Of Soot And Cinders

VII

SOOT

I was bouncing with nerves at breakfast.

Tomorrow evening, at midnight, in the gardens.

Grimm's deep voice echoed through my chest. I shouldn't be so excited, there was almost complete certainty that I would end up punished for it... but... he looked so excited when he saw me in Madalena's room. I don't know that anyone had ever looked at me with that same—

I bit my lip, trying to calm myself. I knew that there wasn't much that could come of tonight. I'd had men be interested in me before, for my body. Grimm wasn't the same, I knew that, or I hopped, but it was another harsh reminder of what silly children's dreams would do to me.

I picked off another small bite of bread, setting it lightly on my tongue. It was easier to pretend there was more with smaller bites.

Sara sat beside me, having already finished her meal. All the servants were given the same food portions (plus a little extra) as the slaves, but they had the option to bring their extra portions home with them to add to whatever food they had stored for their families. They often had choices too, sometimes there was extra dried meat from the royal kitchens, or extra apples and pears from the orchards, or even the royal baker would burn a few spiced rolls which were divvied out.
I'd never had a taste of any of that before. My diet was strictly the scraps of dry loaves and thick stew left over from whoever had not wanted it.
But since I'd forgotten its taste, from a time when my mother would spoil my mouth and stomach with whatever I hungered for, I didn't find myself craving for anything but what was placed in front of me. Especially after a week of being starved for punishment.

The chatter around me was soft and all gossip.

"Did you hear?" Mary, one of Sara's fellow chamber maids asked.

"Hear what?" Sara said. She didn't care for gossip but she wouldn't ever dare stop a conversation.

"One of the guards, overhead a conversation between prince Caspian and the King. Apparently the prince has found someone who he intends to marry should he not meet his mate on the full moon."

This got Sara's attention. I picked slowly still at my bread, and watched more and more of those around us tune into the conversation. "And who told you this."

"Betcha' it was tat' guard as she sucked—" the stable boy who sat further down the table was cut off by a reaching wack to the arm from Sara.

Mary pouted her lips but continued on. "Apparently it's someone working in the palace, the guard said he hadn't heard such yelling between the two. Some servant, cleans apparently. What I wouldn't give to be on the cleaning team now." She finished with a sigh.

Sara snorted along with the stable boy from before.

I looked down to my pockmarked piece of bread, pulling off another piece. The thought was laughable, a prince and a servant. I didn't even think— well I knew, that it was impossible for me a slave, to be with Grimm. And he was only a nobleman. I pitted the prince and his lover, it wouldn't be easy for their love to be accepted. I could only imagine trying to fight for the right to love someone as being terribly difficult. But slaves weren't allowed to be with anyone, and I'd never be allowed to fight for that right. That had been taken from me at the age of six.
But I supposed it was much like a prince. Slaves could only be with their mates if ever they met, and Princes could only be with other royalty.
I smiled at the thought, of being like a prince.

When I looked back up Sara's face was white and crestfallen. She was looking at me, but her eyes flicked up once to something behind me. And as I turned to see what it was that had her pale as a sheet I noticed everyone else turned to the same thing. And then I picked up on the silence, a few bowed heads, and worried looks flicked my way.