I Surrender | tk

Chapter 24: Defiant

Pic cred kvfaerie

Sorry for the mistakes plz :)

Third Person POV

Jeongguk always wears a helmet when he's on his motorbike except only when he's with Taehyung. But going back from Taehyung's house to his shop, he doesn't wear it because he knew he'd feel suffocated if he wears it, without it even, he feels suffocated, a lump in his throat but he doesn't let any emotion surface.

He feels the wind in his hair, it's cold and it makes his whole body shiver but Jeongguk wants this, he wants to feel the brutality of cold so and wants it to knock some senses in him because what he did---despite craving and needing it---was not something that was supposed to happen.

Not in this fucking Cheongdam atleast.

Reaching his shop, he stops when  he's about to open the door, doesn't know why he doesn't feel like going inside. Or maybe he does know, just doesn't want to ad it that he'll be alone.

He doesn't want to be alone.

If before tonight, Taehyung was all be could think of so now, now that he knows how good it is to finally kiss Taehyung---to have him and feel him completely---he doesn't know what will happen.

Jeongguk was never a person to lose control easily. He's controls them that is why Kim Sungho is probably alive or else Jeongguk would've killed him. But Jeongguk's doing so many things which he's not supposed to do and will probably regret in the future or maybe not.

But he's sure that he'll end up hurting himself and also Taehyung.

Jeongguk doesn't want that.

Taehyung has etched himself into Jeongguk's mind and he knows that there's no way he'll ever stop thinking about Taehyung.

He has been ignoring many damn things regarding all this mess with Taehyung---about Taehyung and about his own thoughts but it's too much now, that is why he lost control and kissed Taehyung---broke his own fucking rule.

He knew that if he kissed Taehyung, he'd not be able to stop and that is what happened---he kept kissing him.

Jeongguk wants to cry because he complicated everything and being a coward that he is, he'll run away and keep hurting himself, keep hurting Taehyung.

Why do I even care about him? And that's the problem, he doesn't know but he knows this a little much that he doesn't want to hurt Taehyung but he doesn't know why he feels like he'll have to hurt him.

Jeongguk goes inside his shop, locking it and walks to his room---even after being in cold outside, he takes a cold shower, a ridiculous thing to do because how's that supposed to stop him from not thinking about what happened earlier.

Rather, the moment he left Taehyung's house, he had wanted to go back.

This doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. Jeongguk knows it doesn't but why does he sees it as a biggest fucking lie.

It had to be the truth, Jeongguk will have to make sure of it.

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"How do you know you're in love?" Taehyung asks.

Namjoon was taken aback by the sudden question. They were at their usual breakfast place and were talking about the usual stuff, Namjoon hearing Taehyung curse his father and Daewon and telling him about the new project too.

To which Namjoon replied that it's good they're doing this project because it'll get him more time to not get engaged but Taehyung couldn't tell him that he doesn't want it to happen and certainly can't tell him why he doesn't want it to happen.