Saving myself (complete)

Fear

Song: bad dreams by ruelle

As soon as I get home I place the box on the table and run upstairs to my room. I quickly shut and lock the door behind me. I take off my shoes, my soaked shirt, soaked bra, soaked pants, and partially soaked thong. I replaced them with a crop top that stopped at my belly button and a bra. No I wouldn't sleep with this on. My boobs need to breathe. I put on Panda pajama pants. I threw my soggy clothes into the laundry basket in my room and took a deep breath.

I had to look at the text. I walk over to my bed and plop down right beside my phone. I pick it up and look at my texts. I ignore the ones from the girl and go straight to the unknown number. I felt the warmth leave my body. It was replaced by anger, paranoia, and most of all, fear. There was three pictures.

One with me in the cafe sitting at the table. The next with Reen dragging me along. Then the third is with Asher and I as we walked back to the house. I turned my phone off and brought my hands up to my face. Without thinking I dug my nails into the sides of my face and started to drag down, feeling the pain of my nails paint red marks along my face.

I can't fucking handle this. And the thing is, I have to deal with it all on my own. I have to protect everyone around me by just keeping this horrible secret. If I'm being honest, I don't want to die. But I'd rather die than have my family or friends die.

When I was younger I've always dreamed of growing up perfectly fine, getting good grades, being the life of the party, college, job, amazing husband, nice house, and a few kids. Looking at my life now. I doubt a few of those are going to happen. My life is not normal anymore. Instead of getting A's and whatnot I'm getting B's and C's. I'm not the life of the party. At all. But maybe the rest can happen.

I shake my head then look down at the messages on my phone. They are stalking me. Meaning they can strike whenever they want and I wouldn't have a clue. Without thinking my hands flew up to my stomach. The stomach that once carried a tiny human being.

As soon as I realized what I was doing, I immediately took my hand off of my stomach like it was on fire. That baby was not yours Rayne. It was a monsters baby.

But even thinking that... I knew I was wrong. It wasn't just a monsters baby. It was MY baby. That was forming inside of me. That DIED inside of me. I shook my head. No getting caught up in that baby shit. I'm not even ready for a baby.

I got into my phone and deleted the pictures and texts. I put my phone down and threw myself back, looking at the ceiling. Sometimes this is too frustrating on me. Everything piling onto of me at once. This was so dumb.

Next thing I know I'm outside. In pajamas, with a throw blanket draped over me. There's no rain. But it is windy. It's almost dark outside. But I have my phone on. And I know how to hightail it out of bad situations. I ignored judgmental looks as I walked by people. I knew there could be someone watching me. My kidnappers. Of course they could be watching me. Right now.

Right now I am defenseless. All I have is myself, my throw blanket, and my phone. Right now I felt alone. Surrounded by people but inside I am alone. Reen is an asshat, Carmen and Lauren are... I have no idea, my siblings? Yeah no. No thank you.

Then without thinking I ran back, through my blanket at Ryan, then left again. Running back to where I was. The fuck is wrong with me?! I sighed and let out a slight giggle thinking about how dumb I am.

As soon as I got far from my house there was music that caught my attention. There was noise, shouting, cheering. Who the hell? I watched as a girl with blond hair, basically a bra, and a Mini skirt walk out, swaying her hips. I looked around to see if anyone else was paying attention. Some guys across the street were. But that's it. Only me and those two.

I watched as they waited for the cars to pass so they could cross. But no cars let them go. So they just ran across playing crossyroad with theirselves. And the cars. As soon as they got across they gave each other a fist bump. No one seemed to stare at them aside from me. Then I felt weird watching them. But I wanted to see if they go into the alleyway.

They pulled out a wad of cash and my eyes went wide. Why would they need that? I shook my head. Stop staring. Yeah... I didn't listen to myself. I watched as one winked at me and let out a little smile. Then the two went into the alley where all the noise was coming from. Then there was cheering a few minutes after. What is that? My head started spinning and I felt sick.

I knew I couldn't be out after dark. Because of my kidnapper. Because of my siblings fears. But I mean.... this was a well lit area back there. I could tell from the light on the alleyway walls. It has light. Whatever it was.... I'd hopefully be safe. So I could go down there. See what is there. And then if I like it maybe stay. If I don't then get out.

I grab my phone out of my pocket and go to Mine and Eli's texts. I type a short message and sent it. I shoved my phone in my waistband and sighed. Ready? I don't even know why I ask.