Kotlc the Musical

Kotlc+Bo Burnham (shizpost)

Please turn back before it's too late.

Tam:

Every time I go to dinner, seems like I'm gettin' a little bit thinner

I'll sit down at the breakfast table, I can talk, they're not able

When I look at them I find, there's a single question on their mind

I wish it could go back to the way it was

It's not easy now because...

Peggy: I forgot why I'm doing this.

Tam:

The whole fandom thinks I'm gay

I guess it's always been that way

Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk

Makes them think I like...

Boys

That I like boys....

Peggy: Someone stop me

Tam: 

The freaking question just won't go away

And I get asked every single day

But the way they ask it is not a disguise.

Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"

That's... funny.

This is the worst, this was my fear

Now their opinions are crystal clear because....

The whole fandom now is shocked.

I'm in the closet and the door is locked

Now my glory days are gone

I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John

The whole fandom now suspects

That talking to Keefe had side effects

I'm not gay and that's what I said!

If I'm gay, hey God strike me dead, y'know?

*collapses*

Peggy: This happens every time. *sighs* Keefe! Go help.

Keefe: Me? Why?

Peggy: Just do it.

Keefe: *grumbles and takes Tam's script*

Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow

Or my favorite color is... the rainbow

*nervous laughter* It's a joke.

I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must

Because I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust

Because...

Tam: *looks up* Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay.

Keefe: *blush*

Tam: *puts his head down again* *muffled* Just kidding. Heh... heh

Keefe: *looks out at the camera* ... You all probably think I'm gay.

Tam: *sits up* This song's pretty counterproductive.

Keefe: Uh... la la la la la la

Kam: Because the whole fandom thinks we're gay

What do they know any way?

You gotta look right through the haze

You're probably going through a phase

The whole fandom thinks we're queer

That is all we ever hear

But we've both straight as a ramp

Tam: If you don't count... Legally Blonde.

Keefe: ... Heck.

I have no idea what this is. Just take it and leave.

Peggy out.