any kind of stress and help her over come the trauma"

Shivaay came back from his thoughts and told firmly
" Annika, I am with you, I won't let you drown in pain. I will bring you out of the trauma."

Annika was  discharged next day and was taken home while she ignored shivaay all the way.
She was sitting on the bed, with an expression less face, staring at nothing in particular when shivaay came inside with plate of food on his hands.
He took the spoon of soup and placed it near her mouth. Annika looked at him with questioning eyes .
" Annika, I have made this soup and aloo puri for you, eat it and then you have to take your medicines too"
Annika pushed his hand away and asked "why are you doing this ?"
" what do you mean Annika?" Shivaay questioned back.
" Why are you taking care of me? "
" What kind of question is that Annika. It's cause you matter to me"
" If that's the case, my happiness must matter to you right"
" Ofcourse Annika, your happiness is most important to me"
" Don't lie shivaay" Annika increased her voice " I won't fall in the trap of your words again. "
" Annika you know I don't lie, I stand to my words"
" Huh" Annika laughed over his sentence " You stand to your words right. You know what until now I used to believe the same but not now.  Rudra had asked you once that whether you would select your happiness or my(Annika) happiness, and how proudly you replied you would always select annikas happiness. And what did you do, you selected your happiness over mine. You knew what my child meant to me but you let my child go, you snatched it away from me. You know shivaay I always thought that you are the most selfless man I ever knew but today I got to know you are nothing but a selfish man who only cares about his own happiness"
Shivaay was taken aback but he understood what Annika must be feeling at that moment.
" Annika, please eat . I know we have lost happiness but you have taught me that we have to learn to live with pain right. We have to try to live life and find happiness again "
" Shivaay, the child may be just a small part of your world for you but it meant the world to me" Annika said in an accusing tone " I can eat food by myself "

Shivaay got up and hid behind the door as he didn't want Annika to get stressed.  He stood there and made sure whether Annika had her food and medicines.  She slept after having the medicines to which shivaay smiled.
" Annika must have said all that in anger, you know she doesn't mean it shivaay" shivaay said  trying to console himself as a tear escaped from his eye.

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