Falling For Him✅

Ch 53: Let Me Go

Zain's POV

I wonder if she knows that I miss her still? Is it strange to still see her face in heated visions? To wonder how she is feeling, hoping she is doing well. I hope she knows I always wanted what was best for her. Sometimes it is an onerous decision when you realize that you were not the choice that should be made.

Too long for someone with that intense craving that makes you shudder at the thought that you might not be able to quell your desire as quite insufferable.

Then you begin to reason with the torment in your heart, rationalizing that this outcome is the best for everyone. But you still feel that nagging pang in your soul. At times the thoughts pervade your mind, other occurrences are brief recollections that pepper your conscious day. Life has moved on.

Sometimes I feel a pang of subtle guilt for the times I am with others but my thoughts stray to her. Little things draw me back. Doing something we once did together brings that solemn smile to my face.

I think of her warmth, of her flesh, the caring embraces, and passionate kisses. The way we talked, the nuanced caresses, the countless messages about nothing in particular but to just let her know she was inside my thoughts.

Someday I may well wrestle these contemplations from my soul. Someday maybe there will only remain the slightest vestige of these endearments that plague me now. But someday is not today. Today I still miss her.

I still see her presence everywhere I go, being in this room sucks, without her. Sometimes I feel like she will just come and hug me, or make her expressive faces. She is so adorable all the time. I do miss her. Every minute without her feels like an hour. A whole fucking week without her, a week.

I was disturbed by the knock on the door.

"what?"

"may I come in?" I heard mama's voice.

"yeah". I yelled.

"so, how is  Maria's mom's health?" she asked.

"uh, huh what?"

"you said she was sick, and how long is she going to stay there, bring her home" mama said.

"oh... She is not so well, couple more days I guess"

"hmm... Come for dinner"

"no, I'm not in a mood"

"why not ?" she interrogated.

"I'm full, I want to sleep, could you please turn off the lights? " I asked.

"yeah sure, good night"

She headed to the switchboard and turned the lights off, going out.

They say missing someone is a part of loving that person. And actually, that is completely true. There isn’t a better feeling than when you see the person you’re in love with after a while without them.

I've been missing that one person all that time while she is gone. I've been aching for her because I  love her.

As a matter of fact, missing my old conversations and rewinding all those details that remind me of her is the hardest thing to go through. But the reward of reuniting with the person I've missed is more than enough to compensate that time in-between.

I  want to tell the person I love how I  feel when she is not around.  want to let her know that my heart is aching for her touch, and she is the only thing on my mind every single minute of every day.

I want her to know all of that and so much more – but words are not enough to describe what I'm feeling, although she is the best I have right now.