Reverie, collection of shivika moments

Shivaay

Guys, this is not a story but my attempt to analyse some unseen aspects of Shivaay's character. Hope you all like it

Let's dive into shivaay's character, shivaay in my perspective.

First a little insight into billu, the child shivaay who saw his uncle engage into relationship with other woman cause he had too many responsibilities and thus used it as
an escape.
He saw his aunt dive into the world of
drinking, as an escape of her husbands infidelity.
He saw his father not taking up any
responsibilities just so that he won't have to escape later.
He saw his mother loving money and name more than her son. Again an escape from her own insecurties.

He realised one thing he can't do is " escape" from his responsibilities. But in his attempt not to escape, he forgot to take a break and spend time with himself too.
He realised that the escape of his elders in an attempt to hide their own weaknesses. So he embraced strength like no one but there he failed to have compassion with his own self.

He took upon the ideologies demonstrated by his mother and portrayed that as his " self ". The self who was inherently flawed and the one who didn't deserve unconditional love. On the other side, to hide
this flawed self he had a self appraising side, thinking high about himself based on external factors like name and lineage. He didn't appraise himself on his" real self " cause he didn't know what he is.
He is the one who went to save Ashok in the Maha aarti. But neither does he percieve that as an act of kindness nor do people around him do that.
He protected his younger ones from the toxic ideologies but couldn't protect himself from it. He gave them unconditional love, helped them percieve that world it a good place. But for him, relationships stood as a
mere deal, unconditonal love, a foriegn concept.

Never having been the receiver, he felt it strange when she came and started giving unconditionally. Thus, he felt it difficult to thank . He didn't know how to receive.

He had been so used to squashing his own feelings, trying to stand on society ideals That he did that even when he got real love.
He could fight for everyone but not himself, cause he felt  his needs are not necessary.

Deep inside he craved for love. Someone to fill the emptiness of his heart. Someone to prove all his ideologies wrong. But he also feared investing in such deep connection, cause that heartbreak would break him totally.

Finally, when he found true love his heart realised he has a safe place to be himself. He realised he won't won't be judged on every action, he doesn't have to be perfect Everytime. He can make mistakes and still be loved. The real shivaay came out , the one who is kind, empathetic,forgiving and mainly a child at heart  . In annika's word " unke paas bhi ek Dil hai to har kisi ke lie dhadakta hai, sab ke lie sochta hai".